Alpha slide

On a side note, I don't know if anyone else mentioned it, but while editing this I noticed in the last frame that they are about to slam straight into a child.
Even more lols were had.

I laughed harder at that than at the actual post, have one more green thumb good sir.

"I'm good with my hands.."

So you want a hand job?

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

What the zoobidey flip-flop-bop did you just say about me, you flippidy zoob woobity? I'll have you know I zooped and flooped to the top of my class in the zobbler wobbler, and I've rop-wop-flopped in numerous shoobidy doobidies on floppity pudding, and I have over 300 shibbidy bops. I am trained in flap-floppities and I'm the top doober in the entire shibbidy. You are nothing to zoobidy-me but just another zoobidy. I will zoop you the blop out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this floobidy Earth, mark my flibbidy flop. You think you can flop away with zoobing that doobie-woobie to me over the Interzoobies? Think again, flap-flopper. As we speak I am zipping my blopping bloop of flobbidies across the boopidy and your floopidy is being flopped right now so you better poopidy for the big zoobidy flop party, son. You're jeeber zeebered, son. I can be anywhere, any-flopping-time, and I can zoop and woop you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my boobidy shoobidies. Not only am I extensively zooped in zip-wop, but I have access to the entire zabber of the Zap Wop Muggity Top and I will zoop it to its full extent to flap your flobbity flob off the face of the zoobie, you zabber wabber. If only you could have known what zopping fury your little "zoopity" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have zooped up. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you flapping babbling shooby-wooper. I will zip zop all over you and you will drown in it. You're zooped, son.

Did somebody say Wooper?

What in the Lord's name hast thou accused me of, you mangy cur? I take it upon myself to inform thee I completed mine service as a Crusader in a position of leadership, and personally spited at the very least three-hundred moslems upon my lance alone. I was taught powerful forms of combat in strange lands beyond Egypt by immensely hairy blacks and I be the greatest knight in all of Britannia! Thou art nothing to me but another knave to be stuck down. I shall remove thee from the King's lands with skill none hath ever witnessed in all of God's creation, mark my blasted words. Thou believe you may escape unharmed after uttering such vile phrases to me via magical pigeon? Ye may wish to rethink, oaf. As we converse, I am calling upon my network of allies all across Britain, and your coat of arms is being delivered to me at this very moment, so it would be best for your continued survival if you prepared for the firestorm to be delivered to your doorstep, worm. The sort of firestorm that would decimate the insignificant, worthless thing thee refers to as your life. Thou art as dead, child. I am capable of relocating mineself anywhere, anytime, and I am well versed in more than seven hundred different forms of killing, and that be with mere fisticuffs. Not only am I gargantuanly trained in such modes of combat, but I additionally am permmitted access to the entirety of our liege the King's armies and am sure to make full use of it to remove your stain upon our great nation, thou filthy pig. If only thee had the sense to fathom what hellfire thine witty remark would surely bring upon you, and now thee will feel the retribution, you damnable fool. I will deficate divine fury upon you and thou will drown in it. Ye be doomed, peasant.

I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

What in God's name did you utter, puking beetle-headed scullion? I’ll say to thee that I graduated top page in my class, and I’ve partaken in numerous quests for the holy grail, and I have slain over 300 heathens in the holy-lands. I am versed in ram warfare and I’m the top knight in all the Round Table. Thou art nothing to me but just another sheathe for my sword. I will send you to God's kingdom with valour the likes of which has never been seen before in all the land, so heed these words. Thou thinks you can say that to a noble such as myself over courier pigeon? Don't make me laugh, thy currish base-court bladder! As I write this I am contacting my secret network of inquisitors across Europe and your home is being stalked by the royal assassin right now so thou best prepare for a mighty tempest, thine tottering clapper-clawed barnacle. The tempest that butchers the cowardly chicken known as your life. Thou art already dead, thou frothy dismal-dreaming baggage. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can slay you in over four-score and seven ways, and that’s just with my gauntlets. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire armoury of King Arthur's Court and I will use it to its full extent to send you're miserable backside to kingdom-come, thou with an odour of defecation. If only you could have foreseen what God-sent wrath your little “clever” message was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have respected the authority of a noble. But you could not, you did not, and now thou shalt have thy just-desserts, you Mewling Notty-pated hedgepig. I will defecate the scourge of God-almighty all over you and thou shalt cease to breathe under it. Thou art utterly slain, you inbred hugger-muggers infant.

Oooooooh I’m so scared, you think you’re tough pussy? I’m behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT’S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can’t hack me you little piece of shit. You’re peeshooter and kung fu won’t make a difference when my friend woh’s a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you’re sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i’m having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you’ve ever even held hands with a girl.

Yes, I like it

MFW This whole thread

I must know, where can I watch the video?

http://www youtube com/watch?v=XHhDiCWy_II

Its from a swedish movie called "Kopps". It's like supertroopers, only with actors who are less gay than the "broken lizard" group.

am I the only one who think this gif should be "gay as fuck"? that jump seems pretty gay to me

Too alpha to be gay.

that's not alpha, that's just a cod-fag quick-scoping showoff

<you may find this useful

...Or later that night...