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Back to the content 'faith in humanity'
Apparently according to several psychologists I've been to say that I'm at such a high level of depression that if I were to take antidepressants I would most likely get just enough willpower to kill myself.
Psychotherapy. Brought me back from the brink, might work for you as well.
I'm totally not trolling, and not kidding about this.
I have gone through immensely strong bouts of depression - I think it was so strong that it had physical effects on me: it stunted my growth - grey hairs in 8-10th grade.
Here are the things I did that allowed me to defeat it:
1. Take sadness and turn it into rage - When you're so frustrated that you want to break down, go into a room - pick out the one defiant thought that you can focus yourself on and focus all rage on it. Hiss, roar, and sob until it's all out.
2. #1 will help you achieve the next tenant, which is to
never feel sorry for yourself
. If something is getting in your way, pick it out and circle around it like an adversary. Convince yourself that you're going to kill and destroy it. Once again, channel rage, not sadness.
3. Said rage will turn you debilitating sadness into motivation. Eventually, you will realize that your problems are completely manageable, and you will start solving real-world problems. Eventually, the Sadness will be exclusively replaced by Rage. Then, you can start replacing Rage with Planning and Action.
4. In the end, you will be a creature that is DEEPLY confident (and therefore almost fearless... not reckless or stupid, just not
), and a great Analytical Thinker and Planner. Your mind will immediately start working out Solutions rather than Comfort, Fear, Irrational Anger or Self-Pity.
One book more than any other helped me through my depression... Just when you get a little way into the 'Rage' phase, read 'Johnny the Homicidal Maniac' by Jhonen Vasquez.
Sometimes, depending on my mood, Really Dark, morbid Pictures/Stories or my favorite inspiring/badass Books/VGs/Animes have their own effect on my phyche - Just pay attention to things whose effect on you feels like medicine, and stay round those things. Also, be aware of people/things who feel seriously
to you, and
STAY AWAY from them
That's the best advice I have. It worked for me.
Johnny The Homicidal Maniac
No, seriously (that's why I started my comment with
"I'm not trolling, but..."
It's by the same guy who did
- he dealt with some pretty extreme depression issues as a kid/young adult as well (basically up until the point that he wrote JTHM) and this is basically his manifesto about how to Understand (and, maybe how to defeat) Evil and Depression.
The violence shocked me for the first read-through... and then it just becomes background noise - Also, after 2 or three reads, i realized that the goriness is actually there to make a mockery of violence in general... Also, as the story goes on, it quickly shifts away from the goofy violence in the beginning to show a sort of
story of Johnny, which is usually helpful for people in
particular sort of depression.
It's seriously good **** - the Final panel of the Final volume carries perhaps
the most down-to-Earth and inspiring message I've seen in any Media ever.
I suggest you pick up a copy and read it if you're ever really depressed and/or angry.
This is true, they say that if you are severely depressed the lack of energy can cause horrible outcomes if you are prescribed SSRI's. That's why for the first two weeks of SSRI's you're supposed to see the doc and watch for suicidal thoughts.
Off tangent but I had a similar problem but they prescribed Paxil, and we figured out my anxiety was causing my depression. So paxil really did help me greatly.
My psychologists never said such a thing (though it was true). After about a month on antidepressants, I had resolved to kill myself, and thus did some stupid things before I was going to kill myself. Doing these stupid things ended up helping me stay alive short term but have made things alot harder on me, and now I'm back to the suicidal point again, and I'm not on antidepressants.
Bro-hef, GET OFF the meds! You can fix this on your own!
The longer you take those, the more permanent damage you can do to your brain.
I haven't expressed myself this well in a while, so I'll just refer to my upper comment:
I've looked this up for my own self - there are clear, chemical, physiological reasons for Depression. THIS was the video that got me on the path to curing my own depression. MASSIVE stuff:
See? It's not magic, not demons... and it's curable by force of will (assuming you don't have some kind of
Eyes/Ears/Body picks up stress (internal and external) -> Sensory organs feed neurons -> Neuron activity activates glands -> Glands release hormones -> Hormones attenuate brain to produce 'stressed' or 'depressed' State of Mind -> Cycle begins again.
Break the chain in the Short-Term by mentally calming your stress.
Break the chain in the Long-Term by eliminating your real-world Primary Stressors.
Here, have a song to get you started. Good Luck... and FJ's here for you!
Goddamnit. I've got a feeling I'll be copypastaing this a lot in this section...
Stop for a minute and take a look through this website. Hell, just this comment section. What do you see? I see a community, maybe even a family. We're dysfunctional and rude as hell, but we always stick up for our own. Even anons, like me. I'm a lurker; I've been on this site for a few years now and rarely post comments, but I felt this needed a reply, even at two thirty in the morning. You are a goddamned human being, surrounded by other goddamned human beings that will give you emotional support if only you ask. After you finish this job, get the hell out there and find another one, but always know this is your place. FJ will always be here to welcome you home.
this is why I'm terrified to take anti depressants. I know how you feel
I love you random stranger..
Back to the content 'faith in humanity'