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User avatar #404 - boomheadshot (06/28/2013) [-]
Q: whats green and hangs from a tree in my front yard.
A: a ****** and i can paint him any color i want.
#381 - bigsaltyballs (06/28/2013) [+] (3 replies)
why do girls like jesus?


< because he's hung like this
#537 - doeskfcdeliver (07/02/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Whats the largest thing in a baby's body?   
My dick   
   
Whats the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby?   
10 minutes in the over.   
   
Whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby?   
You take off your cleats before jumping on a trampoline.   
   
How do you stop a 4 year old from choking?   
Take your dick out of its mouth.   
   
Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon?   
Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.   
   
How do you know your sister is on her period?   
Your dads cock tastes like blood.
Whats the largest thing in a baby's body?
My dick

Whats the difference between a white dead baby and a black dead baby?
10 minutes in the over.

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a baby?
You take off your cleats before jumping on a trampoline.

How do you stop a 4 year old from choking?
Take your dick out of its mouth.

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

How do you know your sister is on her period?
Your dads cock tastes like blood.
User avatar #526 - comicallymorbid (06/29/2013) [-]
So I was talking to my girlfriend about nicknames the other day, and I say, "You know what? I think I'm gonna call you Bambi."
"Why is it because of my beautiful eyes?"
"No, because I killed your mother."

How to you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender.
How do you get them out again? DORITOS

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

Why don't Jews shower? They aren't falling for that one again!

What's the difference between a group of boy scouts and a group of Jews? The boy scouts came back from camp.

Yesterday, I told my friend that I wanted to ride that thing from Harry Potter.
He said "What, the broom?"
"No, Hermione."

My son's school phoned the police because I was recording the school nativity play with a video camera. How was I meant to know It's illegal to film the kids in the changing rooms?

The Mccann's are trying to relieve themselves from there grief with a holiday in Las Vegas. Gerry Mccann forced a shy smile and quipped to reporters as he got on the plane "What goes on in Vegas, Stays in Vegas"
Yes Gerry and apparently what goes to Portugal stays in Portugal.


#489 - modernclassmusic (06/28/2013) [-]
how many babies does it take to paint a house red...   
   
depends how hard you throw them
how many babies does it take to paint a house red...

depends how hard you throw them
User avatar #401 - mrblueftw (06/28/2013) [-]
How do you get a baby in a bowl?
Blender.
How do you get it out?
Chips.
#343 - DoktorHax (06/28/2013) [-]
whats do you call a baby with a broken jaw?



Deepthroat
User avatar #322 - alltimetens (06/28/2013) [-]
How do you circumcise a hill-billy?




You kick his sister in the jaw.
User avatar #321 - afrosquid (06/28/2013) [-]
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
She always swallows
User avatar #293 - bighairyfart (06/28/2013) [-]
If two Asians have a retarded baby, what do they name it?

Sum Ting Wong
User avatar #281 - nighthawxx (06/28/2013) [-]
where did the little girl go when the bomb went off?
everywhere
#274 - queefquizzler (06/28/2013) [-]
What do you call a lonely student?   
A survivor of Sandy Hook Elementary School.   
   
What do I call a girl that can run faster than me?   
A virgin.   
   
How do you get a black man down from a tree?   
Cut the rope.   
   
What do you do when a 						********					 bleeding out on your front lawn?   
Stop laughing and reload.   
   
What do a Jew and a Ferrari have in common?   
They both scream when you turn on the gas.   
   
Why are the palms of 						********					 hands white?   
There's a little bit of good in everyone.   
   
These are mostly racist not brutal
What do you call a lonely student?
A survivor of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

What do I call a girl that can run faster than me?
A virgin.

How do you get a black man down from a tree?
Cut the rope.

What do you do when a ******** bleeding out on your front lawn?
Stop laughing and reload.

What do a Jew and a Ferrari have in common?
They both scream when you turn on the gas.

Why are the palms of ******** hands white?
There's a little bit of good in everyone.

These are mostly racist not brutal
#203 - starrk (06/27/2013) [-]
How do you know your sister is on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
#189 - johnnygat (06/27/2013) [-]
Not really a joke but...
#158 - akatsukipain (06/27/2013) [-]
womens rights
#38 - ceratosaurus (06/27/2013) [-]
How do you make a baby float?

take your foot off its head
User avatar #32 - trojandetected (06/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
two peanuts walking down a street one was a salted.

im going to hell for that sorry if this offends anyone
#178 - flixoe (06/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?

He had no arms.

*Knock knock*

(Who's there?)

Not the boy.
User avatar #169 - valorcore (06/27/2013) [+] (3 replies)
What's red and is crawling up it's mothers legs?

A homesick abortion
i am a horrible person
User avatar #160 - Kaelus (06/27/2013) [-]
Why do black people only have nightmares?


Because we shot the only one who had a dream.
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