Bye Florida.. Mosquitoes that can bite through clothes....Just spells NOPE..
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Bye Florida.

Mosquitoes that can bite through clothes....Just spells NOPE.

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Views: 48894
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Submitted: 03/12/2013
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#4 - mattdoggy (03/13/2013) [+] (3 replies)
>wake up in cracker shack    
>alarm clock didn't go off because hurricane has knocked out powerlines    
>also too poor to afford alarm clock    
>after ingesting several gallons of sweet tea and eye balling my cousin for a bit i decide to go to work   
>i crank up my airboat and ride to the nearest interstate    
>after selling several Japanese tourists oranges and Mickey Mouse t-shirts i decide to go brew more sweet tea and moonshine    
>i have to chase several Black Panthers and bears away from my still site as well as a few Cubans   
>After an hour of watching the mash cook i decide to drive five minutes away to the beach   
>There i laugh at tourists and then try to sell them decapitated alligator hands/heads and shark fetuses which they happily buy   
>making enough money to afford a fishing trip in the Keys later in the weekend i fire up my swamp buggy and drive to my house in Christmas Florida, just past Disney   
>once i get home i board up all the windows and doors and throw a bucket of citronella on the fire place so the Mosquito's don't take me while i sleep   
>I stay in a lucid state of fear and sleep as i listen to the skunk apes and alligators rage at the saw grass and fight off mosquitos   
>occasionally a panther screaming like a woman will wake me enough to make me take another hit of moonshine from my Dale Earnhardt Sr. travel mug   
>when i do drift off into sleep for a bit, i have nightmares of yuppies moving into Orlando and plowing more good hunting land away to make room for development areas   
>i only make it through the night by clutching a cross in one hand while holding the Confederate flag around me with to other to keep warm on the usually cold 112 degree night time chill   
>i begin to hear the neighbors rooster crow and the hogs yell as my neighbors start their morning domestic dispute   
>i have made it through another night....the cycle begins again
>wake up in cracker shack
>alarm clock didn't go off because hurricane has knocked out powerlines
>also too poor to afford alarm clock
>after ingesting several gallons of sweet tea and eye balling my cousin for a bit i decide to go to work
>i crank up my airboat and ride to the nearest interstate
>after selling several Japanese tourists oranges and Mickey Mouse t-shirts i decide to go brew more sweet tea and moonshine
>i have to chase several Black Panthers and bears away from my still site as well as a few Cubans
>After an hour of watching the mash cook i decide to drive five minutes away to the beach
>There i laugh at tourists and then try to sell them decapitated alligator hands/heads and shark fetuses which they happily buy
>making enough money to afford a fishing trip in the Keys later in the weekend i fire up my swamp buggy and drive to my house in Christmas Florida, just past Disney
>once i get home i board up all the windows and doors and throw a bucket of citronella on the fire place so the Mosquito's don't take me while i sleep
>I stay in a lucid state of fear and sleep as i listen to the skunk apes and alligators rage at the saw grass and fight off mosquitos
>occasionally a panther screaming like a woman will wake me enough to make me take another hit of moonshine from my Dale Earnhardt Sr. travel mug
>when i do drift off into sleep for a bit, i have nightmares of yuppies moving into Orlando and plowing more good hunting land away to make room for development areas
>i only make it through the night by clutching a cross in one hand while holding the Confederate flag around me with to other to keep warm on the usually cold 112 degree night time chill
>i begin to hear the neighbors rooster crow and the hogs yell as my neighbors start their morning domestic dispute
>i have made it through another night....the cycle begins again
#14 - fedexman (03/13/2013) [+] (2 replies)
When America realizes Florida looks like a gun.
When America realizes Florida looks like a gun.
User avatar #9 - suddenlypotatoes (03/13/2013) [-]
Jesus Christ Bugs Bunny is ******* huge he takes up a serious part of Georgia
#17 - laxian (03/13/2013) [+] (3 replies)
poor florida
#10 - ashee (03/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Mosquitos.. that can bite through clothing...
#8 - bakedtaco (03/13/2013) [-]
Ready
User avatar #2 - Maroon (03/13/2013) [-]
Part of me is thinking "at least they're big and easily noticeable so I can kill them" and the other part of me is going "OMG THOSE ARE LIKE MY NIGHTMARES COME TO LIFE THERE'S NO WAY I'D TOUCH ONE WITH MY BARE HAND I'D PROBABLY JUST FALL TO MY KNEES AND BEG IT TO LEAVE ME WITH ENOUGH BLOOD TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY"
#68 - chrislafff (03/13/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Comment Picture
User avatar #43 - noopis (03/13/2013) [-]
Wasn't this gif posted as a comment on that Florida mosquito post yesterday?
User avatar #38 - ShadeElement ONLINE (03/13/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Anyone who thinks Florida's wimpy quarter sized mosquitoes are scary, clearly hasn't been to Alaska where they carry off small children.
User avatar #23 - Accidentalninja (03/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
It had to go anyways. It's shaped like a gun.
#11 - willindor (03/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I am ready for the summer.
#67 - responsibletim (03/13/2013) [+] (2 replies)
IT'S NOT FUNNY. I LIVE IN FLORIDA THE STRUGGLE IS REAL DAMN IT.
#34 - harleycurnow ONLINE (03/13/2013) [+] (8 replies)
Thanks yourselves lucky! News has it that here in england we might face a hosepipe ban!

Pic unrelated. David Attenborough.
+2
#56 - necessary **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #31 - unhappyspanners (03/13/2013) [+] (2 replies)
I'm going to Florida in July-August, on a scale of 1 to Anne Frank, how worried should I be?
#12 - climbingupthewalls (03/13/2013) [+] (1 reply)
MFW i first heard about the mosquitoes
MFW i first heard about the mosquitoes
User avatar #3 - houseofbrick (03/13/2013) [-]
We'll say hello to Cuba for you, Bugs.
#7 - anonymous (03/13/2013) [-]
I live in Sweden and i've honestly gotten mosquitoe-bites through my leather jacket...
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