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User avatar #206 - soldiertwo (05/03/2013) [-]
"i was phone"
User avatar #187 - Nihatclodra (05/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
"It is a sin to lay with a woman older than 9."

Then I just wait, and let all the retarded theists die out: leaving only the smarter ones.
User avatar #160 - shishiko **User deleted account** (05/03/2013) [-]
"Agh, dammit. Listen, if you can hear me, we've made contact. This system has been an enigma to us for years. If anyone is alive down there, please... Give us a sign...

We're running out of time. They're coming closer.

To both of us."
#157 - ihatecarltonbanks (05/03/2013) [-]
I'd honestly just ask them to spare there energy.... this has probably already been stated
User avatar #144 - welfarekid (05/03/2013) [-]
"Hey, this is your conscience speaking.."
that's it. confuse them for the rest of their life.
+1
#143 - kanade **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #93 - foop (05/03/2013) [-]
The game
#92 - faggottrousers (05/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
I would tell everyone that Asians can read minds.
#82 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [+] (1 reply)
"Jesus, listen... I think they are comfortable with what they have right now instead of this "1 wish per human"-idea you have, don't you agree?"
*pause*
"YOU KNOW WHAT JESUS? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU! THAT'S RIGHT, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR PETS YOU NEEDY LITTLE ***********! ALL YOU EVER TELL ME IS "dad, they are fighting again", "Dad, some of them seem pissed at you for some reason." WELL GUESS WHAT? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT! LOOK AT THEM, DO YOU SEE THAT? ALL THEY DO IS STARE AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN! well they are in luck... something IS going to happen today... HELL WILL HAPPEN! THAT'S RIGHT, YOUR PET'S ARE GOING TO YOUR BROTHER STAN. BOB, STEVE, SANDY. THEY ARE ALL GOING TO HIM TODAY, I'VE HAD IT WITH THEM... well okay, Dave up in Sweden can stay. he's okay I guess. but the rest of 'em Stan... I still can't believe they think he's evil, I mean they can't even spell his name right... crap, i think i made all of them prophets... oh well, i'll fix it... aaaand do-"

now watch them.
#83 to #82 - wanicochil (05/03/2013) [-]
Ok then
Ok then
#45 - trickytrickster (05/03/2013) [-]
I'm actually interested in people's serious answers.
#30 - snakefire (05/03/2013) [+] (15 replies)
"9/11 was an inside job"   
"Justin beiber is the new messiah"   
"You are already dead"
"9/11 was an inside job"
"Justin beiber is the new messiah"
"You are already dead"
#8 - electro (05/03/2013) [-]
Hello all of the world. I am God. Did you know that sea otters will float and hold hands while sleeping so that they do not drift apart? Did you know that sea otters will use their chests as a table while they float, upon which they use rocks to break open shellfish? Did you know that sea otter feces is referred to as "spraint?" All glory to the hypnotoad.
User avatar #7 - heartlessrobot ONLINE (05/03/2013) [-]
I'd tell them homosexuals are ok and to shut the **** up about restricting guns. And tell the WBC to kill themselves.
User avatar #3 - bannedfartoooften (05/03/2013) [-]
James.
I speak only to you.
You are the chosen one.
You will make the pilgrimage to the sacred shrine at the top of Mount Olympus. Be there on the 25 of December and I shall make you...
And then the connection breaks and they are left in suspense so they must, and there would be a sign in marble: NOW YOU WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR TITLE!
And they would all be like, woah, this sounds awesome, and I will give the survivor the power of mobile WIFI.
#218 - bopeepwoody (05/03/2013) [-]
**bopeepwoody rolled a random image posted in comment #45 at Goodnight Sweet Prince **
0
#141 - mrloki has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #84 - roflstorm (05/03/2013) [-]
AYO CHISHINS!
YALL'S BEIN ASSHOLES TO ATHEISTS N **** .
YOU SEE DAT **** ?
STOB IT.
RIH NOW.
0
#52 - tittylovin has deleted their comment [-]
#26 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
I would tell them hey are all ******* idiots and they should try harder not to kill each other.
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