Funny Jokes Compilation. Part 2 A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local
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Funny Jokes Compilation

A man and a friend are playing golf
one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip
onto the green when he sees a long
funeral procession on the road
next to the course. He stops in
moodswing, takes off his golf cap,
closes his eyes, and bows down in
prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that
is the most thoughtful and
touching thing I have ever seen.
You truly are a kind man." The man
then replies: "Yeah, well we were
married 35 years.”
When NASA first started sending
up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ballpoint pens
would not work in zero gravity. To
combat the problem, NASA
scientists spent a decade and
billion to develop a pen that writes
in zero gravity, upside down,
underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at
temperatures ranging from below
freezing to 300 C. The Russians
used a pencil.
A general noticed one of his
soldiers behaving oddly. The
soldier would pick up any piece of
paper he found, frown and say:
That' s not it" and put it down
again. This went on for some time,
until the general arranged to have
the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that
the soldier was deranged, and
wrote out his discharge from the
army. The soldier picked it up,
smiled and said: "That' s it."
A woman gets on a bus with her
baby. The bus driver says: "That' s
the ugliest baby that I' ever
seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the
rear of the bus and sits down,
fuming. She says to a man next to
her: "The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: "You go right up
there and tell him off - go ahead,
I' ll hold your monkey for you.”
Watson, look up at the sky and tell
me what you see."
I see millions and millions of stars,
Holmes," replies Watson.
And what do you deduce from
Watson ponders for a minute.
Well, astronomically, it tells me
that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that
Saturn is in Leo. Topologically, I
deduce that the time is
approximately a quarter past
Methodologically, I suspect that
we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. Ecologically, I can see
that God is all powerful and that
we are a small and insignificant
part of the universe. What does it
tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment.
Watson, you idiom." he says.
Someone has stolen our tent!”
Thank you for viewing'. Now please
take a second of yout time to
thumb up...
Oh and remember, you don' t have
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Views: 33887
Favorited: 136
Submitted: 12/29/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#8 - Murcielago (12/30/2010) [+] (11 replies)
The pencil one wouldn't work, because
a. Important space travel records can't be erasable.
b. When pencils write, they are actually leaving behind thousands of tiny graphite crystals that stick in place on the paper. In zero gravity, the letters would simply float off the page.
#113 - itsjustthechad **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#102 - Javapenguin ONLINE (12/30/2010) [+] (2 replies)
#40 - TrashBag (12/30/2010) [-]
Comment Picture
#56 - Revolutie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (7 replies)
#57 to #56 - sookmaybowls (12/30/2010) [-]
why is it that when any time somone says "God", somone in the comments get's their knickers in a twist?
#51 - grantika (12/30/2010) [+] (1 reply)
#32 - LOLcop (12/30/2010) [-]
Comment Picture
#127 - durkadurka (12/30/2010) [+] (2 replies)
And now the US has an awesome pen that writes in zero-G. The Russians still have pencils.

U mad Russia?
#42 - LAWLASAURUS (12/30/2010) [-]
you read the last part in his voice.
User avatar #119 - LazyLosLobos (12/30/2010) [-]
As I lay on my bed, gazing up at the clouds, I can't help but wonder...

...Why the hell is there a hole in my roof?
#27 - CaptainObviousMan (12/30/2010) [-]
Interesting Fact: NASA used pencils at first. A separate company actually made the zero gravity pen and then marketed it to NASA. Afterwards, both the Russian and American space programs adopted the pen.
User avatar #132 - retoastpolice (12/30/2010) [-]
1. Take reposted jokes
2. Put reposted jokes in compilation
3. ??????
4. FRONT PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!
#1 - rattleandhum (12/29/2010) [-]
#95 - InfinityDream (12/30/2010) [+] (5 replies)
The 						****					 is all this text?!?
The **** is all this text?!?
#80 - TheUsername (12/30/2010) [+] (3 replies)
Too bad pencils can't write on glass.
#25 - BrokenFace (12/30/2010) [-]
Heard them all before...
#34 - thewhitebrazilian (12/30/2010) [-]
the second one isn't a joke
User avatar #26 - SuttBex ONLINE (12/30/2010) [-]
Ball point pens do work in zero gravity, the guy who said they didn't probably just had a dodgy pen, it's not like they never break on earth. Also, you can't use a pencil because little bits of graphite, sharpenings, broken tips & dust from it gets into the delicate equipment and shorts the circuits rendering the shuttle useless until all the gear is cleaned and repaired.
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