The most epic guy on facebook
is . weird , It scares me. I always Imagined parties III-: e this having
mare layers elf security than the white muse. Yet all I needed was a red
wristband with a " an it. and suddenly an an' T, tam' anoter" mercenaries is hustling me
inta a mansion the size afa Holiday Inn.
Flashes sh awer dawn an us as we walk. apparently just In case we' re mm nus.
We' re nal But that hardly seems ta matter. We blend pretty successfully with the guests -
and by I mean ‘drink heavily‘.
This phats turned am 9556 mare dramatic than intended
By ta the entrance. the actual party seems tame. Elf causse. ' s Tame" as
In MGE drinks served ta yau by naked. ? ! nymphs with Tinkerbell
wings is ‘tame.‘
In hiring an I hat tall Iran Elm" ta breakdance is
planet earth. however. these things may M may nat be considered absurd ta the poiint
Maw is a gaad time ta mention there were E awn bars.
Dude. this was awesonme-
By the time Paris Haws am the candles. we' re l: ta smithereens. Aidzen drinks deep.
slurring the lyrics ta ‘Happy Birthday" as an continuous ward while I' ll]! ta
fall face First inta the cake.
The cake is big. ks red. It says ‘F' aris".
And it lacks if-‘ king ' .
ks getting late. As the party thins Mt. I glance toward lakeville and realize slice caf
deliciousness has been served.
What' s the deal with the cake?‘ I Finally ask we caf the waiters.
h" that red me? They' ll threw it put..."
I am Jack' s incredulous stomach.
it was at this inebriated moment I decided rm cane was gaing ta waste warm T,
errything an my watch.
I ta Kevin... d have ta rescue that cake."
Bet mu can' t." he says.
Bet I blaahh.‘ I say.
get the car." he says.
This is my gift ta 1.. -‘cm. Blurtit welcome.
Even in my state. I realize this is gaing ta be a delicate mission. There are
still at least ow. maple In the building. 2056 m wham are employed ta be making far mints
Farming a confection the size afa small firetruck through the main hall is gaing ta turn a
head M twp.
I make far the frand dam as my makes far the valet. I suoraan same gumption and begin
ta walk purposefully back inta the party.
I brush shoulders with the guy which resembles the head ' security.
Hey man." I say ta him with an air ' ! @ M ‘The cake is in that mam.
he with a slight haw toward the rear m the muse.
I take my cue and make a bullet Far cake city.
In we fluid median. I sidestep a confu sed waiter. seize the prize. and aha m face ta the
I pass the security chief again an the way but.
I nad he nah In return.
rqtr. secants later " In the frand seat afa Nissan : -:ima with Mr. lbs. T, awesome in my
As the sun rises. I crash hard. In the warning. Ill awake ta an Interesting surprise in the
M! red. It' s delicious. And I dank haw h' stlil " gaing ta m with it.