San ta Before His Intervention
A Short Documentary
J It seemed like the fame finally took its toll
3 on good old St. Nick. He was found selling
him self for crack and alcohol en a warm
June night in 1999. Rock bottom was a dirty
place called home. But what happened to
our beloved Father Christmas?
It all started in July of 1997. When he was .1.
arrested for dressing up like Santa in July.
He tried to explain that he was the Real
Santa Clause and he was just bared of
spending all his time in the North Pole. The I
cops laughed and started beating him like a ' .
black guy on crack. He was never the same. I!’
He was found guilty of disturbing
the peace and child molestation.
He claimed he was just trying to
get them to sit on his lap and tell
him what they wanted for
Christmas. This did not help. Santa
was held for two months then
deported to the North Pole for not
having proper documentation
That year Christmas was not l ' ''.* /
forget about the two months of (l') ET "he.
nightly rape attempts and lid - It' eri,
constant senseless beatings. iii; . "!
Not even the criminals , "
believed he was Santa.
By January 1998 Santa was
involved in various sexual orgies
with elves, dwarfs, snowmen and
college girls. Production ofthis
seized when Santa ordered the toy
shop be converted into a Meth lab.
Mrs. Santa left the North Pole to
live with her sister.
After her departure Santa Clause seemed to
have lost his mind. He went to Mrs. Santa' s
sister' s house and held a door to door sales
man at gun point thinking that he had to
come to visit Mrs. Santa Clause. He accused
her of cheating, calling her various terms for
the word whore and shot the salesman on
To be continued,