Shit Happens!. IF YOU LIKED IT PLEASE HELP US GET IT TO NUMBER 1. These people prove It Isa terminal . , competetion thas year has been keen, The year Elg hth P
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Shit Happens!

IF YOU LIKED IT PLEASE HELP US GET IT TO NUMBER 1

These people prove It Isa terminal . , competetion thas year has been keen, The year
Elg hth Place In Detroit, a man got stuck and drowned In two feet of water after squeeling head through
an sewer grate to retrieve hls oar keys,
Seventh Place A San Fra nelson , who ‘totally zoned when he ran," Isolde off a 100-
foot high hls dam run,
Slam Place Walle at the beach, Daniel .Jones, , dug an S foot hole for from the blnd and had been slating In
a beach the bottom when , burying hlm beneath 5 feet offend. People on the beach used thell
hands and shovels tryong to get hlm out not reach hlm. It took rescue workers using heavy
an hokuto free hlm. Jones was pronounced dead ata hospital.
Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was kalled as he fell through the belling ofa shop he was . Death
was caused when the long highlight he had placed In hls mouth to keep hls hands free rammed Into the base of hls
skull as he hlt the floor,
Fourth Place Sylvester , m, 26, was kalled as he won a bet wath talents who sald he would not put a revolver
loaded wath four bullets Into hls mouth and pull the tragger.
Therd Place around a marked pollie patrol oar parked at the front door, a man walked Into Haul Leather's
Firearms Attenton robbing the store. The shop was full and a unlearned standing at the counter.
Upon sellng the officer, the a hrad a few wlod shots from a target pistol. The
a clerk promptly returned frerard several customers also drew and hrad, The robbery's
pronounced dead at the some by Para medals. Calme some Investigators Irrated 47 expended cartridge oases In the
shop, The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics Ide nilled rounds from T dlf% rent weapons. No
one else was hurt,
HONORABLE MENTION Paul , , and hls plfe Sonnie were around ata AM. so they Alta
quarter strok of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen, Apparently they falled to netloq the window
nasalised.
RUNNER UP Kerry Singham had been wath several talents when one ofthem sald they knowa person who
had from a bridge In the meddle of traff, The conve grew more heated and at least IO men
moped along the walkway ofthe bridge at 4: 30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint ofthe bridge they descovered that no
one had brougham bungee rope. Singham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out mate eoll of
Lineman‘ seabee lay near by, They seemed one end around leg and the bed the othello the bridge. Hls fall
lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore hls foot offah the ankle, He miraculously survived hls fall Into the
water and was rescued by two nearby hshc mien. Eng ha m' s foot was never Irrated.
AND THE WINNER IS... loo keeper Friedrich f Fade morn, Sienna rm fed hls gonsta pated elephant 22 doses of
anamal laxative and more than a bushel of be riles, hgs and prunes before the Pachyderm heally got relief.
Investigators say Allocated to gave the allong elephant's oleve ml enema when the relieved
beast unloaded. The sheer mm of the elepha nts unexpected defecation knocked Mr, to the ground where he
struck hls head on a rook as the to evacuate 200 pounds oading on top . It becuse
one of those freak Isolde Ms that proves... ' **** happens"
...
+73
Views: 29597
Favorited: 40
Submitted: 12/11/2009
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Comments(71):

[ 71 comments ]

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#12 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (2 replies)
...I'm too lazy to read this. Please read it for me.
#15 to #12 - niala (12/11/2009) [-]
That explains why you dropped out of school.
#5 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
*Driving around*

Hey I'm bored, honey you wanna grab some of that dynamite in the glovebox?
#17 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (6 replies)
i got half to way a said **** reading the rest
#18 to #17 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
Excuse me? I have no idea what you just said. Maybe it's because you can't speak English that you are unable to read the whole thing. That, or a lazy dumbass.
User avatar #2 - MrRambow (12/11/2009) [+] (2 replies)
it sucks that people die horrible deaths (even if it is thier own faults because of their own stupidity)

but thankfully they wont be contributing to the gene pool and screwing up the population in the future...
#1 - Lookinatstuff (12/11/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Darwin strikes again!
#6 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (4 replies)
i HATE THESE!

They take sooo long to read!
User avatar #8 to #7 - pluto (12/11/2009) [-]
Spelling congratulations wrong proves you are also an idiot.
#23 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
I feel bad for the guy who got covered in crap...
The rest of them were doing stupid **** and deserved to die(with the exception of the runner)
The guy at the zoo was just doing his job
#3 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (1 reply)
and you think im gonna read that...
User avatar #13 to #3 - BurntBiscuits (12/11/2009) [-]
No, of course not! This is for people with brains larger than a grape. Total idiots, such as yourself, are just expected to leave the odd comment proving your idiocy and then go on their way.
#51 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
This might only work if you have seen the dark knight movie
Close your eyes,
put out your hands, lick your arm
spin around and do the chicken dance (you grandmother can join in too!),
paste this on 3 pics, gifs whatever
wait 30 second....
and guess what.....

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN
#4 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
The honorable mention in just an EPIC FAIL
User avatar #37 - PoisinSandwich (12/11/2009) [-]
The winner should have done a barrel roll to avoid the upcoming downpour of crap.
#53 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (5 replies)
I didn't click thumbs up or down cause i like it, but it isn't funny, people dieing isn't funny
#56 to #55 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
Your answer is invalid.
#32 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (7 replies)
Hello ******* ! You are all stupid haters.The Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber are the greatest musicians ever you ********* . Twilight saga is the 3 best movies on the world just get over it
BTW FAT BEN MADE POOP
POOP IS EVERYWHERE
SUCK MY DICK FAGS!
#40 to #32 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [-]
obvious troll is obvious
#39 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (2 replies)
lol dude jonas brothers doesn't even perform, they were found in a live performance, performing without their instruments hooked and da singer lip-sinking lmao. its pathetic.
#44 to #39 - niala (12/11/2009) [-]
What does that have to do with anything?
#31 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (4 replies)
surprise surprise..
all men.
#46 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (1 reply)
4th place... WHAT A ******* DUMBASS
#69 - anonymous (12/12/2009) [+] (1 reply)
FAT BEN MADE POOP
#70 to #69 - anonymous (12/12/2009) [-]
omg, people, whoops, i mean dickheads, are still doing that
get a life
User avatar #42 - SeekayFilms (12/11/2009) [+] (2 replies)
Wait, "help us get into the top 15"? Who's the "us" in that statement? Only you benefit from people getting you into the top 15.
User avatar #27 - Monopolus (12/11/2009) [-]
Are you kidding me? I scroll down and see 5 different comments about people too lazy to read the whole thing? Grow up, it's funny if you actually try to read it.
#10 - anonymous (12/11/2009) [+] (1 reply)
i like how this is on funnyjunk either people are sick and demented and are laughing at peoples deaths or there just plain idiots most likely both
User avatar #28 to #10 - shlacka (12/11/2009) [-]
You just called yourself sick, demented, and an idiot. lol
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