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#264 - anonymous (04/24/2013) [-]
ok one time in like 2nd grade we walked to McDonalds and we got there we ate cheese burgers I asked if I could have a plane one bitch said no so I had to eat the ***** cheese one. as we walked to school I felt sick my friends mom asked if I was okay I said no. I told the teacher bitch that I felt like puking she did not care. we finally got to school it was time to go home so I walked to the car I opened the door turned the I puked like from 5 feet away my mom drove like super fast we got home I puked like 4 more times my mom asked what made me sick I said "I ate a cheese burger" my mom know they make me puke so she let me stay home the next day. but I was puking my brains out for 6 weeks! so the bitch teacher asked why I stayed home for so long I said cuz she made me eat a cheese burger. she was all crazy and said that I will fail so I puked on her and I passed with all A's. ..this had no point...
User avatar #220 - weedwar (04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in grade 6
>watching sex ed video
>girl in video says she starts to feel funny
>suddenly lightheaded
>tell my friend, she laughs
>raise my hand to leave, feels like I'm going to pass out
>can't wait, stand up anyway
>pass out, knock over several chairs as well as classmates
>teacher ******* me out of the room
>pass out halfway down hallway
>wtf.jpg
>come to, look up and she's all the way down the ******* hallway
>never watch a sex ed video in class again
User avatar #211 - kamehamehanurd (04/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
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#305 to #211 - generalwatergate (08/21/2013) [-]
and the dark lord Satan shall devour the body...........................hasfhauinccbywqcbqyvbchvsghajgfashhjghjghjgdhjxbh gdwqdjwqojexwxhndbcfvavdhjd c nfmttu8v5jvn5vn85vmclsctjchfdhjdhdjdjdgdjfdhfbgbbndndjchchhdhdghjghghghguf5y5fhh jkdhvkshcakchnk cjsahfjkhjcafHDJASXHNCWEVOWC HAWO NRHOMWRCOCQMQCNCJXKXJJDMJCMCMCMCMCMCMCMMMCCMCMCMHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELL HELL666 SATAN THE ANTICHRIST THE BEAST THE UNHOLY TRINITY REVELATIONS SATANLEVIATHANLUCIFERBELIALAMONAZAZELLEGIONMEPHISTOPHELES THE DRAGON THE FALSE PROPHET ABADDON THE ABYSS THE LAKE OF FIRE LIMBO LUST GLUTTONY CERBERUS GREED AVARICIOUS PRODIGAL PLUTO ANGER ALECTO MEGAERA TISIPHONE MEDUSA STYX HERESY VIOLENCE AGAINST PEOPLE AND PROPERTY PHLEGETHON CENTAURS AGAINST SELF SUICIDES PROFLIGATES HARPIES AGAINST GOD BLASPHEMERS AGAINST NATURE SODOMITES USURERS FRAUD GERYON MALEBOLGE PANDERERS SEDUCERS FLATTERERS SIMONY SORCERERS ASTROLOGERS FALSE PROPHETS BARRATORS MALEBRANCHE MALACODA HYPOCRITES THIEVES CACUS DRAGON SNAKES LIZARDS CIANFA FRAUDULENT ADVISERS SOWERS OF DISCORD ALCHEMISTS COUNTERFEITERS PERJURERS IMPOSTORS TREACHERY NIMROD EPHIALTES BRIAREUS TITYOS TYPHON ANTAEUS COCYTUS CAINA OF KINDRED ANTENORA OF POLITICAL ENTITIES PTOLOMAEA TO THEIR GUESTS ATROPOS JUDECCA TO THEIR LORDS AND BENEFACTORS AGAINST GOD HE HAD THREE FACES: ONE IN FRONT BLOODRED; AND THEN ANOTHER TWO, JUST ABOVE THE MIDPOINT OF EACH SHOULDER, JOINED THE FIRST; AND AT THE CROWN, ALL THREE WERE REATTACHED; THE RIGHT LOOKED SOMEWHAT YELLOW, SOMEWHAT WHITE; THE LEFT IN ITS APPEARANCE WAS LIKE THOSE WHO COME FROM WHERE THE NILE, DESCENDING, FLOWS LEVIATHANASMODEUSBELPHEGORMAMMONBEELZEBUBLUCIFERSATAN THE END IS NIGH..................................................................
User avatar #210 - kamehamehanurd (04/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK!
#306 to #210 - generalwatergate (08/21/2013) [-]
and the dark lord Satan shall devour the body...........................hasfhauinccbywqcbqyvbchvsghajgfashhjghjghjgdhjxbh gdwqdjwqojexwxhndbcfvavdhjd c nfmttu8v5jvn5vn85vmclsctjchfdhjdhdjdjdgdjfdhfbgbbndndjchchhdhdghjghghghguf5y5fhh jkdhvkshcakchnk cjsahfjkhjcafHDJASXHNCWEVOWC HAWO NRHOMWRCOCQMQCNCJXKXJJDMJCMCMCMCMCMCMCMMMCCMCMCMHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELL HELL666 SATAN THE ANTICHRIST THE BEAST THE UNHOLY TRINITY REVELATIONS SATANLEVIATHANLUCIFERBELIALAMONAZAZELLEGIONMEPHISTOPHELES THE DRAGON THE FALSE PROPHET ABADDON THE ABYSS THE LAKE OF FIRE LIMBO LUST GLUTTONY CERBERUS GREED AVARICIOUS PRODIGAL PLUTO ANGER ALECTO MEGAERA TISIPHONE MEDUSA STYX HERESY VIOLENCE AGAINST PEOPLE AND PROPERTY PHLEGETHON CENTAURS AGAINST SELF SUICIDES PROFLIGATES HARPIES AGAINST GOD BLASPHEMERS AGAINST NATURE SODOMITES USURERS FRAUD GERYON MALEBOLGE PANDERERS SEDUCERS FLATTERERS SIMONY SORCERERS ASTROLOGERS FALSE PROPHETS BARRATORS MALEBRANCHE MALACODA HYPOCRITES THIEVES CACUS DRAGON SNAKES LIZARDS CIANFA FRAUDULENT ADVISERS SOWERS OF DISCORD ALCHEMISTS COUNTERFEITERS PERJURERS IMPOSTORS TREACHERY NIMROD EPHIALTES BRIAREUS TITYOS TYPHON ANTAEUS COCYTUS CAINA OF KINDRED ANTENORA OF POLITICAL ENTITIES PTOLOMAEA TO THEIR GUESTS ATROPOS JUDECCA TO THEIR LORDS AND BENEFACTORS AGAINST GOD HE HAD THREE FACES: ONE IN FRONT BLOODRED; AND THEN ANOTHER TWO, JUST ABOVE THE MIDPOINT OF EACH SHOULDER, JOINED THE FIRST; AND AT THE CROWN, ALL THREE WERE REATTACHED; THE RIGHT LOOKED SOMEWHAT YELLOW, SOMEWHAT WHITE; THE LEFT IN ITS APPEARANCE WAS LIKE THOSE WHO COME FROM WHERE THE NILE, DESCENDING, FLOWS LEVIATHANASMODEUSBELPHEGORMAMMONBEELZEBUBLUCIFERSATAN THE END IS NIGH..................................................................
User avatar #206 - nickiswhoyoupick (04/24/2013) [-]
>be 14
>at friends house spending the night and such
>really have to piss but playing xbox and don't want my spot taken
>i leave after like 10 minutes
>its like a minute away from coming out my mouth
>go into the bathroom
>lights off
>not enough time to turn on
>step forward one step
>step on friends dog
>piss myself cause i got scerrd
>went to sleep
>nobody knew


>until the next morning when they found me in my pond of piss
>i passed out 0_0
0
#199 - thuntking **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #195 - cazabrow ONLINE (04/24/2013) [-]
If your pants are already completely ******* soaked with piss....they're gonna leave a strong unmissable stench...
#157 - jblackmetal (04/24/2013) [-]
I never asked permission. Just grabbed the hall pass and said something like, "Gotta use the bathroom, sir/ma'am." But i did piss myself on a field trip once because we went to Bidwell Park in Chico, Ca and I got massively high and was afraid to draw attention to myself.   
   
Anyone been to Bidwell?
I never asked permission. Just grabbed the hall pass and said something like, "Gotta use the bathroom, sir/ma'am." But i did piss myself on a field trip once because we went to Bidwell Park in Chico, Ca and I got massively high and was afraid to draw attention to myself.

Anyone been to Bidwell?
User avatar #153 - Whetstone (04/24/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>Grow up with a chest deformity.
>After 16 years, finally get surgery
>Because it was a long surgery, I had to have a catheter so I wouldn't piss myself during surgery
>Day two of recovery after surgery.
>Doctors decide that I've recovered well enough to go pee on my own
>They pull out catheter but I get a weird pain in my urethra
> ***************** .jpg
>I think that it probably is just normal
>Feel the urge to go to the bathroom later
>Enter bathroom, try to pee
>It's not working.
>whatever, I'll try again later.
>Nurses come in, ask if I want it put back in. I say no.
>12 hours go by. I'm in excruciating pain
>Feels like a 6 megaton atom bomb is about to blow in my bladder
>Bladder has built up so much piss, However, I still can't piss.
>Demand for another catheter. They say that they will prepare for another one.
>1 hour later they finally come to my room to put my catheter back in.
>I literally am crying from the pain, it hurts so bad.
>Suddenly become scared because I realize that I'm about to experience a long tube being shoved up my urethra while being conscience.
>They insert it.
>idontknowhowtoreact.jpg
>to be continued...
#143 - lorddrakaar (04/24/2013) [-]
>be me in 6th grade
>lunch chow time
>get challenged to a chocolate milk chugging contest
>beat the **** out of the competition - 5 bottles
>mega **** building up
>end of the day
>trying to clench the blowhole till the bus arrives
>nasty wet **** fills underwear like a ******* balloon
>stay as far away from everyone as I can
>never caught
#137 - nyxeos (04/24/2013) [-]
>Grade 5 French class   
>This kid Mike asks to go to the bathroom   
>Teacher says no, too soon until the end of class   
>Mike is too scared of her to tell her it's an emergency   
>Pisses instead right there in class   
>Taken out crying while another kid runs to find shorts to lend him   
>Me sitting there and can't help but laugh when all he had to do was ask again   
>Gif is MRW that's the only solid memory I have of him, so it's the only story I have to tell when people ask if I know him
>Grade 5 French class
>This kid Mike asks to go to the bathroom
>Teacher says no, too soon until the end of class
>Mike is too scared of her to tell her it's an emergency
>Pisses instead right there in class
>Taken out crying while another kid runs to find shorts to lend him
>Me sitting there and can't help but laugh when all he had to do was ask again
>Gif is MRW that's the only solid memory I have of him, so it's the only story I have to tell when people ask if I know him
#124 - anonymous (04/24/2013) [-]
******* brilliant!
User avatar #118 - koalasonfire (04/24/2013) [-]
In fourth grade I **** my pants and just went with everyone saying what is that smell?
So I asked to go to the bathroom, and some of the kids I knew wore shortsinstead of undies , so I go in the bathroom and see some pants and shorts under the stall and I stole the kid's shorts, went through the day, and the next day left them in the lost and found, covered in skid marks.
User avatar #111 - yutdollacwwwthree (04/24/2013) [-]
>7th grade
>need to piss, like everyone else here
>it's almost lunchtime
>ICANTHOLDIT. ****
>start ******* myself in class, bell rings
>go eat lunch wth friends in piss soaked pants
>left piss puddles in the cafeteria seat
>not a single **** was given
#61 - obligatoryusername (04/24/2013) [-]
I have a good story from when I was younger:


> Grade 1
> Have yet master ancient art of bladder control
> Needed to piss real bad
> Teacher would only acknowledge kids who lined up in front of her desk
> At the time we were handing in some stupid assignment
> 15+ kids in front of me
> All taking their sweet dandy ass time
> At this point, only Poseidon may hold back the salty torrent that is soon to come
> 4 kids in front of me, I can make it
> lolnope.jpg
> The deluge of the my wee serpent's tears drowned my pants
> Piss all over the floor going under the desk and touching my teachers shoes
> The gods have blessed me with luck
> Wearing black pants so it is hard to notice
> Only 1 kid noticed, teacher was preoccupied with kids
> Tell him I spilt water
> Terrible lie, he was behind me the whole time and no receptacle of water in sight
> ******* fell for it
>Wipe what I can with some tissue I had in my pocket
> Manage to get away with ******* my pants
User avatar #48 - aerius (04/23/2013) [-]
'The piss ruse was a... distaction.'
User avatar #38 - maxxdavison (04/23/2013) [-]
Nobody knew............... until I told everyone.
User avatar #27 - vatra (04/23/2013) [-]
I know it is not healthy, but when necessary I can hold it for a ridiculous amount of time. I think they longest I've held it was about two days. It hurts like a mother bitch though, right at the kidneys.
#21 - tehphire (04/23/2013) [-]
All this talk about needing to piss makes me need to take a piss
User avatar #1 - mulk ONLINE (04/23/2013) [-]
how weird would it be to see a similar reaction to something like this. someone ***** on the floor, and then feeds the dog laxatives so he ***** all over the floor and noone would notice...
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