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#165 - fukkendragonite
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
"Hello my creations, don't be alarmed. This is God speaking. First thing: I do exist. Second thing: ****, snort and blaspheme as much as you want. But the moment you seriously begin to hurt other people, whether directly or indirectly, you're sealing yourself a place in Hell. Inspire and be inspired, and don't be a dick. God out."

#178 to #165 - anon
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
I like how you're trying to send a somewhat serious message while everyone else is just trying to freak others out and cause panic.
#182 to #178 - fukkendragonite
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
If there was a big guy in the sky, he would want you to just be happy in your own skin, and to love His other creations and to care for each other. Just don't be a dick. Be happy as long as you don't leave victims doing so.
#102 - Accidentalninja
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
Tell them there is no God and watch them be confused as ****.
#99 - drtrousersnake
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
tell them "Hitler Did Nothing Nothing Wrong" would of been the best Mountain Dew flavor
#96 - lukap
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
******* your family is the way to heaven
#29 - captfuckhead
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
"you guys got the ten commandments all wrong. Your clothing pisses me off."

Yeah, you'll inevitably end up with the people who REALLY shouldn't be naked in public being naked....but you gotta take the good with the bad.
#202 - yojo
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
"Everyone around you is looking around, confused"
#197 - drdiddly
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
"Okay listen everyone on earth. There is a dark force coming to earth. It's Satan. He will be coming soon. Beware, he nears. But you can live. Okay, what you have to do to live is-"
MFW
#193 - anikan
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
"They know. They all know."
#187 - Nihatclodra
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
"It is a sin to lay with a woman older than 9."

Then I just wait, and let all the retarded theists die out: leaving only the smarter ones.
#194 to #187 - corundum
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
You don't have to be retarded to consider listening to a voice that everyone on the planet miraculously heard.
#200 to #194 - Nihatclodra
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
If a voice in your head told you to ONLY have sex with prepubescent girls, who obviously can't have children, and you listen to it: I'd say you're pretty retarded. Humanity would die out if everyone listened to it. Basically, I would be stopping the theists who blindly follow what "god" tells them from procreating.
#160 - shishiko **User deleted account**
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
"Agh, dammit. Listen, if you can hear me, we've made contact. This system has been an enigma to us for years. If anyone is alive down there, please... Give us a sign...

We're running out of time. They're coming closer.

To both of us."
#157 - ihatecarltonbanks
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
I'd honestly just ask them to spare there energy.... this has probably already been stated
#114 - OsamaBinLadenz
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
Well, while you guys are sitting here thinking of what to say, I'm sitting here noticing the post said you get 1 minute to speak to everybody in the world, but he never said anything about a time limit for being God.
#111 - bitchplzzz
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
I'd tell them to **** the nearest person, if its a group, he/she must **** the entire group, or risk being killed by me, god. If this is successful, the entire world will be in an orgy, and whilst this happens, I'll be in my room playing games with the sweet sweet noise of intercourse going on around outside. ... come to think of it, that's just my summer holiday. nevermind
#105 - swiftykidd **User deleted account**
+1
has deleted their comment [-]
#93 - foop
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
The game
#92 - faggottrousers
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
I would tell everyone that Asians can read minds.
#94 to #92 - azraelthemage
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
This is old news, bro.
#87 - primerpower
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
We are now assuming direct control.
#71 - magnusos
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
**magnusos rolled a random image posted in comment #597612 at Anime & Manga - anime shows, anime games, anime art, manga ** I would say "Half life 3 comfirmed"
#7 - heartlessrobot
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
I'd tell them homosexuals are ok and to shut the **** up about restricting guns. And tell the WBC to kill themselves.
#3 - bannedfartoooften
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
James.
I speak only to you.
You are the chosen one.
You will make the pilgrimage to the sacred shrine at the top of Mount Olympus. Be there on the 25 of December and I shall make you...
And then the connection breaks and they are left in suspense so they must, and there would be a sign in marble: NOW YOU WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR TITLE!
And they would all be like, woah, this sounds awesome, and I will give the survivor the power of mobile WIFI.