APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE ms be Incomplete and rejected mess accompanied by a complete statement,
mo destory‘ Ingage, and current medical reporter's your doctor
DATE CF BIRTH
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES
Do you have parents?
DRIVERS LICENSE ti
rs one mare and the ? _yes _No
rt no explan
Number of years they have been married
rt less than your age, explan
A Do you own or have access to a Van?
c A waterbeds
D A promo wrth a mattress m the back?
E A tattoo?
F Do you have an earring‘ nose rang‘
owned tongue, owned cheek or a berry button rang?
IF YOU ANSWERED YES‘ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY I SUGGEST RUNNING)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE' mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON‘ T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER‘ mean to you?
In 50 words or less, what does 'A% TENANCE' mean to you?
When wouid be the bestirred to interview your
Answer by tarring m the blank Diease , arr answers
A If I were shot, the Ast place I wouid want be
B If I were beaten, the Ast bone I wouid want broken rs my
c ‘ 5 place rs rathe
D The one r hope tnns does not ask me about rs
E What do you want to do F you grow up?
F When r meet a girl, the r always notace about rs
F What rs the current goong rate of a hoter room?
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST CF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY CF DEATH, L) ,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE‘ CRUCIFIXION‘ ELECTRA) CUTIE) N, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE‘ AND/ OR RED HOT POKERS
Apparant' s Signature (that means sign your name, moroni)
Mother' s Signature Father' s Signature
Teacher' s Signature of Oaths
Thank you foryour Interest, and rt had better be genuine and monosexual
Diease arrow tomato my years tor
you be contacted m writing reyou are approved Diease do not try to cal ornate whee
you probably cant, and rewound cause you rariry) rt your rs rejected, you be
named by two weaing warte hes carrying cases (you mrtnt watch your back)
To brebgoe yourself, start studying Daddy‘ 5 Rules tor Dating
Daddy: was for Dating
rt you burr rato my driveway and how youd better be derpykong a package, because youre sure not braking anytihng up
you do not touch my daughter m from of me you may France at ler, so rong as you do not peer at anytihng below W neck rt you cannot keep your eyes or nants on
of my Daughter' s body, r remove them
ram aware that rt rs considered tor boys of your age to so rookery that they be tarring ottenere was Diease dont take tnns as
an Insult, but you and arr are complete mots Stil, r want to be tan and open mended about tnns Issue, so r propose tnns compromise you may come to
the your underwear snowing and your pants ten sues too big, and r not object However, m order's ensure that your domes do not, m tact come on during
the course of your date wrth my daughter, r take my erectin nal gun and fasten securely m place to
m sure youve been toad that In today' s world, Sex without a Earner method‘ of some Land can WI you Let me elaborate, when t comes to sex, I am the
banner, and I WI you
t rs usually understood that m us to get to know each other, we should tak about sports, Domes‘ and other issues of the day Diease do not do tnns The only
r tenure from you rs an of when you expect to have my daughter batery back at my louse, and the only word r need from you on tnns subject rs
r have no doubt you are a , wrth many opportunism to date other ms rs tine wrth me as rong as rt rs okay wrth my daughter ‘ once you
have gone out wrth my We girl, you continue to date no one but W she rs wrth you rt you make W cu, r make you cry
As you stand m my front caraway‘ warring tor my appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sign and target rt you want to be on trane tortie snorre‘
you should not be dating My daughter rs buttong on W makeup, a brocest than can take rangersfan the Gorden Sate Bridge instead jfrost standing there,
why dont you do sometihng useful, Ike changing the ori m my car?
The places are not abbreviate tor a date wrth my daughter Places where there are beds, sot's, or anytihng a wooden stoor Places where there
rs darkness Places where there rs dancing, nerding lands, or fappiness Places where the ambient temperature rs warm enougn to reduce my wear
shorts, tanktops, T's/ ure, or anytihng otherthan overalls, a sweater, and a goose down Parka - moped up to cutthroat Moms wrth a strong romantic or sexual
themes are to be waded, feature warn saws are okay Hockey games are okay tom nomes are better
Do not to me r may be a pommelled, baang, , dimwitted hasbeen But on issues relating to my daughter, r am the , merciless
god of your rt r ask you where you are goong and wrth whom, you have one chance to tel me the truth, the whole truth and notihng but the truth r have a shotgun,
a shovel, and We acres banend the louse Do not tretre wrth me
Be ward Be Very ward t takes Very We tor me to mistake the sound of your car m the driveway tor a chopper coming m over a me baddy near Hana When my
Agent orange starts acting up, the forces m my head me to clean the guns as r to brang my daughter nome As soon as you burr rato the
driveway you should getthe both nants m plan srgnt speakie benotter password, announce m a that you have brought my daughter nome
batery and early, men return to your can there rs no need foryou to come reside The camouflaged tam at the window rs