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User avatar #18 - Karfeyenta (01/09/2014) [-]
as a girl who's never had an ****** with a partner... never even gotten close... Doing something like this is just rubbing a lot of emotion pain and insecurity in her face..
User avatar #19 to #18 - godtherapist (01/09/2014) [-]
SHUT THE **** UP. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
User avatar #20 to #19 - Karfeyenta (01/09/2014) [-]
insecure much? Do you have a little mouse pinkie for a dick?
User avatar #21 to #20 - godtherapist (01/09/2014) [-]
Yes I do. My dick is very small but it still doesn't change the fact that your insecurities have nothing to do with this post. Stop ruining a good joke with your ******** .
User avatar #57 to #21 - kalimah (01/09/2014) [-]
>expecting a woman to have sense of humor
User avatar #22 to #21 - Karfeyenta (01/09/2014) [-]
I was simply adding something to it. If you don't like it, get your stupid ass over it and **** off.
User avatar #31 to #22 - youngneil (01/09/2014) [-]
Sounds to me like you are the one that needs to get off.
#50 to #31 - ilikeducks ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
Damn son
Damn son
#99 to #50 - ilikecows **User deleted account** (01/09/2014) [-]
ilikeducks?

ilikecows
#100 to #99 - ilikeducks ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
Holy. **** .
User avatar #32 to #31 - godtherapist (01/09/2014) [-]
Awwww SNAP!
User avatar #83 to #31 - cocoman ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
REKT
User avatar #95 to #31 - oceanfrank ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
it's not even the amazing comeback you just had, it's your username.
0
#93 to #31 - bogbean has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #23 to #22 - godtherapist (01/09/2014) [-]
I think that YOU are the one that needs to get the **** over it.

Life isn't fair, boo hoo, I need to ********** because I don't know how to have sex properly.

Seriously?
User avatar #25 to #23 - dracolegacy (01/09/2014) [-]
best argument ive seen today, and it wasnt at work, thank you.
User avatar #26 to #25 - godtherapist (01/09/2014) [-]
I'm thinking of becoming a comic. Instead of jokes I'd go on stage and just get angry the first stupid person to open their mouth.
User avatar #27 to #26 - dracolegacy (01/09/2014) [-]
i think you would be a great act, just remember who supported your beginning when you get famous. free tickets will be more than sufficient.
#75 to #20 - killasmasha (01/09/2014) [-]
Don't know about this guy, but your "partner" clearly does..
0
#94 to #19 - wadawada has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #28 to #18 - infinitereaper (01/09/2014) [-]
Maybe you just have a really big ******
#69 to #18 - niggernazi (01/09/2014) [-]
or you could save some electricity and embrace yourself for my giant 12 inch 						*******					 if you know what i mean :^)
or you could save some electricity and embrace yourself for my giant 12 inch ******* if you know what i mean :^)
User avatar #84 to #69 - cocoman ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
I love you.
User avatar #156 to #69 - sonnyboii (01/09/2014) [-]
For some reason i find these hilarious as **** +
#51 to #18 - ilikeducks ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
Thanks. I've been waiting to use this
Thanks. I've been waiting to use this
User avatar #42 to #18 - paronix (01/09/2014) [-]
Oh go cry for attention somewhere else
User avatar #118 to #18 - wellimnotsure (01/09/2014) [-]
Since you've been thumbed into oblivion, what are the Daedra like?
#24 to #18 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
With worry of coming across as a dick.

Perhaps the issue in you not having an ****** with a partner, if attempted with more than one, lies with you and not the man. It is an easy thing to get a woman to ****** , using the right position and adding fingers and lips to the mixture of thrust.

Perhaps you ought to talk with your partner, indulge in a few desires/ ********* .
User avatar #37 to #18 - wellimnotsure (01/09/2014) [-]
If you haven't had an ****** you're probably doing something wrong
#44 to #18 - sedativechunk (01/09/2014) [-]
Apart from the war going on in the comments, allow me to add something insightful (I studied human sexuality in college from a famous sex expert ):
1) Perhaps this is an underlying health problem either physically, mentally, or both. Are you able to ****** on your own? If so, there's nothing physically wrong with you, it has to be a mental-related issue. Perhaps you get nervous or weirder out and just can't get in the mood. There are alot of reasons to not get in the mood. Maybe you don't like/trust the people you are with enough. Just ideas. If you are having a physical problem though, you should see a doctor immediately, it could be something serious.
2) Are you sure you are not a ******* or have a gender-related issue? I'm not saying you are/nothing wrong with that but one of my past relationships my girlfriend didn't like physical contact because she was a closet ******* .
3) There is a word for this type of people I can't think of at the moment, but some women literally don't like having objects inside of their ****** , including sex toys and a penis even though they're heterosexual. If this is the issue, you should see a specialist that can help deal with sex-related problems, they can help you find ways to get comfortable with yourself.
4) Contrary to popular belief on the internet, a man's size does not matter, this has been proven time and again since the 1960's with Masters and Johnson's sex trials. Also a women cannot really be "stretched out", even after children sex is still relatively the same for both parties.
5) Maybe you've just had awful sex partners (in which case you can call me if you live in Western Pennsylvania ) I know alot of guys first times they don't last more than 20 seconds sometimes. That's not long enough to get a women off.

Good luck.
#88 to #44 - setimanosomo (01/09/2014) [-]
You passed over a golden opportunity to say 'sexpert'
User avatar #29 to #18 - cannibislover (01/09/2014) [-]
Women are emotion, pain, and insecurity.
#56 to #18 - dubator ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
Hate to break it to you, but you werent girlfriend just cumdumb.
Hate to break it to you, but you werent girlfriend just cumdumb.
User avatar #138 to #18 - ponieswererolled (01/09/2014) [-]
lol rubbing
#92 to #18 - kez (01/09/2014) [-]
Maybe you're just not worth the effort to him.
#89 to #18 - ishalltroll (01/09/2014) [-]
Either your partner is **** or you don't know how to sex.
So do something about it or quit bitching and ********** like everybody else.
#154 to #18 - chibullsa (01/09/2014) [-]
***** this ain't reddit
User avatar #128 to #18 - anusraper (01/09/2014) [-]
whale alarm !!!
User avatar #107 to #18 - erikus (01/09/2014) [-]
Or maybe is a ******* joke and you fail at sex.
User avatar #66 to #18 - desuforeverlulz (01/09/2014) [-]
Explain how?
User avatar #68 - niggernazi (01/09/2014) [-]
that is one bigass dildo.

your gf must be a slut
User avatar #74 to #68 - pawnman (01/09/2014) [-]
not a dildo, it just vibrates up against the ****** sending sensations through it.
#71 to #68 - gaminggenus (01/09/2014) [-]
Girls need pleasure too mate.
Girls need pleasure too mate.
User avatar #72 to #71 - niggernazi (01/09/2014) [-]
the only pleasure a girl needs is the bible

by shoving it up their *******
#73 to #72 - gaminggenus (01/09/2014) [-]
Well...
Well...
#146 to #71 - purplegolem ONLINE (01/09/2014) [-]
This has got to be the most relevant and funny deal with it gif I have ever seen.
User avatar #59 - euphoricturtle (01/09/2014) [-]
Or.... You could just learn to please your girlfriend properly, then she wouldn't have to get one of those.
#61 to #59 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
'cause they're together 24/7
User avatar #48 - hugsta (01/09/2014) [-]
Firstly, dildos are a banable offense. I know this doesn't look like a dick, and I have no intention to flag you, I just thought I'd give you a heads-up in case you're worried someone else might flag it. Especially since we're currently in some kind of banocalypse right now.

Secondly, why do American plugs have holes in them? If you are American I know it probably seems normal, but I'm seriously curious about it.
User avatar #54 to #48 - carbohydrates (01/09/2014) [-]
You need to login to view this link
^^ Reasons why they have holes.
#62 to #48 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
It's a massage stick, silly.
#166 to #48 - draeman (01/09/2014) [-]
I read that as bananable

I want a banana.

Comment has been flagged   Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply -6
User avatar #117 - richardparry (01/09/2014) [-]
This image was flagged 01/09/2014
#120 to #117 - leonhardt (01/09/2014) [-]
Hi there, I'm Walt Garrison.
#124 to #120 - invshika (01/09/2014) [-]
Hi, I'm Ray Bingo.
User avatar #152 - elcreepo (01/09/2014) [-]
Couple of paperclips and an hour

She might be slightly electrified, but she'll likely find a way even with no lockpicking skills.
User avatar #159 to #152 - AbsentMinded (01/09/2014) [-]
How the **** can you ********** with paperclips?
User avatar #170 to #159 - ipwnallnubz (01/09/2014) [-]
oh dear
User avatar #160 to #159 - elcreepo (01/09/2014) [-]
Not what I'm saying.

Use the paperclips to put into the outlet and attach to the prongs

Then you're good to go. If she's smart, she'll get some rubber gloves first.

This is all assuming she can't pick a lock.
User avatar #161 to #160 - AbsentMinded (01/09/2014) [-]
You could always just get a soldering iron and some lectric tape replace the head I guess, or you could lockpick.


I actually ordered some lockpicks today.
User avatar #164 to #161 - wellimnotsure (01/09/2014) [-]
or just get a pair of bolt cutters and cut the lock like a normal human being
User avatar #165 to #164 - AbsentMinded (01/09/2014) [-]
******* that's not as challenging.

You have to earn your sex toy.
User avatar #171 to #164 - elcreepo (01/10/2014) [-]
>bolt cutters
>women

Lmfao
#115 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
The fact that she needs one of those means you're not doing your job as a man.
#125 to #115 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
The job a man has in a sexual relation is ejaculating, if he does it, he has done his job.
#80 - taurusguy (01/09/2014) [-]
Silly Americans, European power system ftw. (harder to block the power to **** because the plugs are different)
User avatar #46 - nocturnalemission (01/09/2014) [-]
I would be pissed no matter what, do you know how expensive those things are?
#78 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
The fact that she HAS one is sad on your part. Learn to **** your girl right and she wont need it.
#60 - gaybananaman (01/09/2014) [-]
dum murica fags with their dildos and ****** electricity 110
User avatar #168 - thebestpieever (01/09/2014) [-]
That's a ******** isn't it?
#167 - arcnarc (01/09/2014) [-]
How to piss off OP
#153 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
That'll do it.
#131 - maryjkennedy (01/09/2014) [-]
my co-worker's sister makes $61 an hour on the laptop. She has been out of a job for nine months but last month her payment was $14635 just working on the laptop for a few hours. check here,.,,,,,,,,,,,,, TEC30.ℭom
#102 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
Tin snips might do the trick on that lock.
#97 - nargogh (01/09/2014) [-]
So what? She won't make pancakes now?
#85 - anonymous (01/09/2014) [-]
"We arrive together or not at all."
User avatar #76 - xenophilius (01/09/2014) [-]
wow, i thought that was a hair straightener until i read the comments
User avatar #30 - nigerianblackguy (01/09/2014) [-]
**nigerianblackguy rolled a random comment #795197 posted by device at Video Games Board - console gaming, pc vs console gaming, video console and games ** :
I am not the beta, but the game itself when its out of the beta
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