You knew that beek Men are trom Mars, Wemen trom Venus? Well, here' s a prime example
that. This assignment was actually turned in try two of my English students: F! ejecta (last
name deleted] and Gary (last name deleted).
First, the Assignment:
Assignment for Wednesday:
Today we will experiment with a new ferm called the tandem story. The process is simple.
Each persin will pair oft with the persin sitting to his er her immediate right. Cine you will
then write the turst paragraph a short story. The partner will read the turst paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story. The turst person will then add a third paragraph,
and en back and few. Remember to rebread what has been written each time in order to
keep the story coherent. The story is ever when beth agree a conclusion has been reached.
And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:
F! ejecta starts:
At turst, Laurie couldn' t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be
her favourite fer lazy evenings at home, now reminded her tee much of Carl, whe once said,
in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all cysts, keep her
mind oft Carl. His possessiveness was sufficating, and if she thought abaut him tee much
her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out m the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
Skylon 4, had more important things to think abaut than the neuroses an bareheaded,
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night ever a year age.
AS. Harris to 17," he said into his transatlantic communicator. "Pelaa orbit
established. No sign resistance so far..." But befire he cerld sign oft, a bluish particle
beam flashed out newhere and blasted a hole through his ship' s cargo bay. The Jolt trom
the direct hit sent him flying out his seat and acre's the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but net befire he felt one
last pang of regret tor psychologically brutalising the ene woman whe had
ever had feelings fer him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
her and bared her. She stared out the window, dreaming her youth ""
when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
read, no television to distract her trom her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lese one' s innocence to
became a weman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands miles above the
city, the Anu' Adrian mothership launched the turst of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-
witted, wimpy whe pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through
Congress had left Earth a defenceless target fer the hostile alien empires whe were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage the treaty, the
Anu' Adrian ships were on course fer Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverise the
entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his tep-
secret mobile submarine headquarters on the wean aloot" eff the cehst Guam, felt the
massive explosion which vaporised Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his llst en the conference table. "We can' t allow this! I' m going to
veto that treaty! Let' s blew 'ern out the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery literature. My writing partner is a violent,
Yeah? Well, yeu' re a , tedious neuritic whise attempts at writing are the literary