A Winners Guide to QWOP
QWOP, if by chance you haven' t
heard of it, is a game about
endurance. Due to the clear athletic
nature of the game, this statement
may have brought to mind: Muscular
QWOP is about how many failures
you, as the player, are able to endure
before violently obliterating either
your computer, or yourself.
I have been playing and analyzing the
mechanics of QWOP in order to bring
you this guide. Hopefully, after reading
through this guide and developing your
own strategies, you will be able to
finish this grueling dash, and put
an end to all of your pathetic self
Let' s start with the basics.
Your first step toward success in
QWOP will be to yourself
with the controls
You' re going to want to start by
getting into a stance we call "The
F V I. e metres
Now that you' re looking like a true Olympian,
it' s time to get you moving! In order to run in
QWOP you must hold down the W button and
frequently tap Q. This action will get your
knee to catch with the ground, propelling you
slightly forward. Repeat this tecnique enough
and you' ll eventually cross the finish line like
the hero you are.
F F 48. 7 metres
Not a big deal, push the bitch over and keep
I LT a Scooting
9 NATIONAL HERO 9
you ran to the end of the track !
in the end, you went:
press space to restart
Congratulations! You just beat QWOP. Take a
picture so you can impress all of your friends.
Hell, save it as your desktop background so you
always remember the moment you became a
professional fucking athlete.