French self-defense class. not mine.. The only white man who can run 100M in 10 seconds is French. How do they start a race? A gunshot. I rest my case. tags have swag
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#8 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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#69 to #8 - anon id: dadf9c09
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(08/04/2013) [-]
Don't use Sweden and USA for exemple of countries that did ****** things during WW II cause acctually they didn't.
#80 to #8 - anon id: 6f4e86ac
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Letting Nazis march through your land is a bad thing?
User avatar #124 to #8 - klaes
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Yeah, I would tolerate it if the French hadn't refused to get their navy out of the ports before the German's seized it. Churchill ended up bombing French ships to not let the Germans take them because the ******* cowards wouldn't just do the logical thing.

All the brave Frenchmen in WW2 died helping get the British army off the European mainland at the start of the war, after that it they were just utterly useless.
User avatar #153 to #8 - wiinor
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Actually, we helped arm all allied powers during the time
User avatar #11 to #8 - completeaddiction **User deleted account**
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Sweden wanted no involvement. Neither did the U.S., perfectly valid option.
#15 to #11 - rakoom
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As a result, they were occupied by nazies. There were no "oh okay. We'll leave you lads alone then."
User avatar #114 to #8 - cakezs
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(08/04/2013) [-]
Be quiet you baguette weilder
User avatar #94 to #8 - kratosity
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found the french feminist
#134 to #94 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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#66 to #8 - dracomancer
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That's because we wanted to follow George Washington's advice which was to stay out of foreign affairs. We did until the first world war and when we entered we saw how horrible that **** was and didn't want to enter the second because the american populace mindset was "If that's how us entering foreign affairs is going to be we don't want any part in it." I can't speak for the other countries but learn to take a joke. I can say that despite the jokes the french did some badass stuff during the second world war. France only surrendered because of how badly they were ****** up in the first world war.
That's because we wanted to follow George Washington's advice which was to stay out of foreign affairs. We did until the first world war and when we entered we saw how horrible that **** was and didn't want to enter the second because the american populace mindset was "If that's how us entering foreign affairs is going to be we don't want any part in it." I can't speak for the other countries but learn to take a joke. I can say that despite the jokes the french did some badass stuff during the second world war. France only surrendered because of how badly they were ****** up in the first world war.
User avatar #24 to #8 - advicedude
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(08/04/2013) [-]
Agreed.
User avatar #45 to #8 - failtolawl
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I agree, the hivemind is all about those stupid overused jokes. Don't delete the comment.
User avatar #74 to #8 - timmywankenobi
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(08/04/2013) [-]
shh FJ doesn't apperciate historical accuracy.
#169 to #8 - uppitynegro
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(08/05/2013) [-]
Why the French hate Americans.
#17 to #8 - didactus
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(08/04/2013) [-]
First of all, they didn't invade Norway through Sweden. Swedes let Nazis through to let them fight WITH the Finns against the Soviets. Considering we wanted to help our brotherland Finland, we let the Nazis pass through. I can agree with you on French and Feminist jokes but using Sweden as an example for bad things doesn't hold water, because if we didn't, we probably would have been invaded also. And it helped Finland.
User avatar #62 to #8 - babyanalraper
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Besides what others have already said, Sweden was able to act as a haven for Norwegians and Fins who fled from the war, and I believe quite some Jews as well. Sweden did more as a neutral country that it could possibly have done if opposing the Nazis.
User avatar #60 to #8 - luwak
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(08/04/2013) [-]
Agreed.
#59 to #8 - thehumancentiped
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I'm french, and I laughed hard on this one, really fun, better than the "white flag" poor jokes
User avatar #190 to #8 - kingofnewyork
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(08/05/2013) [-]
You can say Sweden pussied out, but it was strategic. There was no chance in hell we would have been able to repel or stall the nazis. Even if we would have fought against the invaders Germany would have steamrolled over us right into Norway anyways. All we did was avoiding unnecessary deaths.

To semi-quote A Song Of Ice And Fire: Better to be known as the country that knelt instead of the country that melt.
User avatar #196 to #8 - cudlefish
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It was one of Fdr's campaign promises NOT to go into WW2, but we sorta had to go in because of pearl harbor.
#83 to #8 - lankyman
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(08/04/2013) [-]
We joke about the France the same way I call my friend 'gay' then give him a hearty noogie out of fraternal love.

At least I do.
#189 to #8 - armanthul
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Dont worry bro, I like the French. Fj is just a cluster **** of different bandwagonds and *****, so you are gone hear that alot. ( about the french running away and being cowards and other stupid **** )
User avatar #10 to #8 - starblood
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Found the french.
User avatar #154 to #10 - jokersaysamuseme
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The french feminist, you mean
#200 to #10 - anon id: 502f0391
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French feminist*
#16 to #10 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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User avatar #25 to #16 - thewhitenigger
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you are a disgrace to the queen, supporting the french in any way then, weve been at war since 1066 and you wanna defend there cowardly honour?
User avatar #44 to #25 - lazersharkheads
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At war you say? I believe that in 1066, you got your ass handed to you by William the Conqueror at Hastings. And who was he again? Right, a French guy. He then improved your judicial system and a bunch of other things that were a bit ****** up.

So yeah, basically your country owes a lot to a French guy. Boo-yah.
User avatar #48 to #44 - thewhitenigger
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basically, we then got independence through a series of wars, then continued to **** on the french in wars like the hundred years war, Agincourt, remember that? when 8000 englishmen killed 22000 frenchmen and only lost 118 men. Or the Napoleonic wars where the English took the seas as there own. we owe them nothing.
#95 to #48 - hatesmlp
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I'm from Norway, and it's not a ******* chance that the British invaders only lost 118 men. I call ********
User avatar #97 to #95 - thewhitenigger
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well we lost 2000 at harfleur earlier in the campaign but on what the french call "the unfortunate day" we only lost 118 men including the duke of york.
if you struggle to believe me wikipedia it,
and if agincourt isnt evidence of trashing the french, look at crecy! almost as good
User avatar #98 to #97 - hatesmlp
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well yea, ever read "Agincourt" by Bernard Cornwell?
User avatar #100 to #98 - thewhitenigger
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aye
if not for my avid interest in the literal history of British war then that's nearly all I'm going off here, that and wikipedia and some old textbooks
User avatar #125 to #100 - Gandalfthewhite
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they were apparently planning on doing a film based on the book. i really hope they do it well if it does go through
User avatar #128 to #125 - thewhitenigger
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that would be amazing!
User avatar #129 to #128 - Gandalfthewhite
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i know right, i heard it was the dude who made/produced/wrote or whatever the show Camelot
#51 to #44 - anisbanana
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And to add onto that, Napoleon kicked half of Europe's ass.
User avatar #115 to #44 - flyingfucks
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And I'll add that William the Conqueror was from Normandy, which back then was separate from France and the people in Normandy hated the **** out of the French.
User avatar #118 to #115 - lazersharkheads
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Well then, the statement about the French and the British being at war since Hastings becomes clearly incorrect, right?
User avatar #85 to #44 - captainpatters
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the Normans were Danish
User avatar #89 to #85 - lazersharkheads
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had Danish origins/ancestors*
User avatar #56 to #44 - babyanalraper
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William was of Norse heritage and doesn't count.
User avatar #88 to #56 - lazersharkheads
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That's like saying that US citizens are European because, save the Natives, they come from immigration…
User avatar #104 to #88 - babyanalraper
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No, that is not the same thing. William was probably the 4th generation of Vikings born in Normandie, and they still had ties with Scandinavia and did not view themselves as 'other french'. I suppose you could compare it to the grandgrandchildren of European settlers in the US.
User avatar #113 to #104 - lazersharkheads
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Hmm. Let me see… Say one generation at the time (from 1620 on) was about, what, 50 years ? Idk, let's say it was. Grandgrandchildren would mean that there were three generations before (if we stick to my random guess, that makes about 150 years, right ?).
So we get to the 1770s, and I'm pretty sure that at the time, what they aspired less for was their European roots. Then again, the 50 year per gen. was arbitrarily set by none other than me, so I guess I could be wrong, but still. Also I'm just bitching cause I wanna believe I'm right.
User avatar #117 to #113 - babyanalraper
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I'd say 100 years or something, but that's really not the point. The point is that it wasn't the french who invaded Engliand, it was french vikings or something like that. They were no longer vikings, that is obvious, but not entirely french either.
User avatar #19 to #16 - rangerofthesea
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if you side with the french you are no better than a french frenchie
User avatar #23 to #19 - edraham
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(08/04/2013) [-]
Whoa. Very constructive.
I clear the situation, I'm the french. And I say, better run and save your life.

Parce qu'au moins, nous, on peut courir.
User avatar #26 to #23 - rangerofthesea
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run and leave your friends to die, or stay and help win the fight? i choose the latter...rather die knowing i did my best than run and be looked at in a cowards light
User avatar #30 to #26 - edraham
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You didn't specify the situation. It is too easy to create one after a response.
Obviously I'll stand up for my friends. At this rate, we do not talk about French, we talk about humanity.
And whatever they teached you, it was false. Make yourself an opinion please. And stop hurting hurting people with meaning non-sense.
User avatar #31 to #30 - rangerofthesea
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********************************************************************.jpg
#42 to #31 - ironsoul
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Take this.
User avatar #32 to #31 - edraham
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Resume : Meditate on your words, in France we say " Tourne 10 fois ta langue dans ta bouche avant de parler. "
#27 to #26 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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User avatar #29 to #27 - rangerofthesea
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it will take the french being a big part of a victory in a major war to have that view changed in the worlds eyes
User avatar #57 to #29 - hydraetis
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Assuming you're American, I hope you realise that you owe your independence to the French. If they hadn't come in to help you fight the English you absolutely would have lost the war.
User avatar #127 to #57 - nebraksa corn
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What're you talking about? The French showed up for the last battle. The most help we got from France was Marquis de La Fayette and he left France because he was disgusted with it and in love with the idea of freedom and general equality.
User avatar #202 to #127 - hydraetis
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I don't get your point.

America didn't show up in World War 2 until after Germany split its army in half to fight Russia and yet you guys are still always trying to take full credit for winning that war.
User avatar #210 to #202 - nebraksa corn
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My point is that we don't owe anything to the French. And hitler would've won if he wouldn't had declared war on the us so early. The two front war was air raids over England and land battle with the main army. Was barely a two front war. Plus the allies were fighting with our products we came into the 6 year conflict at the two year marker.
#34 to #29 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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#33 to #29 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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#102 to #33 - fakeanon
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(08/04/2013) [-]
yes but with out america both french and the British wouldn't be here MERICA!
#185 to #102 - skarre
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(08/05/2013) [-]
Despite popular belief, the USA didn't save Europe from the Nazis.
But you DID save (western) Europe from the communists.
User avatar #201 to #185 - fakeanon
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hmm but i believe that if the U.S would have not intervened that Russia and Germany may have likely fought to a stand still since Germany would have more resources for have a one front war then a two front war since the British was piratically at its knees if it wasent for us support.
User avatar #205 to #201 - skarre
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Not really, 70% of the German forces were already stationed on the eastern front, and unlike Germany, the Soviet union had a LOT of remaining manpower.

Sure, it would have taken longer time, but actually the Soviet union saved us from Nazi-Germany, while you saved us from the Soviets.
User avatar #206 to #205 - fakeanon
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well we can not leave out japan as well, and with the time it would take i say germany would have finished there nuclear program
User avatar #207 to #206 - skarre
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(08/05/2013) [-]
No to be rude, but that is also wrong.
The Germans actually abandoned their nuclear program after that they misscalculatd the amound of uranium or plutonium needed for an A-bomb. They thought they needed several times the actual amount, and simply gave up because of the estimated costs.

But, creds for fighting the war in the Pacific though.
User avatar #208 to #207 - fakeanon
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agreed but actually we cannot forget the British commandos for attacking the Germans The Norwegian heavy water sabotage was a series of actions undertaken by Norwegian saboteurs during World War II to prevent the German nuclear energy project from acquiring heavy water (deuterium oxide), which could be used to produce nuclear weapons. they attacked it more then once
User avatar #203 to #201 - hydraetis
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You guys still give yourself way too much credit a lot of the time. The other commonwealth countries (Canada, Australia, New Zealand) did a lot more than you guys care to realise.
User avatar #204 to #203 - fakeanon
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indeed they did contribute alot but with out us in the pacific and most of Australia's army else where they would have fallen heres why ->Britain's Statute of Westminster 1931 formally ended most of the constitutional links between Australia and the UK. Australia adopted it in 1942,[76] but it was backdated to 1939 to confirm the validity of legislation passed by the Australian Parliament during World War II.[77][78] The shock of the United Kingdom's defeat in Asia in 1942 and the threat of Japanese invasion caused Australia to turn to the United States as a new ally and protector. as for canada wasent even independent of the brits till later i know my history dam you and the us had more then enough power to even have a two front war and lose very little troops doing so
#28 to #23 - hinedodmansmith **User deleted account**
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User avatar #47 to #16 - Gandalfthewhite
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if you was a true Englishman then you would take pride in making fun of the french as is your duty
#39 to #16 - anon id: 00cd7e3c
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******* Frog.
#37 to #16 - anon id: 0135cc4d
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Shut the **** up, slut!
User avatar #21 - aabbccddeeffgghhii
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The only white man who can run 100M in 10 seconds is French. How do they start a race? A gunshot. I rest my case.
#38 to #21 - frohling
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(08/04/2013) [-]
if that doesn't work they just go execute some royal people
#43 to #38 - anon id: f55083ed
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or wave a white flag. while drinking wine.. and eating a croissant...while looking at art.....
User avatar #50 to #43 - cheatman
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Is that a French dude or just one of the fine art fags?
User avatar #116 to #50 - partnerintroll
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one in the same
#55 to #21 - triggathepirate
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I pictured the gun going off and the french guy jumping up like.   
"Guah! Sacre bleu!" and sprintin the hell off.
I pictured the gun going off and the french guy jumping up like.
"Guah! Sacre bleu!" and sprintin the hell off.
#140 to #55 - greedtheavarice
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And now I'm imagining it.

**** you, that's funny.
#1 - hotsaws
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User avatar #2 to #1 - nogphille
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i like parcours. it gives me endurance, speed, hardiness and the ability to pursue.
User avatar #4 to #2 - hotsaws
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It's just a joke, though.
#5 to #4 - nogphille
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i apologize
#6 to #5 - hotsaws
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It's ok.
#3 to #1 - anon id: 255aa5c4
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they took it from congo after seeing the natos runnin throught the jungle.
#53 - lolfire
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He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day.
#105 to #53 - anon id: 0bbc9983
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He who fights and runs away lives to fight and run away a second time
User avatar #133 to #53 - Jaken
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so when do they start fighting?
#166 to #53 - anon id: 2da4d6df
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(08/04/2013) [-]
>Gets shot the next day by supreme nazis
User avatar #155 to #53 - VIsForVendetta
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...and then run away again?
#92 to #53 - trollzoll
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Wrong flag
User avatar #65 to #53 - darbius
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*lives to run another day
User avatar #68 to #65 - robskul
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lel
#22 - fuckerrr **User deleted account**
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I said to myself " Sprinting isnt a martial..." and then laughed loud enough to wake my 13 year old up.
User avatar #35 to #22 - aahrg
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i hate random boners too, but i don't think i've ever gotten one from laughing....
User avatar #58 - greatgranpapy
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(08/04/2013) [-]
To be fare, the French have a pretty bad-ass military.
User avatar #87 to #58 - deviroux
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If you're going to defend the french shouldn't you be spy, not medic?
User avatar #61 to #58 - crazyeyedbioll
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The only badasses are the foreign legion, and Im pretty sure they only put foreigners in it. therefore france's most badass unit isnt even french
#183 to #61 - gerfox
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All the officers are French, and also some of the soldiers.
#176 to #61 - anon id: 8a80c83b
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(08/05/2013) [-]
at least research stuff before posting, donkey.
User avatar #64 to #61 - herecomesjohnny
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the french foreign legion is *allowed* to hire foreigners, it's not only made of foreigners
User avatar #73 to #64 - apotato
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It was made only for foreigners. Just recently that they opened enlisting for frenchman.
User avatar #67 to #64 - crazyeyedbioll
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fair enough, it's good to be corrected when I dont have the right information.
#63 to #61 - forahilarm
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Well, recently I believe, they opened their doors to Frenchmen too. (But, you could fake your citizenship anyway and they'd take you in.)
User avatar #101 to #63 - defeats
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You can't fake your citizenship anymore, everybody has to have a valid passport and go through Interpol security checks.
Also only about 1 in 10 men make it through the initial screening.
Frenchmen are eligible for enlistment now.
#175 - clockworkseven **User deleted account**
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#141 - anon id: 134c0342
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lol...american pride. how shameful

1. No free healthcare. your government leaves you to die!!!
2. The worst education system in the western world which leaves more school leavers innumerate and illiterate than any other developed western country.
3. Higher crime rates and murder rates per percentage of population than any other developed country in the world.
4. It has the worst Economy on record, and cant even sustain its own national debt to itself, let alone the 7 trillion dollars owed to china.
5. It calls itself a superpower, and claims to have the best armed forces in the world but hasn't won a single war since the civil war over 200 years ago.
6. Has the highest percentage per population in the developed world of people living below the poverty line, just as weak as the third world countries.
7. Your iphone was made in china, you can't even develop your own economy, resources.
8. The most overweight country in the world by a large margin. A big, fat and stupid nation.
#168 to #141 - anon id: 2da4d6df
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Someone likes the mind reading asians too much
Besides its not like China's the best country some of it is still in a 3rd world state
fagit before you start ******* facts about a country look at the country you're supporting's faults then come back
BTW I'm from Ireland so I'm from a country where my point of view on things are better than yours because I can have more than one child lel
#170 to #141 - anon id: 6c87d45a
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^THIS
#181 to #141 - wobblewub
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/05/2013) [-]
>Implying every other country in the world is better than America.
User avatar #149 to #141 - roliga
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/04/2013) [-]
How's the 8th grade been treating you so far?
User avatar #150 to #141 - unikornanarkyh
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/04/2013) [-]
I think it is a fine country. It does seem pretty bad if you point out all the bad things. Everything looks bad if you do that.
#90 - floofy
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/04/2013) [-]
i really hope they know its all in good humor.

theyre fighting the good fight in mali
User avatar #96 to #90 - wewilldinealone
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/04/2013) [-]
Not sure while your were thumbed down.

They did do a good job in Mali.
#108 to #90 - Sunset
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 - mykoira
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(08/04/2013) [-]
French new national anthem Rainbow - I Surrender