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User avatar #147 - nextweekisthefries (09/23/2013) [+] (4 replies)
>Be 16
>Dad works for the city picking up roadkill
>I help out on the overnight weekend shifts
>He knows I hate it
>Find a deer bloated on the side of road
>Normally wrap it in plastic, but it's not bloody
> **** it, throw it on the flatbed.
>Drive away
>My dad asks why I look upset
>Why don't you take the night off he says
>I'll drive you tsomeplace he says
>Tell him there's a party I wanted to go to
> ******** .jpg
>Dad goes to the liquor store
>Gives me a condom and vodka and says have fun
>Get out of the car
>"Dad where's the deer?"
>mfw deer wants to party

#125 - mrgoodlove (09/22/2013) [-]
This image has expired
That's why I always bring a deer with me to parties
User avatar #69 - bestminionever (09/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
This reminds me of a story from my days as a kindergartener...
>Be me, 5 years old
>Sitting in class, coloring and whatnot
>All the sudden an announcement comes in that a deer just ran through the school's front doors
>Classes near the door are going *******
>Deer runs through the halls and wrecks three classrooms
>Two janitors are chasing the deer
>Finally the vice principal corners it and ******* beats the **** out of it
>Deer is unconscious
>Children are unconscious
>A teacher is unconscious
>Get out of school early
>It was a good day
#89 - matakeshi ONLINE (09/22/2013) [+] (5 replies)
User avatar #143 - thedungeonmaster ONLINE (09/23/2013) [-]
Sounds similar to a party I went to (excluding the deer). Same exact scenario, loser has house to himself and invites everyone. House gets ******* destroyed, $40000 in damage. Highlights were as follows:
>Someone emptied an entire bottle of detergent into the washing machine and turned it on which turned the laundry room into suds
>My friend poured an entire bottle of nesquik syrup on the kitchen floor and it basically became a skating rink. There were nesquik covered people everywhere
>Someone set a fire in the living room
>A mattress was thrown onto a crowd of people from up stairs
>The patio furniture ended up on the roof
>The shed was tackled and destroyed
>I stopped counting the holes in the walls after 200 and that wasn't even half
>People were puking into the holes in the wall
>Every room was raided and looted
The cops were there for an hour but couldn't do anything due to the magnitude of people in the house. The cherry on top of the night was a guy who went to high five a female cop and slapped her across the face. I've never seen a human run so fast, he took a corner so sharply I swear his shoulder touched the ground. He got away.
Hands down best party i've ever been to and probably ever will.
#75 - bigfoote (09/22/2013) [-]
I know this is probably not true... but God I hope it is!
I know this is probably not true... but God I hope it is!
#62 - squidamon (09/22/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#33 - deansg (09/22/2013) [-]
I don't know if this is legit or not but I laughed so 						*******					 hard
I don't know if this is legit or not but I laughed so ******* hard
User avatar #111 - warbob (09/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
and .. AND .. what happened to the "kid noone likes" ?Did he make friends?
User avatar #120 to #111 - mechaemperor (09/22/2013) [-]
**** , he deserves them. Even if you're a little **** , pulling off killer parties is no small feat, even unintentionally.
#64 - africanking (09/22/2013) [-]
mfw "wigging the **** out"
#55 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/22/2013) [-]
I always read the first and last greentext lines before continuing. So, when I saw:
>My first high school party
>heard that the cops had to shoot the deer
I knew it be an entertaining read.
Cool story, OP
#24 - cdsams (09/22/2013) [+] (2 replies)
I regret nothing.
I regret nothing.
User avatar #109 - tisjunkisdamnfunny (09/22/2013) [+] (2 replies)
k so story time
>first college party
>find keg start pounding beers
>after game of bp college peers offer to smoke
>go upstairs to smoke
>me and friend go over to table at back of room to find more booze
>see giant bag of weed on table
>friend starts grabbing weed
>stuff into pockets
>sit back down and wait to smoke
>senior approaches table
>wtf? who took weed from this bag?
> ***** .jpeg
>big ass senior looks at us
>cant hold alcohol in any longer
>puke before i can answer
>everyone is grossed out
>friend pukes in reaction to my puke
>make run for door
>take a dive down the stairs breaking several bones in body
>wake up in hospital surrounded by family
>one little fight and mom got scared
>she said your moving with your aunti and uncle in bel-air
#103 - thecarter (09/22/2013) [+] (3 replies)
"house looks like the aftermath of a ******* civil war battle"
#74 - steppenwolfvg (09/22/2013) [-]
Or maybe the deer had to shoot the cops?
#60 - hypocritical (09/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
another time that this beauty is relevant
#49 - themodyourgod (09/22/2013) [-]
The tl;dr version
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