Upload
Login or register
Anonymous comments allowed.
#222 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Guys I have a confession too make.
#229 to #222 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Tellus.
#232 to #229 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
I was sitting in the alley way last night
minding my own bussiness when an alpha walked up to me
Told me that he had weed for sale, and something about beer too
anyways

guys I've never smoked weed.



also I stole his weed.
#234 to #232 - lorkhan
Reply +2
(04/24/2013) [-]
If this is legit, don't smoke it. Discard it or something.
#238 to #234 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
.....idk if it was even ketchup...
#237 to #234 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
the plastic bag he gave me had ketchup on it.....
#239 to #237 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
I don-I don't really know what that would have anything to do with this.
#240 to #239 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
is weed usually army tank green? it's slightly wilted and smells of mushrooms.
#242 to #240 - lorkhan
Reply +2
(04/24/2013) [-]
Then throw it away.
#244 to #242 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
but dude_, free weeeeeeeeed_
#247 to #244 - lorkhan
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
And free drug addiction.
#248 to #247 - scotlandspie
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
You are right. I am going to just throw it away and completely ignore it. Why even risk ruining my life for five minutes of being hi?
#253 to #248 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
I know, give it to someone you don't like. And don't openly hand it to them, hide it somewhere you know they'd find it.
#252 to #247 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
oh btw I figured it out, it was just a torn up maple leaf
#255 to #252 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#256 to #255 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
all leaves in canada look the same, I'm sorry.
#257 to #256 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Oh you are from Canada, that explains it.
#258 to #257 - scotlandspie
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
I'm sorry.
#259 to #258 - lorkhan
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Yes, yes you are, you are and don't let anyone tell you that you are not.
#251 to #244 - latinotornado
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Throw it, away. You have NO idea how that weed is where it is now. You have no idea if it's just weed, OR laced with anything. It's too risky. Not worth it.
#152 - juicyjuice
Reply +2
(04/24/2013) [-]
Yeah ill just take the detention instead of letting people know i pissed myself

Victory
#139 - negativeone
Reply +2
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in 3rd grade   
>Filled up on water after gym   
>Lunch comes around   
>Need to piss   
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch   
>Piss self   
>Minor earthquake strikes   
>Drinks on table spill onto kids   
>Piss covered by orange juice   
>mfw Mother Nature prevented mass embarassment
>Be in 3rd grade
>Filled up on water after gym
>Lunch comes around
>Need to piss
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch
>Piss self
>Minor earthquake strikes
>Drinks on table spill onto kids
>Piss covered by orange juice
>mfw Mother Nature prevented mass embarassment
#156 to #139 - burntcheesey
Reply +2
(04/24/2013) [-]
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch

What type of school did you go to?
#270 - tryenth
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be me in third grade
>Recess time, and being me I am running around alpha as ****
>All of a sudden stop in tracks
>Friends all looking at me like "Why the **** you stop playing with us?"
>Start running for the main entrance to the ************* school
>Bitch leather skinned women standing in way of door, says it's recess and she doesn't want to move a ******* finger for one kid to use the washroom
>Feels massive anal probe moving in and out
>I tell her with exact words "Alright, but you know who I am"
>I start running in opposite direction
>Goes to the top left corner of the play field while every kid in school is having a sunny day
>pulls pants down
>squats, ***** with a lot of gloriously comfort (since I am used to camping all the time)
>Everyone looks at me, knows me and laughs
>Being me and letting out a big one made my day
>Teacher runs over pulls me inside
>I clean myself, because they say it's a horrible and vile on the act I just committed
>I had no clue what vile even meant
>They call my parents, parents laugh and said they should have known better
>After that day no other teacher ever gave me crap again about anything
>MFW the glorious thing stayed there for at least a few months before turning into it's surroundings and growing fresh life while everyone continued their everyday recess life.
#254 - warpikaros
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
>be 5
>Playing with motorized toy train
>*******.jpg
>moments of fun
>wtf...
>searing pain
>Mfw my ballsack is stuck in wheel
#260 to #254 - illutvar
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
did anybody else think he had a coin in his eye?
#266 to #260 - anon
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Not since the accident.
#250 - thighhighkneesocks
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be sophomore in high school
>really gotta ****
> bDJ 4DM1Nton in P.E.
>ask teacher if I can go to the bathroom
>nope.
>start playing against a team of seriously hot girls
>get into it
>they're actually good
>start getting serious and go for an ace
>hit it so hard
>way too hard
>**** everywhere
>go up to the front office and the office lady just stared at me.
>My PE teacher now asks me everyday if I need to be sent to the bathroom.
#284 to #250 - AnomynousUser
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
What a prick... Do some teachers not realize that we wouldn't ask if we didn't need to go and that if something happens that it's their fault?!
You should **** on his desk every day he asks you that.
#217 - waywardson
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
> be in 2nd Grade
> One girl has a crush on me
> During reading time she comes up to me and leans in towards me
> Mouth approaching my face
> Heart beating, I'm thinking she's about to kiss me
> Feel her warm breath on my ear, she whispers, "I pooped"
> Laugh in her face unstoppably
> She asks me what she should do
> Get hint of a warm **** smell emanating from her little girl panties
> My innards flip ****, thought I was about to have my first kiss but she legit **** herself
> I reply, "Uuuuugh, ask the teacher?"
> She turns around and walks toward the teacher
> See a round brown spot right in the middle of her ass
> She never talks to me again
> Forever Alone .jpg
#243 to #217 - potatonuggets **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#227 to #217 - lorkhan
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
#201 - chocolatepuppy
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
This is genius!!!
This is genius!!!
#209 to #201 - moseth
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
That hammer is ******* teleporting through the prize goblet!
#179 - crazylance ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Wow, you guys hold your piss for so long it forces its way out of your dick?
My school has a strict rule where we're not allowed to go out of class. For anything. At all.
#190 to #179 - happypancake
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
What about things like family emergencies, or violent diahorrea/vomiting, or something like that?
#295 to #190 - crazylance ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/25/2013) [-]
No one announces he has violent diarrhea, and even if you did say that, no one would believe you. Vomiting ... eh, the kids just vomit and THEN they're let out.
Family emergencies I suppose yeah, but recently we have some smartasses who exit the class room claiming "My mom called, it's an emergency" and just bolt it out.
#158 - frenchgenocide
Reply -2
(04/24/2013) [-]
Since when did funnyjunk become 4chan?
#173 to #158 - andrewolfzoom
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
only because it easier to see cool storys on two sites then to which from one to the other
#147 - meganinja
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in 7th grade
>Always have to piss with the force of a thousand suns JUST before 7th period
> today didn't have time to go between classes, have to ask teacher as soon as class starts to go
>"class just started, you should have gone before class"
>**************************.jpg
>try to hold urine in as long as possible
>muscles on 12 year old penis give out
>pisscano erupts with enough force to have a stream of piss going through the gaps in the fabric of my clothes
>sit in back, nobody notices
>take notes rest of class
>bell rings, go home
#163 to #147 - majormoron
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Legit Levels = Too Damn High
#169 to #163 - meganinja
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
I was to embarrased to have to go be in front of the class in order to leave class to use the bathroom. When I say I sat in the back, I really WAS alone back there, the person who normally sat back there with me was absent so it was me all alone.
#171 to #169 - majormoron
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Then all i gotta say is YOU DAMN LUCKY son.
#188 to #171 - meganinja
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
pretty damn lucky nobody was around to see. Not so lucky I pissed myself in 7th grade.
#115 - whatname
Reply +1
(04/24/2013) [-]
>15 years old
>Visiting sisters house in California
>Have a dream where I'm peeing in a small cup 40 feet away
>Dat precision
>Wake up drenched in piss
>3:00 AM
>we're visiting from Oklahoma and will be leaving for the drive back soon
>Race against clock
>Mom is sleeping on floor
>Go ninja and clean/lemon pledge the **** outta the stain.
>mission accomplished
>scary ****
#30 - missrainbowdash
Reply +1
(04/23/2013) [-]
reminds me of one time in elementary school I flooded the bathroom for no reason, everyone in the school got like detention or some **** because they couldn't figure out who done it.
#31 to #30 - vatra
Reply 0
(04/23/2013) [-]
I set a trashcan on fire in a bathroom once in elementary, I'm not really sure why, but because the bathroom was basically 100% tile nothing bad happened.
#24 - damnusername ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/23/2013) [-]
>Be me in 3rd grade
>last class of the day
>teacher teaching
>hand up for 7.35 min
>teacher doesn't notice
>at 7.4 min, cant hold it any longer
>piss pants
>piss seat
>**** **** **** PISS IS POOLING IN SEAT
>sit there praying not to be called on
>not called on
>walk out like nothing happened
>no-one knows
>MFW

Also I once managed to masturbate in class and no one knew.
#112 to #24 - superowned
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
**superowned rolls 59** can you please tell me your masturbation story? i wanna know how the **** one does that without getting caught...
#279 to #112 - damnusername ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
>sit in class
>rub penis under desk
>cum
>repeat as necessary.
#47 to #24 - thelordofrepost ONLINE
Reply +1
(04/23/2013) [-]
I masturbate in class all the time. The secret is holding your breath and the timing.
#60 to #47 - damnusername ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
and being able to keep your hands out of sight.
#68 to #60 - asschwitz
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
Anytime my hands are out of sight my algebra teacher automatically assumes I'm texting since he caught me a couple times before, never takes my phone or anything just like to make a joke or two and bring the classes attention to me. So that would be difficult, at least in algebra
#75 to #68 - damnusername ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
the joke in our history class is every time a lady comes on screen, our teacher says "hands on top of the desks".
#9 - natethehunter **User deleted account**
+1
has deleted their comment [-]
#211 - kamehamehanurd
Reply -5
(04/24/2013) [-]
******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK! ******* ARE BLACK!
#305 to #211 - generalwatergate
Reply 0
(08/21/2013) [-]
and the dark lord Satan shall devour the body...........................hasfhauinccbywqcbqyvbchvsghajgfashhjghjghjgdhjxbh gdwqdjwqojexwxhndbcfvavdhjd c nfmttu8v5jvn5vn85vmclsctjchfdhjdhdjdjdgdjfdhfbgbbndndjchchhdhdghjghghghguf5y5fhh jkdhvkshcakchnk cjsahfjkhjcafHDJASXHNCWEVOWC HAWO NRHOMWRCOCQMQCNCJXKXJJDMJCMCMCMCMCMCMCMMMCCMCMCMHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELLHELL HELL666 SATAN THE ANTICHRIST THE BEAST THE UNHOLY TRINITY REVELATIONS SATANLEVIATHANLUCIFERBELIALAMONAZAZELLEGIONMEPHISTOPHELES THE DRAGON THE FALSE PROPHET ABADDON THE ABYSS THE LAKE OF FIRE LIMBO LUST GLUTTONY CERBERUS GREED AVARICIOUS PRODIGAL PLUTO ANGER ALECTO MEGAERA TISIPHONE MEDUSA STYX HERESY VIOLENCE AGAINST PEOPLE AND PROPERTY PHLEGETHON CENTAURS AGAINST SELF SUICIDES PROFLIGATES HARPIES AGAINST GOD BLASPHEMERS AGAINST NATURE SODOMITES USURERS FRAUD GERYON MALEBOLGE PANDERERS SEDUCERS FLATTERERS SIMONY SORCERERS ASTROLOGERS FALSE PROPHETS BARRATORS MALEBRANCHE MALACODA HYPOCRITES THIEVES CACUS DRAGON SNAKES LIZARDS CIANFA FRAUDULENT ADVISERS SOWERS OF DISCORD ALCHEMISTS COUNTERFEITERS PERJURERS IMPOSTORS TREACHERY NIMROD EPHIALTES BRIAREUS TITYOS TYPHON ANTAEUS COCYTUS CAINA OF KINDRED ANTENORA OF POLITICAL ENTITIES PTOLOMAEA TO THEIR GUESTS ATROPOS JUDECCA TO THEIR LORDS AND BENEFACTORS AGAINST GOD HE HAD THREE FACES: ONE IN FRONT BLOODRED; AND THEN ANOTHER TWO, JUST ABOVE THE MIDPOINT OF EACH SHOULDER, JOINED THE FIRST; AND AT THE CROWN, ALL THREE WERE REATTACHED; THE RIGHT LOOKED SOMEWHAT YELLOW, SOMEWHAT WHITE; THE LEFT IN ITS APPEARANCE WAS LIKE THOSE WHO COME FROM WHERE THE NILE, DESCENDING, FLOWS LEVIATHANASMODEUSBELPHEGORMAMMONBEELZEBUBLUCIFERSATAN THE END IS NIGH..................................................................
#144 - garbagebrain
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in seventh grade
>Standardized testing time
>Not allowed to talk or leave the room or anything like that
>Girl named Erin raises her hand
>Teacher ignores her because of rules
>Erin's hand stays raised for several minutes, still no acknowledgement from teacher
>See tears silently running down her face
>The dam breaks, pee everywhere
>Busts out in tears
>Known only as the girl who pissed her pants all through high school
#106 - AquariusCyclone
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#103 - anon
Reply 0
(04/24/2013) [-]
>be me in 6th grade
>pissing in urinal
>put dick in pants. still pissing.****.
>pants leg is soaked
>panic but decide to play it cool try to hide it. whole day passes, not caught.
>ffw to 10th grade lunch
>somehow got on subject of people wetting themselves in public
>Everyone looks at me."Hey anon do you have any stories like that?"Everyone busts out laughing.
They knew.
#27 - vatra
Reply 0
(04/23/2013) [-]
I know it is not healthy, but when necessary I can hold it for a ridiculous amount of time. I think they longest I've held it was about two days. It hurts like a mother bitch though, right at the kidneys.