Breaking Dawn. Apparently the director may not film it do to the up things that happen. I say film it, this may be the only Twilight movie that OTHER people mig
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Breaking Dawn

Apparently the director may not film it do to the ****** up things that happen. I say film it, this may be the only Twilight movie that OTHER people might be interested in.

MEYER
So it all starts out with Bella and Edward finally getting
married and going on their honeymoon in Brazil. Edward, a
vampire as we all know, goes snorkeling. I' never heard er
seen a vampire snorkel. Bella wants to have Edward' s baby,
but he doesn' t want to hurt her (because he' s a strong
vampire and stuff]. Edward finally gives in and ***** Bella
into , . Then she ***** him again until she
gets pregnant. The baby grows incredibly fast inside her,
and it is hurting her. Did i mention the baby can speak
through telepathy? The baby kicks so hard it breaks Bella' s
ribs and snaps her spine. Eventually Edward gets scared
about the baby, and wants Bella to get an abortion, but she
does not. When the baby comes, Edward decides to give her
a bisection, WITH HIS ******* FAN" GS. A
************* BISECTION WITH HIS TEETH. So the
baby' s born, Bella becomes a vampire, and then a better
thing comes. J acab (The werewolf guy) falls in love with the
baby. I dona mean he thinks it' s cute, he wants to **** the
baby. So basically the movie would consist of:
Beastly, painful sex
Telepathic babies
Chrestions with teeth
A Werewolf with an urge to **** a baby
...
+130
Views: 57704
Favorited: 62
Submitted: 12/09/2009
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Comments(213):

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#221 - anonymous (12/27/2009) [-]
"Y'all" need to learn how to spell and type properly, before you call other people "idiots".

... F'king dumbasses...

I couldn't care less what the book is really about. This crap is funny, and if you don't think so, well... you're probably a Twilight fan.
#223 to #221 - anonymous (01/23/2010) [-]
Since when is ******* spelled with an apostrophe?
#218 - anonymous (12/13/2009) [-]
the baby kicked one spine and Edward got scared, and said,
"I'm gonna cut your body open with my teeth, be prepared"
0
#217 - anonymous Comment deleted by Stalin [-]
#213 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
now that somthin i would watch
#212 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
whoever made this must have read the book or somthing on it my heart goes out to you for making the ultimate sacrafice! you have my sympathy..
User avatar #210 - Zane (12/10/2009) [-]
Sounds like 4chans ******** all rolled up into a 2 hour film.
#206 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
can someone explain to me WHY THE **** THIS IS FUNNY!?!
#205 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
now i want to see the movie even more lol
+6
#203 - TheTas **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #201 - Jeronimo (12/10/2009) [-]
wow that means my girlfriends an ass
#197 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
thats because some idiots posted it on wiki. duh ya dumass
#194 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
i wuz lik no way so i looked it up wiki AND THATS JUST WHAT HAPPENS no wai.
#193 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
Yay. More twilight on funnyjunk.
#192 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
Okay. I read the books, because you can't hate something you don't know about, and pretty much all of what he said is changed. Edward doesn't snorkle, Bella does, Edward doesn't need to breathe. Bella didn't want Edwards baby, she just wanted to get laid before she was a vampire... They didn't know vampires could have kids (only male vampires and female girls can). He did not **** her 'unconious'. The baby can't speak through telepathy, Edward can read minds... The baby was progressing so fast, he could read her mind before she was born. But not straight away. The baby breaks her spine WHEN it's coming, Edward has no choice but to give a c-section with his teeth... It's the only thing that will cut through the hard 'shell' thing. And lastly
-6
#208 to #192 - TheTas **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#214 to #208 - LiamYanner (12/10/2009) [-]
I meant I could twist the whole plot summary of any book to make it sound worse than it really is. I don't care what you say about the Saga, it just annoys me when you change the plot, people believe you, then you base your arguments on what has been made up.
#219 to #214 - anonymous (12/14/2009) [-]
I dare you to twist The Dark Elf trilogy's plot or any other book by R.A. Salvatore.

You can't, you know why? because those are actually good books.

And before you say anything, yes, I read the whole four books of the Twilight saga, so I actually know what I'm talking about.
User avatar #225 to #219 - legacyofkain (04/06/2010) [-]
you are either gay,or you made the ultimate sacrifice for the real vampire ****** (not the twifags). i will believe the latter. you will be treated as a hero by me
#199 to #192 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
[Last 2 posters] 'unconscious'*
#195 to #192 - LiamYanner (12/10/2009) [-]
Jacob does not want to ' ***** the child (Renesmee), he will care for her like a guardian or an older brother, until she get's older. He doesn't even think like that once (Edward reads thoughts). Also, she'll be full grown in 6 years. So it's actually nothing like this. Make fun of it, but don't twist the whole plot in the attempt. I could do that with any book to.
#211 to #195 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
why defend such a silly thing? did the mean people at funnyjunk hurt your wittle feelings?
#190 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
Yall are idiots. its rele a good book if you read it. hell, i could give you a hundred other books with the same things in it that are really good reading. It is NOT a PEDO WHERE WOLF. It is love, but that love, is for a sister or ones child. NOT a **** toy. It gives very little detail about the sex, but just enough info to know it happens, hence you find out how a baby is there. And its not telepathy. Edwards reads mind, hears thoughts. His child is NO different. And she comminicates by mind like her father. shows pictures and what not. The c section. Hello, he is a vampire with teeth that cut through rock, so skin a muscle is easy and he saved her didnt he? i mean hell, a knife wouldnt ****** work. Now why dont you idiots learn to read!
#196 to #190 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
you just justified all the pedofiles in history by calling it *love* well pedo-bear loves nothing but young ****** so get it straight ******** !
#202 to #196 - LiamYanner (12/10/2009) [-]
He meant that Jacob didn't want to sleep with the baby once. He loved her which wasn't his fualt, it's a shapeshifter thing (they aren't werewolfs, they're shapeshifters, they just call themselves werewolves). He was just waiting until she was older so he could be with her, without 1 thought about sex at all. That's not being a ********* .
#220 to #202 - anonymous (12/15/2009) [-]
thank you! gah aint ppl idiots?! and im the one that left comment 190. im a girl. lol
#224 to #220 - JxaXax **User deleted account** (03/12/2010) [-]
learn how to ******* type
User avatar #226 to #224 - legacyofkain (04/06/2010) [-]
better yet,learn how to distinguish a crappy series from a decent or good series. twilight=bad. legacy of kain+darren shan=good
#186 - OsamaBinLlama (12/10/2009) [-]
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




............they get to go brazil?
#183 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
Omfg I just read the wikipedia plot summary... idk about the c-section but literally the rest of this is true...
#182 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
thats jacked i mmean al twilight is but a pedo werewolf thats even more jacked up
User avatar #179 - iProcrastinate (12/10/2009) [-]
THAT SOUNDS EVEN WORSE THAN SOME OF THE MAY SUE'S FANFICTIONS OUT HERE IN THE MOTHERF*CKING WEB!!!! XP XP XP

WORSE THAN SOMEONE ACTUALLY WRITING IS HAVING IT PUBLISHED!!! HOW CAN A PUBLISHER EVEN THINK OF RELEASING THAT ABORTION INTO THE PUBLIC AND IMPRESSIONABLE THIRTHEEN YEAR OLD GIRLS?!?!?!?! NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE'LL HAVE GIRLS FANTASISING ABOUT A C-SECTION WITH THEIR THEETH!!!
#178 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
The new twilight series quote "Where a teen girl must choose between ********** or hemophillia." how fitting
#180 to #178 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
fail, its ********** and necrophillia.
#189 to #180 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
You fail as well my good sir. A necrophiliac is someone who has sex with dead corpses. The word you might be looking for is a ********* .
#198 to #189 - LiamYanner (12/10/2009) [-]
No... Because Edward is technically dead, so it's necrophilia. Bella is over 18, so he's not a ********* .
0
#209 to #198 - TheTas **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#204 to #198 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
no...they aren't talking about Bella they are talking about Jacob and renesmee, even though jacob is only 16.
#187 to #180 - anonymous (12/10/2009) [-]
umm... no
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