Every (Bad) Crowd Has A Silver Lining
When I was in college, I used to work in the cafeteria. On
this day, two girls are making hm of a third. J
Mean Girl #1: ", a hamburger? So much for that diet."
Mean Girl #2: "Are you kidding? She' s newer been on a diet in
fr. he third girl who they are talking to is, fbr the record, very
nice looking. J
Girl " ''taken aback"' "LU worked out today. I need the
Me: “Come on, leave her alone. She can eat whatever she
Mean Girl #1: "Yeah, I guess you don' t have to worry about
what you eat if you' re already fat and ugly!"
One of my coworkers has been listening from a distance. He
walks over, looks all three girls up and down, and then turns
to the third. J
Coworker: "Excuse me, miss, but do you think I could get
your phone number?"
Girl " "Are you serious?"
Coworker: “Completely! who wouldn' t want a date with a
beautiful girl who knows how to take care of herself?"
fr. his was five years ago. Pm going to be the best man at
their wedding. J
Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists
A teen approaches my cash register very slowly. J
Me: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "Gimme all the f'"'"'" ing medicine!"
Teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to
the front. J
Me: "The pharmacy is in the back of the store."
Customer: “Gah... okay."
if He holsters the gun in his belt and darts down the
aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the
back room because of the commotion. J
Manager: “Who was that?"
Me: “Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the
Manager: "Why didn' t you call the police?"
fr. he teen runs screaming from the back of the store out of
the front door hollowed closely by the pharmacy technician, a
35 year old boxer built like a fridge. J
Me: "Doug started working today."