How to give good head to a girl. . Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they den' t like it but because it' s really hard. we have to learn it. Giving geed hea
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How to give good head to a girl

Men suck at eating pussy. Not because they den' t like
it but because it' s really ******* hard. we have to
learn it. Giving geed head is the key Just about
everything in life (including getting geed head later
en}, so it' s time we brake it dawn.
Like this. The secret to giving geed head is read
the signs. we could be the best sexual mechanic in
the weed, but if we can' t read the emotianal road
signs, yeu' m geing to end up wandering around in a
labial wasteland until, eventually, we drop
from exhausted, het tears w confusion streaming
down yew face. Think w eating the puss as your way
w saying, "although I am abaut to mck your insides
with 3 aoo lbs. w explosives, here' s a little intimate
treat session shew yeu hew I really Feel." Instead
w screaming "OH MY GOD! I" like her baby has been
trapped under a car (which is what ******* sheild
doh cunnilingus elicits a mere splendiferous
kind of like being
massaged with exotic fruits by a muscular Arab oil
sheik. A geed mange (that' s French for "eat/' we
brutal is like a thousand years of Saturdays or ene
w those Flake adverts. Break it dawn!
BE DOWN
Dont go dawn unless yeu' re down. Unlike fellatio,
cunnilingus can never be done as a fawn Doing it
when we den' t want will anly bring on the dry
heavens. Eat like a pig at the trough and a let of
stupid mistakes get forgiven. DON' T SAY HI TO DRY
A dry pussy is an unhappy pussy. If your fingers
graze a dry bush, back to the kissing and hugging
fer awhile. Just make sure we actually dip yew
finger between the lips. Sometimes moisture gets
trapped between the labia and a little fingering coax-
ing is all that' s needed to get the honey dripping.
Once youve sure the beaver is wet, give it a few
light, TEASING stakes with yew finger. There' s neth-
ing verse than rushing inte this, make sure she' s
really begging fer it befire we get under the severs.
Extra tip: Be like Prince and bring up a wet finger
that both of we can share like a milkshake
with me straws.
Important: we? play yew trump card tee seen by
putting yew fingers all the way inside. This can -
tract mm the upcoming penetration and kill the
TEASE factor. Try to remember that 78% w a
woman' s pleasure is abaut . Poking it in
too seen ts sure put out the fire.
SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU, BABY
Once she' s lathe's up, it' s time to go down. Get
yew fingers eut w there and den' t much anything for
a bit. Let yew lap m a bit of grinding and get seem
necking in like yeu' m geing away en Va-
cation. Though it' s very tempting en yew way down
pull the blankets over yew head like the little
yolerman that we are, this is a very bad idea. It
gets super hot dawn there and whipping the duvet "
yew head and gasping fer air ten decends befire she
semes is pretty much going to kill the meed. Start by
kissing her webs and stomach and working
yew way dawn. Oen' t get canned away with those
stupid tits, thaugh. That' s samething we should have
taken care w befire the pants even came off. Right
new it' s all about the stomach and inner thighs. A
little bit of gennie biting is good, but a sure winner is
to start at the knee and move towards the muff in a
slew, sharkyjake sweep. Nibble yew way right up
the edge of her cunt, then skip acre's it and head fer
the other knee. Repeat. Doing this a few times will
get her really het and save yeu a let of pussyfooting
time in the leng run. When yeu' m just abaut ready to
do the deed, start practicing on that weird crevice
next to the lips. Don' t spend tee long there er she
might start to think that we think that' s the actual
cunt. By new she should be DYING for we tn make
yew mave. If yeu' re doing it right, she' ll be moaning
and trying tn few yew head between her legs.
STRETCH THIS PHASE OUT until she leeks like she' s
been helding her breath fer three days.
Extra trick: Hever ever the bush fer about five sec-
ends befire the first lick. If we wait lenger than that,
she might think yeu' re having weed thoughts be-
cause it smells bad. or course, we all knews that
************ smells sweeter than a bawl w steamin'
grandaddies.
Important: Never bite the cunt in any way whatsa-
ever. If this needs mere explaining we sheild prob-
ably just stick Jerking eff.
PARTING THE RED SEAS
Isolate your playing field. Pubic hairs are to eating
pussy what cavities are tn dental hygiene. 'mu' re
never geing to be able to identify all the parts if she
leeks like that PIL album That What is Net. One het
hick is tn get her to spread her lips apart w her
pussy is all set up fer yeu like a great big buffet.
THE GRAND ENTRANCE
Do your first lick super slew. It' s geed groan and
mean tee. It shews we' re digging it while sending
microscopic vibrations right up her snap-
per. Start Just above the anus and take it all the way
the hm about a dawn of these "St. Bernard
licks" before moviee en (take it REALLY SLOW, like
few decends per lick). This is a geed time figure
out what kind of clit she has. If it' s real sensitive
she' ll prabably chevelle as we pass ever it and that
means we' re probably in fer an easy ride. If there' s
no reaction when we graze ever her clit, she prob-
ably has one w these nerveless little we clits and
we' re in fer a session w dengue-
tendinitis.
ROCK THE BOAT
Eating pussy is w gentle it can make yeu feel like a
bit w a fag. If we' re getting tired of being ballerina
boy, take it out en the clit. Figure out hew much
abuse it can take without making her uncomfertable
and shew the little bastard whe' s boss. After all, Mr.
Elusive is precisely what makes mutt diving so dim-
cult. He' s surounded by labia and, even after we
find him, all the pressure can pop him ever to the
side. All of a sudden we' re giving the pee hale the
seeing to w its life. Think of the clit like a tumer in a
pile of ear lebens. When we push dawn on the area
he' s the anly one that can' t be squished. Once ene of
yew dengue creepers finds him, call fer -
meets. Use yew lips to get hers eut w the way and
feces all yew attentive inte getting him alene. Once
you find him, give him a bit efa hard time fer trying
to hide Yom you. Frisk him and give him a couple of
whacks acmes the head. Mere on this punk and his
bad attitude later. Extra imperdiet tip: The best way
to stimulate the clit is to run yew entire dengue ever
it after we isolate it from the lips. The man in the
boat sheild feel the texture of the entire dengue
pushing down en his body and his boat.
IDENTIFYING THE Curr TYPE
After the slew licks it' s time to get this party started.
There are essentially me types w critera. Ones that
enjee a serieus going ever and ems that den' t. The
latter suck abaut as much as a penis and
you should dump her right away. Extra tip: clits
cemo in all shapes, sizes and sensitivities, but that
doesn' t really tell we much. All of them want to be
treated slew and soft at the beginning but the only
way tn tell if we can fast at the end is by reading
her reactions. This is impossible teach but Just do
the best we can. All we can tell we is convulsing
means take it ease and "Oh my Shed" means bring it
CUTS THAT NEED A SERIOUS GOING OVER
These are the mast hm because yeu can be creative.
Pretend your dengue is the bad cep and the clit is the
guy whe killed yew partner. Separate him from his
buddies (the tips) and suck him right up inte your
meath. Now he' s en yew turf. Keep him erect by cre-
ating an vacuum chamber in yew mouth.
Slap the little bugger upside the head with ene big
dengue benk. He' s net geing tell yeu **** because
he' s a clit and he has no idea what we' re talking
abaut, but kick his ass anyway. After a few teasers
and swirling circles, him senseless like a
boxer whacking a speed bag. If she starts freaking
out like it' s too much, ease up on the interogation
and go back the St. Bernard licks. The vacuum is a
great way tn bring her tn orgasm, but it' s a bit much
sometimes, so mix things up with seem circles
around the clit and seem dengue ******* . As we' re
closing in for the kill, back the vacuum and give
the suspect a relentless head smacking. Upland-
dennies are usually the mast effective, but yew
dengue will get less tired if we threw in a few side-
darksides. When we feel the inner thighs start to
shake, this is it. Be repetitive. Dre NOT be creative.
we' re almost heme and this is not the time to start
changing tactics.
Extra tip: Te keep the rhythm geing, try repeating a
chant in your head that gees with the movement w
yew dengue like a Mic Mac Indian (, -
Any inconsistent amen may threw
her eff, killing the mem er at least setting we back a
few minutes, which is bad fer morale.
Important: Keep going several decends after her
orgasm. Remember, it isn' t ever until the hands cemo
down hm above and lay we eff. If she' s multi-
orgasmic we' ll have tn keep geing until we' dene
the whale muting another four er five times. If we' re
not sure what to m, just keep giving her **** until
the magic hands come dawn tn pull yeu eff.
CUTS THAT DON' T
Seem clits den' t want to be singled out and battered
around. These are the boring ems that need be
treated with gentle care. Just do casual St. Bernard
licks until she cums, pure and simple. If we' re get-
ting bored try going in seem different directions fer a
while. A good way tn keep it random is to spell out
different letters w the alphabet with the tip w yew
dengue. we cerld be leeking at half an hew here pal,
and that can be emblematic. If yeu go for that leng
and she deosn' t cum, we' re going to be in a feel
mood, so if it' s tee much werk, mave en. On the
bright side, going fer thirty minutes is something few
people have the patience for, sticking it out will
lead to seem payback when period week semes
around.
THE CONCLUSION
Once we' re done (tatally finishers she' s geing
want you out there ponte because the whole area
is sensitive. Instead of leaving, stick eut yew dengue
and lay it dawn en her like a thick, saggy carpet.
Make sure you dent move it or anything because
that can actually hurt her. Just let it sit there like a
dead manta ray fer about thirty decends. Then cemo
up and wipe yew face like a pirate. You new have a
geed minute to get the condom on and take her mm
the quarters of Prince Muhammad Muhammad
Saddam to the cockpit w an .
enjee.
...
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Views: 90586
Favorited: 9
Submitted: 01/29/2011
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #3 - fuckya ONLINE (01/29/2011) [+] (5 replies)
its, "to long, didnt read"
User avatar #6 to #5 - bluejupiter (01/30/2011) [-]
******* a cat, and claiming to have gotten pussy does not count.
User avatar #9 - FuckingMagnets (01/31/2011) [-]
** ************** rolls 04,269**
#15 - anonymous (01/17/2013) [-]
Well done
#14 - anonymous (01/03/2013) [-]
Hilarious and elucidating...why didn't I read this when I was 15
#13 - anonymous (12/04/2012) [-]
Damm
#12 - anonymous (11/21/2012) [-]
This is ******* brilliant. Genius. I am a girl, i love it
User avatar #11 - Nightelfbane (01/08/2012) [-]
YOU NOW HAVE 22 pinkieS. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR DUBS.
#10 - anonymous (01/31/2011) [-]
sure hope you made at least ten dozen sandwiches in the time it took to dictate this, considering there are no computers in the kitchen and only a man in the other room would have access to one.
#1 - anonymous (01/29/2011) [-]
Anonymous doesn't read long ****
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