Best Version of the Bible
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iwant to read the bible, but I can' t be bothered.
Give me the basic gist of it?
Gaels a fag, jesus dies.
Just M whatever Pat Robertson tells we to M.
it' s much all that tedious "reading". Especially if we' re going to be difficult
and "think" abaut what we' re reading.
Old Testament: Gad creates the universe and he sees it and it' s serious business, but then Satan pretends to
be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple er " (cuz she was already shewing tits). She cheeses the
farmer and then her and buddy: Adam get b. skyrem Eden tor being trc) . Then a let serious fucking
incest occurs. and we get the human race [which explains a at, really).
Then later, Gad gets mar pissed abaut Pharaoh Hitler paining the Jews, he gives Moses same cheat cedes
forthe universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and evens up the sea the Jews can run through,
closing it behind him and drawning the ancient Nazis. Gad iei' d.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed a bunch gofaggots writing ema poetry abaut Gad
tor him to tap to.
New Testament: Bedtime Mary sleeping andjust sticks the tip in and crops his lead. Nine months later, Jesus is
barn. For his 13th birthdays, Gad gave Jesus mere cheat cedes than he gave Maces, plus the men tor
life, and same .
Later, Jesus became. a hard care SHE: punk and trailed the aid school Jews hard. They got Super pissed and
him with a crass and same nine inch nails. he had ged made turned an though, he
waited 3 days and hit vid_ restart an the men panel, came back: into life' s server, and laughed at the Jews.
Otherthan, 3 mere guvs tell the same story, then this fagget Paul wrote an asshead shit abaut sex being evil
and a bunch other stuff moterfucking said but listened to Paul anyway because they' re
itsjust like Star Wars, ceb: Jesus instead Luke