Sexual Merit Badges. The Merit Badges that lead up to a song by The Lonely Island and Akon...you guess which one. Holy jewish tits batman! This made it to the t
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Sexual Merit Badges

The Merit Badges that lead up to a song by The Lonely Island and Akon...you guess which one.
Holy jewish tits batman! This made it to the top 60! I'm currently ******** myself from seeing that it made it this far! Thanks for the Red Text next week by the way!

Requirements
IE be completed in Elementary School)
v Pronounce ' properly.
r', Discuss the major pitfalls oi the "Stork" theory, and of the “Mom Poops
the Baby Out” paradigm.
Point out which part at the female anatomy produces milk, lemonade,
and where ledge is made.
Answer the following: Kevin and Melissa are discovered sitting in a
tree, Where is the clitoris?
Special Awards
First Aid: During lunch, can a friend over to
look at your new Show him Into
Jenny, and quickly administer an emergency
Coolie Shot.
Tracking: arm, porn abandoned in the woods.
Reenact the "Nude Magazine Day" scene
from Billy Madison in its entirety.
Hot am Teacher: When answering a
question, speak quietly so your teacher has to
bend over to hear you. Look down her shirt.
Badge is awarded when you we the int =
nipple that doesn’ t belong to your mother.
merits
IE be completed in Middle School)
IWW.', “vagina” accurately.
Describe the tour bases, indicating which base "touching boobs" tails
under. Defend your argument.
Discretely bash T! guts’ butts with the back your hand. Do you think
thaw what a boob feels like? Explain.
Describe what you think a Blow Job might be, based on the name.
Blow? How does that feel good?
aring The Miracle of " squint hard enough to convince yourself its
a documentary called “Karate Moms."
Choose a girl hem your 'h% will do. Every day for a
period, tell her she slum her bra. Log her reactions. Does
she like you yet?
Special Award
Assisted Sperm Masturbate 8 times in
one day " 21 times in one week.
The Negotiator: Talk down the erection you
got stretching tor gym before you have to
stand up.
The Talk of Shame: Tell your little brother
what you know about sex, permanently
stunting his libido.
Turn Vow Head and : Avoid getting
an erection when the doctor touches your
junk during your physical. or if you do,
tell anyone, okay?
Sears Taken: Casually arrange to sit next to
a cute n " the bus on a class " Talking
to her is not required, although accidentally
farting will disqualify you from this award.
merits
IE be completed in High School)
Give an accurate account of a vagina.
Demonstrate ability to @ W: unhook a bra through a toshiro.
Describe what condition a ", must be in in order to play ball.
Using the Internet, research different sexual positions and erotic
circumstances, making note oi your favorites. Report your wildly
inaccurate expectations of sex to your inst girlfriend.
Discuss: Where the **** is the Gospod anyway? is it a real thing? is it a
metaphor or something?
Hook up with Jenny at prom. Tm your last chance, you colitis!
Spe at Award
Sock of Shame: Maintain poker lace when
your mom tells you she dound a sock in your
garbage and washed it tor you.
The Mentor: Leave hardcore porn
somewhere in public woods to help younger
scouts complete their badge requirements.
Plan A: Convince your friends, and yourself,
that you' re a by choice.
IE be completed in College)
Talk about how much you love vagina.
Hook up 5 times while your roommate is in the room.
Hook up with your high school g riend over winter break. It she got
hotter, brag to friends. If she got fat, SEND the shame oft of your junk
with a pumice stone.
Rank the following locations from most to least likely to lind a suitable
g friend: A. the bar; " the gym; C. the phannact. Email
Quit masturbating to the time you ' Jenny at prom. You
know you' re beating oil to a minor, Mi
Spe at Award
Sneak out oi a girl’ s room
without her noticing.
The Wizard: Sneak out of a girl' s room
without her noticing.
The Sister Sweep: Hook up with two sorority
Mlm two actual Mlm two conjoined
sisters, and the Sister Sister sisters.
Mil Case: Whenever you brin a girl back to
your dorm, have her make a Mil in Mi Sports.
Badge is awarded when you can [ttm an
entire baseball team with exploders.
Into the crevasse: Every Saturday tor a
period, hookup with the most
gin at the bar Options mites, but are not mrm to,
metal girl, the gin with the , the amputee
Desume in denied metaphor What
is =
...
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Views: 11467
Favorited: 71
Submitted: 04/22/2011
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Comments(42):

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#13 - devinme (04/22/2011) [+] (1 reply)
This is why I like scouts.... there's lots of merit badges to do!
#35 - boogerpicker (04/23/2011) [+] (4 replies)
i won almost every single badge and im in middle school
#41 to #35 - gmarrox (04/23/2011) [-]
My ************** is burning a hole in my head.
+3
#23 - levr **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#1 - anon (04/22/2011) [-]
To The front page
#31 - anon (04/23/2011) [-]
When I was in Middle School, I though a blow job was istered to a girl by a boy; the boy put him mouth over her vagina, and blew into it like a balloon.

No joke.
#7 - dirtydamhippie (04/22/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Comment Picture
#9 to #7 - cjanisch (04/22/2011) [-]
WRONG
WRONG
User avatar #6 - ithumbeverything (04/22/2011) [+] (1 reply)
i just had sex
#15 to #6 - Djfritz (04/22/2011) [-]
and it felt so good
#45 - anon (04/23/2011) [-]
*insert challenge accepted meme* im going for second base this week
User avatar #25 - friednazi ONLINE (04/23/2011) [-]
I got all of the 2nd base badges except for "The Talk of Shame" because I don't have a little brother.
User avatar #42 - pitas (04/23/2011) [-]
It's nudie magazine day! Billy Madison, **** yeah.
#39 - anon (04/23/2011) [-]
haha the sock of shame
User avatar #33 - pedobearandson (04/23/2011) [+] (2 replies)
proud to say i made good progress on these badges before i was supposed to
#32 - anon (04/23/2011) [-]
**anonymous rolls 4,663**
#30 - anon (04/23/2011) [-]
/to #27
please repost


User avatar #12 - Xcentriq (04/22/2011) [-]
Hello Repost
#10 - ulrock (04/22/2011) [-]
I do appreciate seeing it again, however
User avatar #8 - ShadowThunder (04/22/2011) [-]
**ShadowThunder rolls 80,387**
User avatar #4 - kittygoth (04/22/2011) [-]
retoast man but if you get enough thumbs to get to the front page then good for you
#2 - anon (04/22/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Damn, I'm only at second base.
[ 42 comments ]
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