Jokes. Funny Jokes 2<br /> funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1130290/Funny+Jokes+2/. FUNNY JOKES A client of a hospital where they made brain trans plantations
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FUNNY JOKES
A client of a hospital where they made brain
trans plantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this . D. brain costs , 000.
This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs
000. Here we have a blonde' s brain as well. It
costs , 000."
The client asked, "What? How' s that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it' s totally unused."
A man walks into a very posh Rodeo
Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on
his arm.
Show the lady your finest mink!" the
fellow exclaims. So the owner of the
shop goes in the back and comes out
with an absolutely gorgeous
coat.
As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles
up to the guy and discreetly
whispers,
Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for
No problem! I' ll write you a check!"
Very good, sir." says the shop owner.
Today is Saturday. You may come by on
Monday to pick it up, after the check has
cleared."
So the man and the woman leave. On
Monday, the fellow returns. The store
owner is outraged: "How dare you
show your face in here?! There wasn' t a
single Penny in your checking account!!"
I just had to come by," grinned the guy,
to thank you for the most wonderful
weekend of my life!"
The teenager lost a contact lens while
playing basketball in his
driveway. After a fruitless search, he
told his mother the lens
was no where to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a
few minutes returned with the
lens in her hand.
How did you manage to find it, Mom?"
the teenager asked.
We weren' t looking for the same
thing," she replied. "You were
looking for a small piece of plastic. I
was looking for ."
The new Supermarket near our house has an
automatic water mister to keep the produce
fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the
sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of
fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases,
you hear cows mooing and witness the scent
of fresh butter fat. When you approach the
egg case, you hear hens cackle and the air is
filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the
toilet paper aisle.
God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist
says to Him, "Lord, we don' t need you
anymore. Science has finally figured out a
way to create life out of nothing. In other
words, we can now do what you did in the
beginning'."
Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.
Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt
and form it into the
likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus
creating man."
Well, that' s interesting. Show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth
and starts to mold the soil.
Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your
own dirt."
On August 17, 2006 the famous Trix
rabbit finally got the children' s cereal he
so craved, and was able to eat it without
anyone stopping him. Within minutes, he
went into toxic shock and died.
Unbeknownst to him, many ingredients in
the cereal were poisonous to rabbits.
We tried again and again to warn him,"
said a little girl named Ashley
Murphy while fighting back tears, "Trix
are for kids. He must have thought we
were Just being mean."
We heard a horrible gurgling sound, and
ran into the room. The poor guy was
turning every color of the rainbow, was
breaking out in hives, and struggling to
breathe. He then started convulsing",
said General Mills employee Billy Smith.
By the time the veterinarian ambulance
arrived, it was tool late. He was already
gone."
The rabbit was Just a little bunny when
he first auditioned for the role of the Trix
Cereal off ial mascot on August 4, 1959.
It was his first, and only job. He had Just
observed his anniversary
with General Mills, and plans for his
fiftieth were already being discussed.
Now, it will never happen. The silly rabbit
will be sorely missed.
if i get good response on this one ill make
more for you guys
Eggs
...
+226
Views: 12750
Favorited: 35
Submitted: 10/27/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
-16
#1 - KoreanTiger **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (13 replies)
User avatar #3 to #1 - Eggs (10/27/2010) [-]
shove a tampon up your ass
User avatar #2 - Fapilackin (10/27/2010) [+] (3 replies)
I Have a joke: A father once told his kid " son, masturbating can make you go blind". The kid replied" Dad, im over here".
User avatar #22 - DietWater (10/28/2010) [-]
for the grocery store one.... don't go anywhere near the condom/tampon section....
User avatar #13 - TheBaconMessiah (10/28/2010) [+] (6 replies)
i dont get the second one
User avatar #20 to #18 - Eggs (10/28/2010) [-]
unlike you lol
#39 - jalthelas ONLINE (10/28/2010) [-]
**jalthelas rolls 4,832** check this out!

I roll like 3,333 or something.


#8 - confusingcircles (10/28/2010) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #40 - tehee (10/28/2010) [+] (1 reply)
i know ill sound really dumb but i don't get the 150$ dollar one.
#36 - biggGames (10/28/2010) [-]
MOAR
User avatar #25 - EjPzycho (10/28/2010) [-]
your tool late
User avatar #24 - iamtheanonymouse (10/28/2010) [-]
you can witness the scent of eggs frying?
User avatar #28 - THEChiizu (10/28/2010) [-]
favorite: toilet paper isle
#27 - Womens Study Major (10/28/2010) [-]
my only experience of witnessing any sort of sent has been through ingesting lsd
User avatar #10 - shadowofnight (10/28/2010) [-]
i enjoyed this....
User avatar #6 - JoeTheBadass (10/27/2010) [-]
like this a lot.
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