This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired; however, heisse is currently suing the Word Perfect
organization for "Termination without cause". This is actual dialogue of a former Customer Support employee:
Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
Yes, well, the having trouble with Worda' effect. "
What sort of trouble?"
Well, t was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. "
They disappeared. "
Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
We blank: it won' t accept anything when t type. "
Are you still in , or did you get out?"
How do t tell?"
Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
There isnt any cursor.‘ t told you, it won' t accept anything t type. "
Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
What' s a monitor?"
It' s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it' s on?"
l dont know. "
Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Yes, t think so."
Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it' s plugged into the wall-"
When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there are two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Okay, here itis."
Follow it for me, and tell me if it' s plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Oh, it' s not because t dont have the right angle - it' s because it' s dark."
Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light t have is coming in from the window."
Well, turn on the office light then."
No? Why not?"
Because there' s a power failure."
A power-.. A power failure? Ahah, Okay, we' got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff you computer came in?"
Well, yes, t keep them in the closet."
Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it unjust like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it "
Really? ts it that bad?"
Yes, I' m afraid it is."
Well, all right then, (suppose. What do t tell them?"
Tell them you' re too stupid to own a computer."