Bram Stoker vs. Stephanie Meyer. I'm not trying to be a thumbs up whore. I just want to see how many people agree the Bram Stoker is a genius and Stephanie Meye Bram Stoker stephanie meyer  dracula twilight is gay Edward Cullen is Fuck Stephanie
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Bram Stoker vs. Stephanie Meyer

Bram Stoker vs. Stephanie Meyer. I'm not trying to be a thumbs up whore. I just want to see how many people agree the Bram Stoker is a genius and Stephanie Meye

I'm not trying to be a thumbs up whore. I just want to see how many people agree the Bram Stoker is a genius and Stephanie Meyer is a dumb bitch who should not be called an author.

Both peeple Gown here are authors that wrote a novel abaut vampires. Cine of them was sophisticated, dramatic, and full of literary
elements that take deep thaught to full understand. The other is shallower love story saying girls will arways be dependent en guys, and
takes no thaught whatsoever to full understand this "novel", Cine invented the vampire; and ene took the vampire name drastically
changes it and calls it her even "imaging", while still calling it a vampire. [Last time I checked that' s copyright infringement.) Cine is
studied in school and by scholars and appreciated by teachers. The other distracts ene from school work and creates a fantasy world that
causes ene to get in fights (girls have been suspended fighting ever the book) Cine of the peeple Gown here is a real author, and ene is a
dumb bitch that wishes she could be an auther. If you were net able to guess before; the ene en the left is Bram Stoker, and the ene the
right is Stephanie Meyer It saddens me that peeple call Stephanie Meyer an auther. I wish Twilight never exicited,
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Submitted: 12/08/2009
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #228 - Wesker (12/08/2009) [-]
Those Twilight vampire pussies will feel the wrath of Count Dracula's pimphand.
#237 to #228 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
And You Sir Have Won The Game.
#234 to #228 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
You, my good sir, deserve a ******* medal. :D
#136 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
i don't blame any of the actors in the twilight film, they're just doing what any actor is doing: working, they're doing their job and i respect that. but i do blame stephanie meyer for writing the crappest series ever, and raping the image of the vampire. bram stoker is way better.
P.S. quite a good vampire story is "my swordhand is singing" (you understand the title as you near the ending.) it uses the origional old image of the vampire as being more zombie-like, rising from the grave and then having to return before sunrise. if you have the chance to read it, do it.
User avatar #301 - Kanye (12/08/2009) [-]
Yo Stephanie I'm really hating you and I'm not gonna let you finish, Bram Stoker had the best vampire novel of ALL TIME!!
Just sayin'
#309 to #301 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
+1 internetz
#310 to #301 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
#231 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Well, although most of this pic is very much true, there is one thing that it left out. Before you hate, I'm a guy, I think the novels suck monkey testicles, Edward Cullen is a pussy faggot who sparkles (yipee), and the fans are crazy nutcases who can't get a fictional character pushed out of their heads.

About the fans:

Stephanie Meyer hates her fans. She openly said this and this is why she killed off Edward in the last book because she wanted to be done with the series. At a Q&A all the freaks asked about was what would happen if Bella was on her period.

About the book:

She didn't expect the book to take off the way it did. She just wanted to write a novel for fun tweaking the vampire character as a whole but failed miserably.
#248 to #231 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Although I agree with you that the books are terrible and the fans are ******* insane, I must /facepalm at the horrendous ignorance you provide in your post. Firstly, Meyer loves having fans. She says something nice about them in almost every single ******** interview she gets with a reporter(s). Secondly, she didn't kill off Edward in the last book. You're just plain wrong on this front.

Stephanie Meyer may be a terrible author, but she's not the dumb bitch everyone here wants to make her out to be. The books are lame, the fans are atrocious to be around, but she's a pretty normal person. She just wanted to write one day, and decided to make some cash on it the next. Don't be an asshole 'cause you're on the internet.
#236 to #231 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
I agree with you about all that except for one thing. Edward does not die in the last book. Not saying that he SHOULDN'T, just that he doesn't.
#242 to #236 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
i dont even know this world anymore. twilight should be banned off the face of the earth and the use of the word twilight should be punishable by death
#246 to #242 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
unless it refers to the time of day or is followed by the word zone
User avatar #224 - Bacula (12/08/2009) [-]
Remember when vampires used to be scary?
User avatar #84 - cougarmelon (12/08/2009) [-] more twilight jokes. this one wasnt that bad because there was actually some intelligence in it. but honestly, i dont like twilight, and you dont like twilight, we have established that.there is no more reasons to bring it up anymore. lets find something else to talk **** about...seriously
#117 to #84 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
this was honestly me venting.

#130 - ClandestineCow (12/08/2009) [-]
Stoker's skill resides in his association with the great writings from the era in which he lived. Highbrow was the ONLY style back then.
#135 to #130 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
You're right. Most of today's writing is "low-brow". Meaning its so lacking in plot, thought or literary content that even todays High School graduate can read it.
#233 to #135 - ClandestineCow (12/08/2009) [-]
Here's a nice way to gauge whether someone is knowledgeable about writing: ask them if they know when to use a semicolon. That'll give you a basic idea of their intelligence.
User avatar #108 - Bacula (12/08/2009) [-]
You know, it makes sense that the worst Vampire movie of all time was created by a chick. I mean not even a Gay guy would make a Vampire Sparkle.
User avatar #272 - XxParadiseLostxX (12/08/2009) [-]
It's cute how even the people who supposedly hate twilight just can't shut the **** up about it and move on with their lives.
#277 to #272 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
actually we only do this when you don't shut the hell up about it
#99 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Sometimes I actually think stephenie meyer is some sort of twisted genius bent on destorying the world. She managed to mind control around half the females in america. If she came out with a book where edward says, "I love girls who like bombing asia.", then asia is screwed over. Do you see my point?
#32 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
twilight books are ok if you liek that kind of stuff, films...are terrible they are a phase..anyone remeber high school muscial? that was as big as twilight is a few months ago now look at it...women love twilight because it realises alot of their fantasies in film drama ( being rescued by a strong protective man etc etc etc ) and men hate twilight because then women compare us to the good looking actors in the film...which tbh degrades us, then they also compare everything we do to the actors in the film...basically thats what it boils down im not a God, im just anonymous!
User avatar #163 - Bacula (12/08/2009) [-]
Stephanie Meyer is a cunt.
#166 to #163 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
lol no ****
#162 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Im gunna write a book where Chuck Norris, Blade and Mettalica hunt down and kill every character in twilight
User avatar #171 to #162 - CommanderDarkstar (12/08/2009) [-]
Let's call it "Death of sparkle fags"
#172 to #162 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
I will BUY that book from you. Actually, I will be your PUBLISHER.
User avatar #24 - TarnRazor (12/08/2009) [-]
Usually teachers punish kids who curse at school. I was at school and I was talking to my friend and my teacher (female and 60 y o) heard me say Twilight is **** ! She came up to me and said and i quote "That doesn't deserve to be called a book, that was gag me with a spoon horrible" I guess only old women have some sense..
#459 - John Cena (12/09/2009) [-]
twilight fans might be stupid douche bags, but how are you any better by bitching about how much it sucks. Bad book...i get it. STFU
#275 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Give this and every picture below it the thumbs up. We have to knock the unfunny **** off the #1 spot.
#279 to #275 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
I'd **** her
#205 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Full is not an adverb!
#104 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
She's flippin off the TRUE history of vamps! They used to be cool before SHE came along! Next thing we know, she'll write a book mainly on werewolves, and then millions of fat, emo, depressant-pill taking 7 year old girls will draw wiccan symbols on the wall with their blood! My ex-gf dumped me for the **************************************** ! And now, MORE worse than 7 year olds spilling their blood on the walls to become a werewolf, she made almost everyone believe vampires sparkle! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
#141 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Funnyjunk need to make a special section for thumbs up whores.
#153 to #141 - BigBossAlak (12/08/2009) [-]
And a section for people who can't read because I specifically said I'm not trying to be a thumbs up whore on my description. I don't care if this gets a millions thumbs downs. I just wanted to state my opinion.
#143 to #141 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Don't thumbs him down man! I agree with him! We need to keep funnyjunk funny, but yes, there are a lot of things that are worthy of being thumbed up, that aren't funny. A different section for such things is a good idea!
#326 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
#329 to #326 - BigBossAlak (12/08/2009) [-]
That would be your opinion that no one cares about my opinion. But its a fact that 959 and counting do care. =D
#420 to #329 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
Actually, its just that 959+ people also think that twilight sucks, and just have nothing better to do than thumbs up a picture that bashes twilight. So they technically dont care about your opinion, its just they hate twilight.
User avatar #332 to #326 - Jacques Strap (12/08/2009) [-]
Amen brother!
#334 to #326 - John Cena (12/08/2009) [-]
and i agree with you
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