Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - furryflava (07/07/2013) [+] (3 replies)
At first there was nothing,then god said "Let there be light!" and there was light...there was still nothing but atleast you could see it better.
#4 - anonymous (07/07/2013) [+] (2 replies)
cough.. phanact
#5 to #4 - duvallwhitey (07/07/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #19 - thecomkiller (07/08/2013) [+] (10 replies)
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
User avatar #2 - redstonealchemist (07/07/2013) [+] (4 replies)
THE TRUTH.
User avatar #17 to #2 - mercyburris (07/08/2013) [-]
all this edgy
#33 - robinwilliamson (07/08/2013) [-]
And on the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee. And it came to pass that all the wine was drunk. And the mother of the bride came to Jesus and said unto the Lord, "They have no more wine." And Jesus said unto the servants: "Fill six water pots with water." And they did so. And when the steward of the feast did taste from the water of the pots, it had become wine. And they knew not...whence...it had come.
But the servants did know, and they applauded loudly in the kitchen. And they said unto the Lord: "How the hell did you do that?" And inquired of him: "Do you do children's parties" And the Lord said.."No." But the servants did press him, saying; "Go on, give us another one!"
And so he brought forth a carrot and said: "Behold this, for it is a carrot." And all about him knew that it was so. For it was orange, with a green top. And he did place a large red cloth over the carrot and then removed it, and lo, he held in his hand a white rabbit. And all were amazed and said, "This guy is really good! He should turn professional."

And they brought him on a stretcher a man who was sick of the palsy. And they cried unto him: "Maestro, this man is sick of the palsy." And the Lord said: "If I had to spend my whole life on a stretcher, I'd be pretty sick of the palsy, too!" And they were filled with joy. And cried out: "Lord, thy one-liners are as good as thy tricks! Thou art indeed an all-round family entertainer."

And there came unto him a woman called Mary, who had seen the Lord and believed and Jesus said unto her: "Put on a tutu and lie down in this box." And then took he forth a saw, and cleft her in twain. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. But Jesus said: "Oh ye of little faith!" And he threw open the box and lo, Mary was whole! And the crowd went absolutely bananas. And Jesus and Mary took a big bow. And he said unto her: "From now on you shall be known as Trixie, for that is a good name for an assistant."

Here ends the lesson.
User avatar #8 - RequieminMortis (07/08/2013) [+] (1 reply)
"To my dearest niece Suzy, the contents of this book are entirely fictional, and any resemblances to persons living or dead is purely coincidental."

At least I THINK that's how the quote goes; I remember a movie having that line (I believe it was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).
#38 - draxdiesel (07/08/2013) [-]
"and god said unto abraham "come forth and recieve eternal life," but abraham came fifth, and won a toaster.
#42 - maxsexington (07/08/2013) [-]
FINE i am the Messiah. NOW FUCK OFF
#40 - bonlino (07/08/2013) [-]
'christ! stop beating around the bush and kill your son!'
User avatar #34 - birthdaybrony ONLINE (07/08/2013) [-]
"And so, it was revealed to Moses the reason kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and this secret was to be forever protected in the Ark of the Covenant."
#29 - anonymous (07/08/2013) [-]
Wakey wakey! Bible fakey!
User avatar #46 - djgeeza (07/08/2013) [-]
"Just kidding"
User avatar #45 - douthit (07/08/2013) [-]
Second anti-Bible post I've seen in the last five seconds. Geez people, we get it. I see more anti-Christians shoving their anti-Christianity on people than Christians doing the same.
User avatar #31 - strangemoo (07/08/2013) [-]
Maybe your bible.
User avatar #9 - dunkdastar (07/08/2013) [+] (1 reply)
what game show is this?
User avatar #6 - Rollerofdouble (07/08/2013) [-]
"And on the eighth day, the Lord created a magical talking hyena and forgot all about us"
User avatar #11 - upyourarsinal (07/08/2013) [-]
i dont know what bible they're reading
 Friends (0)