The Funniest Joke in the U. S.
At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: "Major Barry, what the
devil' s wrong with Sergeant Jones' platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about."
Well sir," says Major Barry after a moment of observation. "There seems to be a weasel chomping on his
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the
green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in moodswing, takes off
his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and
touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married
The Funniest Joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in
zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and billion to develop a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures
ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
The Funniest Joke in Austria
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor,
take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and
frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this
look on my face! What' s WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says'. "Well, I can tell you that there ain' t
nothing wrong with your eyesight...”
The Funniest Joke in Belgium.
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
The Funniest Joke in Germany
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found,
frown and say: "That' s not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to
have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote
out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That' s it."
Who' s there?