MEN AND WOMEN. . You knew that beek Men are trom Mars, Wemen trom Venus? Well, here' s a prime example that. This assignment was actually turned in try two of m
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu


Tags: kill kyle
You knew that beek Men are trom Mars, Wemen trom Venus? Well, here' s a prime example
that. This assignment was actually turned in try two of my English students: F! ejecta (last
name deleted] and Gary (last name deleted).
First, the Assignment:
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
Assignment for Wednesday:
Today we will experiment with a new ferm called the tandem story. The process is simple.
Each persin will pair oft with the persin sitting to his er her immediate right. Cine you will
then write the turst paragraph a short story. The partner will read the turst paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story. The turst person will then add a third paragraph,
and en back and few. Remember to rebread what has been written each time in order to
keep the story coherent. The story is ever when beth agree a conclusion has been reached.
And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:
F! ejecta starts:
At turst, Laurie couldn' t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be
her favourite fer lazy evenings at home, now reminded her tee much of Carl, whe once said,
in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all cysts, keep her
mind oft Carl. His possessiveness was sufficating, and if she thought abaut him tee much
her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out m the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
Skylon 4, had more important things to think abaut than the neuroses an bareheaded,
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night ever a year age.
AS. Harris to 17," he said into his transatlantic communicator. "Pelaa orbit
established. No sign resistance so far..." But befire he cerld sign oft, a bluish particle
beam flashed out newhere and blasted a hole through his ship' s cargo bay. The Jolt trom
the direct hit sent him flying out his seat and acre's the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but net befire he felt one
last pang of regret tor psychologically brutalising the ene woman whe had
ever had feelings fer him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
her and bared her. She stared out the window, dreaming her youth ""
when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
read, no television to distract her trom her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lese one' s innocence to
became a weman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands miles above the
city, the Anu' Adrian mothership launched the turst of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-
witted, wimpy whe pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through
Congress had left Earth a defenceless target fer the hostile alien empires whe were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage the treaty, the
Anu' Adrian ships were on course fer Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverise the
entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his tep-
secret mobile submarine headquarters on the wean aloot" eff the cehst Guam, felt the
massive explosion which vaporised Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his llst en the conference table. "We can' t allow this! I' m going to
veto that treaty! Let' s blew 'ern out the sky!"
F! ejecta:
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic, adolescent.
Yeah? Well, yeu' re a , tedious neuritic whise attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent Valium.
Gary: Bitch.
Views: 40779
Favorited: 65
Submitted: 12/07/2009
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to THEVILLE E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend



Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#83 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (5 replies)
Aliens are way more exciting to read about than some chick and her drama, we have drama in real life, we don't have aliens now do we.
User avatar #71 - Ruler (12/08/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Christ, I was starting to get into Gary's story.
#14 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (6 replies)
Damn. I'm a girl but this makes me wish I was from Mars...

PS. Sammiches are on the table.
User avatar #92 - Shiny (12/08/2009) [+] (3 replies)
Gary's story was actually pretty damn good. I want more.
User avatar #114 - kezdak (12/08/2009) [-]
gary deserves a medal and a sammich made by rebecca.
User avatar #104 - CrazyWhiteGurl (12/08/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Any girl who writes sh*t like that should be slapped in the face... it reminded me of that retarded Twilight drabble.
#87 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (2 replies)
(O-O) Attack squadrans? Transgalactic communicators? Particle beams(that are blue)!? Lithium fusion missiles!? Damn you Rebecca! How dare you finish the story!?!?!?!!?!?!?

#80 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
Rebbeca sounds like a total boner killer. captcha: rival
#113 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
Wow....that chick sounds like the next Stephenie Meyer about to write another book about some mopey, conceited girl who's just sad she can't get any.
#28 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
i signed up to lead, not to read
#25 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
its like stephenie meyer vs tom clancy.
User avatar #7 - DVecc (12/08/2009) [+] (4 replies)
What does it mean if I liked both stories?
#9 to #7 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
It means your gay
#33 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
LOL gary...

pondering over tea is for the weak!
User avatar #31 - Jesi (12/08/2009) [+] (2 replies)
I'm with Gary on this one. Her story was making me want to hang myself. But his was rather intriguing. I want to know what happens next!
#176 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
Holy crap, Rebecca is a good writer, but it's so freaking boring >.<... Gary's was so much better: "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" Laurie pondered wistfully....Little did she know, she had less than 10 seconds to live.

#103 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (1 reply)
now i wana know how it ends
#101 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [-]
I thought it was pretty badass!!
User avatar #77 - DerpDerpDerp (12/08/2009) [-]
Atta boy Gary!! You show that weakling what real writing is about!
#5 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (2 replies)
Gary is obviously the superior writer here, rebecca should just shut the **** up, does any one else see similarities between the writing styles of gary and the writing style of Mathew Riley?
#11 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/08/2009) [+] (1 reply)
tbh gary is a reli good writer
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)