How to be a Successful Evil Overlord Pt2. Link to part 1 funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1919463/How+to+be+a+Successful+Evil+Overlord+Pt1/ Part 3 coming soon.. I w
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How to be a Successful Evil Overlord Pt2

I will hire a fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legion , opposed to aome
cheap that make them look like Nazi stc) ) c) petie, Roman foot soldiery, or sauage Mongol
horder. all were eventually defeated and I want my troopa to have a more ponitime .
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field
betterthan my head.
I will keep a special cache of logitech weapond and train my troopa in their uae. That way -- wen ofthe
heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/ tor render the energy weapond
useless -- my troopa will not be overrun by a handful of savage armed with apeard and rocka.
I will maintain a realistic a! ii! iie! ii! of my strength and weaknesses. Even though this takes aome fun
out ofthe job, at least I will nearer utter the line "No. this cannot bel I AM ." (After that,
death Is usually Instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will nearer construct any amt of machinery which Is completely
Indestructible except for one small and virtually Inaccessible apod.
No matter how attractive certain members ofthe rebellion are, there Is probably aomeone just
attractive which Is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent
to my bed chamber.
I will nearer build only one of anything important. all important systems will have redundant control
panels and power supplies. For the aami reacon I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapond at
My pet moniter will be kept in a accure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not
accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colore. and throw my enemies into confusion.
all bumbling conjurers, clumsy Squires, normalest bards, and cowardly theeyes in the land will be
put to death. My foee will surely glue up and abandon their quest ifthey have no cource of
comic relief.
all naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, waitresses who
will procide no unexpected reinforcements and/ tor romantic for the hero or his aidenrock.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad newa just to illustrate how mil I really
am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won' t require female members of my organization to wear a bustier.
Morale Is better with a more casual . Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will
be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It nearer helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now make you look like a
disaffected member of Generation x.
I will not imprison members ofthe aami party in the aami cell block, let alone the aami cell. ifthey are
important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my perdon instead of handing copier to
eatery guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tell me my Legion Is looing a battle, I will believe him.. After all, he' s
my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger" ambling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have
them killed Immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings
towards me in my old age.
I will be neither chivalrous nor aborting. lfl have an unstoppable ) n, I will USE! it early and as
often portible instead of keeping it in refer' .
Once my power Is accure, I will destroy all ofthose pesky time travel devices.
For part 3
...
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Submitted: 04/04/2011
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - MuahahaOfLore (04/04/2011) [+] (1 reply)
only if the uniform includes a cape, capes are badass
#4 - xxvengancexx (04/04/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #2 - newnoobisnew (04/04/2011) [-]
bitch u seriiously expect me to read all that?
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