Not Always Right 4. Number five has arrived: Cr' Behavior f For 11 days each summer Calgary goes a funny Not Always right
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Not Always Right 4

Cr' Behavior
f For 11 days each summer Calgary goes a bit crazy with The
tampere. Businesses are decorated in Did West themes, and
I bank is no exception. For the occasion we printed up
Wanted Dead or Niue' posters Featuring our manager and
certain deicers and plastered them around the . A
customer walks in, mks at the posters, mks around in alarm
t our bank manager and then sadies up to my line.)
Customer: "Are you alright? I know you can' t talk, but do you
want me to call 911?"
He: "What' s the problem ma' am?"
Customer: "Are they holding you hostage?"
Customer: "Them!" "gestures at my bank manager"
He: Crh, ma' am, they' re not criminals, they' re regular staff.
his is Stampede!"
Customer: “You shouldn' t put up posters like that. It' s like
allirog ‘Fire? in a movie theater!"
u Kon Freeze It
e: "Thank you for calling [Cell Phone Company] customer
service. How can I help you?"
aller: “You sound different. Where are you from?"
e: “Canada. Is there something I can help you with?"
aller: "Canada? How big is the igloo you work in?"
e: "Sir, we don' t live in igloos. In fact, it' s about 40“ here at
he moment."
aller: "go':' is freezing!"
e: "go':' Celsius. That' s Fahrenheit."
aller: “Ch my god, how do you keep your igloos from
Daddy' s Little Hacker
He: "Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?"
Caller: "My girlfriend didn' t get her gift, and I want to know
He: Hooking into order''' "sir, I see that we received an email
from you asking that we cancel the order, so we did."
Caller: “That' s impossible! Why would I do that? What email
address was the email from?"
f. I verify his email address. J
Caller: "Well, that' s the right address, but I didn' t send the
email, you must have done it!"
Me: “I' m sorry sir, but are you saying that I somehow hacked
into your email account?"
Caller: "Well, someone there hacked into my account!"
He: “Does anyone else know your password by any chance'?"
Caller: “No, I never give it out to anyone, that would be
He: "At this point, I' m not sure how else to look into this. If
you' re sure no one else has your password, let me get
someone in our loss prevention department involved. They me
know more. I' ll call you back when I have more information."
f. I explain this all to someone in iiss prevention and she caius
him back. Later, she teirs me what she found out. J
Loss Prevention: "Turns out his daughter canceled the order
because she doesn' t like dad' s new girlfriend."
Read Her Lips
f. I am scanning a customer' s order when I notice she is buying
a that is also being given away with a magazine J.
He: "Miss, if you' d like to buy [magazine] for . 20, you get
this exact free inside."
Customer: "But I don' t want the magazine. Ijust want the
Me: “I understand, but even if you give the magazine away,
you still get the for . 20 and save . 80."
Customer: "Do I look like a charity? I' m not going to give
away a magazine. Haven' t you heard of saving money?“
He: "Well yes, what I' m saying is you can save money by
buying the magazine-"
Customer: "stop trying to rip me off and scan my !"
f I ring up her for and she storms off. The next
customer puts the same magazine on the counter. J
Next Customer: “I don' t want it either, but I have half a
r_' forbid Curiosity Killed The Cat
f. I answer a crisis hot line for suicide, depression, drugs, any
sort of thing they want to taik about. J
Me: “Name of Crisis Line]. My name is [name]. Do you feel
comfortable sharing your first name?"
Carter:" I.‘! o people really ever call this line?"
Me: "Yes, they certainly do. What' s on your mind today?"
Caller: "Well that' s stupid. Do you just listen to depressed
people all day?"
Me: “I listen to whatever is on their mind. That' s what we' re
here for."
Caller: “You should just tell them to off themselves."
He: "sir, if you would like to speak to an operator, I' m right
here. If you are prank calling us, that is a misdemeanor and we
will prosecute."
Caller: obviously faking it"'' “Cch... well you see um...
A Crude Assumption That Needs Refining
Customer: “I need oil for my car. I need the ."
lele: “I' m sorry, we' re out of that."
Customer: "Well, go get some more."
Me: “I can' t just do that. I could order some for you, and it
will be here in a couple of days."
Customer: “No! Just go back there!" 'points to the storage
room"‘ "Get some from the tap."
Customer: “I know that every gas station is connected to
the oil rigs in the North Sea!"
Bumming Around cm The Job
I work in a highland grocery store that has a department of
employees socery dedicated to pushing shopping carts. J
Customer: "Excuse me, what' s [department name)?"
Me: "res a department where we push shopping carts, assist
customers, and maintain the parking lot."
Customer: "Yes, but are you an employee at [store]?"
He: "Yes, I' m an employee."
Customer: "As in, do they pay you?"
He: "Yes, this is my job."
Customer: "Go, you' re not homeless?"
Can' t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot
Coworker: "Hello sir, are you looking for something?"
Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You' re Chinese.
You' re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the
honest Canadian' s jobs!"
Coworker: "Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure
you I was born in the province of Quebec."
Customer: "Lies, lies and lies 'spots me“ "Finally, a prime
example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help
me please?"
He: "in my New Brunswick accent, "Sure I can. What are yo
looking for?"
Customer: "What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or
Russian? Get me the manager! I don' t understand how a sane
person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!"
He: grabbing the phone' "Calling Maria to front desk."
Customer: "Mariel? That' s Latino!"
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Favorited: 105
Submitted: 09/29/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#50 - Savos Mok (09/30/2010) [+] (11 replies)
#13 - demented (09/29/2010) [+] (8 replies)
If you add up every customer's IQ the sum is still a double digit...
#97 - xXmysteryqueenXx (09/30/2010) [+] (4 replies)
Slowly loosing my faith in humanity one idiot at a time.
User avatar #44 - archtronisback (09/30/2010) [+] (5 replies)
I love these. Will there be more?
#47 to #46 - DirtyLittleHippie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #80 - Thenewguygunther (09/30/2010) [+] (4 replies)
when your job is pushing carts it's just as sad as being homeless
User avatar #78 - SgtObvious (09/30/2010) [+] (9 replies)
Holy ******* **** , I live in Manalapn, NJ.
User avatar #85 to #84 - SgtObvious (09/30/2010) [-]
#31 - harharhar (09/29/2010) [-]
I've lost all faith in humanity...
I've lost all faith in humanity...
#53 - watertype (09/30/2010) [-]
<--- Last one
#122 - Monopolus (09/30/2010) [-]
******* racist bastard at the end.
User avatar #48 - andyzell (09/30/2010) [-]
i hate it when you tell someone where you live and they automatically assume what kind of place you live in
User avatar #40 - maxpayn (09/30/2010) [-]
hahahaha!! i laughed at all of them especially the last one
#11 - Crusader (09/29/2010) [-]
you know it... wait what< th old guy was BASHING us... **** him, but still
User avatar #1 - LaLobaNegra (09/29/2010) [+] (3 replies)
you're ******* awesome and i love these, fj is making a comeback thanks to people like you. keep posting!!!

p.s. i grew up in canada, and when the igloos melt, we take all our hockey sticks and beer cans and make lean-tos'
User avatar #67 - Keychan (09/30/2010) [-]
I don't know if I should laugh or cry at humanity's stupidity.
#33 - jokiu (09/29/2010) [+] (1 reply)
At the Canada one.
User avatar #23 - Ruspanic (09/29/2010) [-]
User avatar #66 - WittyName (09/30/2010) [+] (12 replies)
not to be stereotypical but how many people in Canada are like that? I've been thinking of moving there.
#58 - stratfudger **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
User avatar #43 - LeanPocket (09/30/2010) [-]
Lmao wait...just wait.

Canadians have rednecks?

User avatar #30 - bradynissen (09/29/2010) [+] (3 replies)
Are people really this stupid?
User avatar #34 to #30 - AcidFlux (09/30/2010) [-]
You've obviously never worked in retail or customer service. I used to encounter people on a daily basis that made me wonder in amazement how they survive from day to day without accidentally killing themselves trying to get dressed in the morning.
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