Jokes Compilation 2

What's the difference between pink and purple?

before and after

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

A black guy knew he had it made when the old brass bottle he found in the back yard turned out to have a genie in it. Any three wishes he had would be granted, the genie informed him.

"I wanna be rich," said the black man. The back yard filled up with chests of gold coins and jewels in the blink of an eye.

"I'm no fool," said the black man. "I wanna be white." And there he stood, white, blonde-haired and blue-eyed.

"Thirdly, I never want to work another day in my life." And he was black again.

How does a blind man know when to stop wiping his ass?

Correction:
20) The pinky toe is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

WHY MUST YOU MOCK MY PEOPLE?!?!

pretty every one of those one-liners is (or is now going to be) a "like" page on facebook

a man goes to the doctor. He says i have some bad news and worse news. Wat's the bad news?
U have 24 hours to live.
Wats the worse news?
I forgot to tell u yesterday.

The last comment is from Fallout 3 :D

War... War never Changes

90% of theses are stephen wright jokes

can't beat em, eat em

worth the read.

Are you familiar with chain of command? It's the chain I'm gonna beat you with until you under stand who's in charge around here.

*Chewbacca

i think 34 is meant to be
an irish person can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip