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#228 to #212 - xxxsonic fanxxx (05/06/2013) [-]
and when I'm not pleased,
User avatar #206 - soldiertwo ONLINE (05/03/2013) [-]
"i was phone"
User avatar #202 - yojo (05/03/2013) [-]
"Everyone around you is looking around, confused"
User avatar #187 - Nihatclodra (05/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"It is a sin to lay with a woman older than 9."

Then I just wait, and let all the retarded theists die out: leaving only the smarter ones.
User avatar #160 - shishiko **User deleted account** (05/03/2013) [-]
"Agh, dammit. Listen, if you can hear me, we've made contact. This system has been an enigma to us for years. If anyone is alive down there, please... Give us a sign...

We're running out of time. They're coming closer.

To both of us."
#157 - ihatecarltonbanks (05/03/2013) [-]
I'd honestly just ask them to spare there energy.... this has probably already been stated
User avatar #144 - welfarekid (05/03/2013) [-]
"Hey, this is your conscience speaking.."
that's it. confuse them for the rest of their life.
User avatar #114 - OsamaBinLadenz (05/03/2013) [-]
Well, while you guys are sitting here thinking of what to say, I'm sitting here noticing the post said you get 1 minute to speak to everybody in the world, but he never said anything about a time limit for being God.
User avatar #111 - bitchplzzz (05/03/2013) [-]
I'd tell them to **** the nearest person, if its a group, he/she must **** the entire group, or risk being killed by me, god. If this is successful, the entire world will be in an orgy, and whilst this happens, I'll be in my room playing games with the sweet sweet noise of intercourse going on around outside. ... come to think of it, that's just my summer holiday. nevermind
#107 - tesarrior (05/03/2013) [-]
someone got his priority right
User avatar #93 - foop (05/03/2013) [-]
The game
#92 - faggottrousers (05/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I would tell everyone that Asians can read minds.
User avatar #87 - primerpower (05/03/2013) [-]
We are now assuming direct control.
#82 - xxxsonic fanxxx (05/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
"Jesus, listen... I think they are comfortable with what they have right now instead of this "1 wish per human"-idea you have, don't you agree?"
"YOU KNOW WHAT JESUS? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! THAT'S RIGHT, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR PETS YOU NEEDY LITTLE ***********! ALL YOU EVER TELL ME IS "dad, they are fighting again", "Dad, some of them seem pissed at you for some reason." WELL GUESS WHAT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT! LOOK AT THEM, DO YOU SEE THAT? ALL THEY DO IS STARE AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN! well they are in luck... something IS going to happen today... HELL WILL HAPPEN! THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR PET'S ARE GOING TO YOUR BROTHER STAN. BOB, STEVE, SANDY. THEY ARE ALL GOING TO HIM TODAY, I'VE HAD IT WITH THEM... well okay, Dave up in Sweden can stay. he's okay I guess. but the rest of 'em Stan... I still can't believe they think he's evil, I mean they can't even spell his name right... crap, i think i made all of them prophets... oh well, i'll fix it... aaaand do-"

now watch them.
#83 to #82 - wanicochil (05/03/2013) [-]
Ok then
Ok then
#30 - snakefire (05/03/2013) [+] (15 replies)
"9/11 was an inside job"   
"Justin beiber is the new messiah"   
"You are already dead"
"9/11 was an inside job"
"Justin beiber is the new messiah"
"You are already dead"
#27 - lomtura (05/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I would rather be able to do this
#31 to #27 - xxxsonic fanxxx (05/03/2013) [-]
wait, we get a choice in this? cause if we do i'm with this guy ^
#12 - xxxsonic fanxxx (05/03/2013) [-]
"Hello my children, I am god who resides in heaven. I just wanted to say that the church is full of **** , I didn't flood the world it just got a tad rainy due to some storm fronts. Also Jesus would like it if you stopped calling him 'the son of god' he says you're all gods children and he got put on a cross and stabbed for it so as far as he is concerned you're all on your own."
#8 - electro (05/03/2013) [-]
Hello all of the world. I am God. Did you know that sea otters will float and hold hands while sleeping so that they do not drift apart? Did you know that sea otters will use their chests as a table while they float, upon which they use rocks to break open shellfish? Did you know that sea otter feces is referred to as "spraint?" All glory to the hypnotoad.
User avatar #7 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (05/03/2013) [-]
I'd tell them homosexuals are ok and to shut the **** up about restricting guns. And tell the WBC to kill themselves.
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