Upload
Login or register
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #222 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Guys I have a confession too make.
User avatar #229 to #222 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Tellus.
User avatar #232 to #229 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
I was sitting in the alley way last night
minding my own bussiness when an alpha walked up to me
Told me that he had weed for sale, and something about beer too
anyways

guys I've never smoked weed.



also I stole his weed.
User avatar #234 to #232 - lorkhan
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
If this is legit, don't smoke it. Discard it or something.
User avatar #238 to #234 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
.....idk if it was even ketchup...
User avatar #237 to #234 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
the plastic bag he gave me had ketchup on it.....
User avatar #239 to #237 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
I don-I don't really know what that would have anything to do with this.
User avatar #240 to #239 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
is weed usually army tank green? it's slightly wilted and smells of mushrooms.
User avatar #242 to #240 - lorkhan
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Then throw it away.
User avatar #244 to #242 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
but dude_, free weeeeeeeeed_
User avatar #247 to #244 - lorkhan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
And free drug addiction.
User avatar #248 to #247 - scotlandspie
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
You are right. I am going to just throw it away and completely ignore it. Why even risk ruining my life for five minutes of being hi?
User avatar #253 to #248 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
I know, give it to someone you don't like. And don't openly hand it to them, hide it somewhere you know they'd find it.
#252 to #247 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
oh btw I figured it out, it was just a torn up maple leaf
#255 to #252 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #256 to #255 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
all leaves in canada look the same, I'm sorry.
User avatar #257 to #256 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Oh you are from Canada, that explains it.
User avatar #258 to #257 - scotlandspie
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
I'm sorry.
User avatar #259 to #258 - lorkhan
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Yes, yes you are, you are and don't let anyone tell you that you are not.
User avatar #251 to #244 - latinotornado
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Throw it, away. You have NO idea how that weed is where it is now. You have no idea if it's just weed, OR laced with anything. It's too risky. Not worth it.
#141 - thefuzzywalrus
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
me when i was a freshman in highschool. had to piss... really ******* bad. the urges in my dick area felt like the gods of olympus have a war. asked the teacher to use the restroom she says "you can wait theres only ten minutes of class left" i say "no i ******* cant" she say back " well hold it anyway". so i walk over to her trashcan pick it up and got to thye corner of the room and act like i was about to piss in her trashcan. she freaks out and says "GO USE THE RESTROOM". mfw
me when i was a freshman in highschool. had to piss... really ******* bad. the urges in my dick area felt like the gods of olympus have a war. asked the teacher to use the restroom she says "you can wait theres only ten minutes of class left" i say "no i ******* cant" she say back " well hold it anyway". so i walk over to her trashcan pick it up and got to thye corner of the room and act like i was about to piss in her trashcan. she freaks out and says "GO USE THE RESTROOM". mfw
#139 - negativeone
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in 3rd grade   
>Filled up on water after gym   
>Lunch comes around   
>Need to piss   
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch   
>Piss self   
>Minor earthquake strikes   
>Drinks on table spill onto kids   
>Piss covered by orange juice   
>mfw Mother Nature prevented mass embarassment
>Be in 3rd grade
>Filled up on water after gym
>Lunch comes around
>Need to piss
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch
>Piss self
>Minor earthquake strikes
>Drinks on table spill onto kids
>Piss covered by orange juice
>mfw Mother Nature prevented mass embarassment
User avatar #156 to #139 - burntcheesey
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>No one is ever allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch

What type of school did you go to?
#270 - tryenth
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be me in third grade
>Recess time, and being me I am running around alpha as ****
>All of a sudden stop in tracks
>Friends all looking at me like "Why the **** you stop playing with us?"
>Start running for the main entrance to the ************* school
>Bitch leather skinned women standing in way of door, says it's recess and she doesn't want to move a ******* finger for one kid to use the washroom
>Feels massive anal probe moving in and out
>I tell her with exact words "Alright, but you know who I am"
>I start running in opposite direction
>Goes to the top left corner of the play field while every kid in school is having a sunny day
>pulls pants down
>squats, ***** with a lot of gloriously comfort (since I am used to camping all the time)
>Everyone looks at me, knows me and laughs
>Being me and letting out a big one made my day
>Teacher runs over pulls me inside
>I clean myself, because they say it's a horrible and vile on the act I just committed
>I had no clue what vile even meant
>They call my parents, parents laugh and said they should have known better
>After that day no other teacher ever gave me crap again about anything
>MFW the glorious thing stayed there for at least a few months before turning into it's surroundings and growing fresh life while everyone continued their everyday recess life.
#254 - warpikaros
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>be 5
>Playing with motorized toy train
>*******.jpg
>moments of fun
>wtf...
>searing pain
>Mfw my ballsack is stuck in wheel
#260 to #254 - illutvar
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
did anybody else think he had a coin in his eye?
#266 to #260 - anon id: 54852158
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Not since the accident.
User avatar #250 - thighhighkneesocks
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be sophomore in high school
>really gotta ****
> bDJ 4DM1Nton in P.E.
>ask teacher if I can go to the bathroom
>nope.
>start playing against a team of seriously hot girls
>get into it
>they're actually good
>start getting serious and go for an ace
>hit it so hard
>way too hard
>**** everywhere
>go up to the front office and the office lady just stared at me.
>My PE teacher now asks me everyday if I need to be sent to the bathroom.
User avatar #284 to #250 - AnomynousUser
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
What a prick... Do some teachers not realize that we wouldn't ask if we didn't need to go and that if something happens that it's their fault?!
You should **** on his desk every day he asks you that.
#217 - waywardson
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
> be in 2nd Grade
> One girl has a crush on me
> During reading time she comes up to me and leans in towards me
> Mouth approaching my face
> Heart beating, I'm thinking she's about to kiss me
> Feel her warm breath on my ear, she whispers, "I pooped"
> Laugh in her face unstoppably
> She asks me what she should do
> Get hint of a warm **** smell emanating from her little girl panties
> My innards flip ****, thought I was about to have my first kiss but she legit **** herself
> I reply, "Uuuuugh, ask the teacher?"
> She turns around and walks toward the teacher
> See a round brown spot right in the middle of her ass
> She never talks to me again
> Forever Alone .jpg
#243 to #217 - potatonuggets **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#227 to #217 - lorkhan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
#201 - chocolatepuppy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
This is genius!!!
This is genius!!!
User avatar #209 to #201 - moseth
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
That hammer is ******* teleporting through the prize goblet!
User avatar #179 - crazylance
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Wow, you guys hold your piss for so long it forces its way out of your dick?
My school has a strict rule where we're not allowed to go out of class. For anything. At all.
User avatar #190 to #179 - happypancake
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
What about things like family emergencies, or violent diahorrea/vomiting, or something like that?
User avatar #295 to #190 - crazylance
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/25/2013) [-]
No one announces he has violent diarrhea, and even if you did say that, no one would believe you. Vomiting ... eh, the kids just vomit and THEN they're let out.
Family emergencies I suppose yeah, but recently we have some smartasses who exit the class room claiming "My mom called, it's an emergency" and just bolt it out.
User avatar #158 - frenchgenocide
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Since when did funnyjunk become 4chan?
User avatar #173 to #158 - andrewolfzoom
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
only because it easier to see cool storys on two sites then to which from one to the other
User avatar #147 - meganinja
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>Be in 7th grade
>Always have to piss with the force of a thousand suns JUST before 7th period
> today didn't have time to go between classes, have to ask teacher as soon as class starts to go
>"class just started, you should have gone before class"
>**************************.jpg
>try to hold urine in as long as possible
>muscles on 12 year old penis give out
>pisscano erupts with enough force to have a stream of piss going through the gaps in the fabric of my clothes
>sit in back, nobody notices
>take notes rest of class
>bell rings, go home
User avatar #163 to #147 - majormoron
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Legit Levels = Too Damn High
User avatar #169 to #163 - meganinja
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
I was to embarrased to have to go be in front of the class in order to leave class to use the bathroom. When I say I sat in the back, I really WAS alone back there, the person who normally sat back there with me was absent so it was me all alone.
User avatar #171 to #169 - majormoron
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Then all i gotta say is YOU DAMN LUCKY son.
User avatar #188 to #171 - meganinja
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
pretty damn lucky nobody was around to see. Not so lucky I pissed myself in 7th grade.
User avatar #115 - whatname
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>15 years old
>Visiting sisters house in California
>Have a dream where I'm peeing in a small cup 40 feet away
>Dat precision
>Wake up drenched in piss
>3:00 AM
>we're visiting from Oklahoma and will be leaving for the drive back soon
>Race against clock
>Mom is sleeping on floor
>Go ninja and clean/lemon pledge the **** outta the stain.
>mission accomplished
>scary ****
User avatar #30 - missrainbowdash
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
reminds me of one time in elementary school I flooded the bathroom for no reason, everyone in the school got like detention or some **** because they couldn't figure out who done it.
User avatar #31 to #30 - vatra
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
I set a trashcan on fire in a bathroom once in elementary, I'm not really sure why, but because the bathroom was basically 100% tile nothing bad happened.
#24 - damnusername
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
>Be me in 3rd grade
>last class of the day
>teacher teaching
>hand up for 7.35 min
>teacher doesn't notice
>at 7.4 min, cant hold it any longer
>piss pants
>piss seat
>**** **** **** PISS IS POOLING IN SEAT
>sit there praying not to be called on
>not called on
>walk out like nothing happened
>no-one knows
>MFW

Also I once managed to masturbate in class and no one knew.
User avatar #112 to #24 - superowned
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
**superowned rolls 59** can you please tell me your masturbation story? i wanna know how the **** one does that without getting caught...
User avatar #279 to #112 - damnusername
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>sit in class
>rub penis under desk
>cum
>repeat as necessary.
User avatar #47 to #24 - thelordofrepost
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
I masturbate in class all the time. The secret is holding your breath and the timing.
User avatar #60 to #47 - damnusername
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
and being able to keep your hands out of sight.
User avatar #68 to #60 - asschwitz
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
Anytime my hands are out of sight my algebra teacher automatically assumes I'm texting since he caught me a couple times before, never takes my phone or anything just like to make a joke or two and bring the classes attention to me. So that would be difficult, at least in algebra
User avatar #75 to #68 - damnusername
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
the joke in our history class is every time a lady comes on screen, our teacher says "hands on top of the desks".
#9 - natethehunter **User deleted account**
+1 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#199 - thuntking **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#134 - anon id: b02b541b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>be me in 6th grade
>first day of school
>had to pee the whole day but i thought i could just wait till i got home
>last period of the day
>i have to piss really bad, can't hold it much longer
>ask teacher to go to the bathroom
>she says no
>i know can't hold it
>ask again saying it's an emergency
>says yes
#135 to #134 - anon id: b02b541b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>walk calmly out of classroom
>******* tornado sprint to the bathroom anticipating sweet relief
>every bathroom has been LOCKED
>ohdeargodno.jpg
>go back to class
>c'mon you can do it just 2 more ******* minutes
>pelvic floor muscle energy almost depleted
>no no NO NO THIS IS NOT GOOD
#136 to #135 - anon id: b02b541b
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
>can't hold it anymore, start pissing
>sitting in a chair, so my pants are ******* soaked
>this is it, game over
>bell rings right as i finish
>OH WHAT THE ******* ****
>wipe the puddle of piss off the chair and splash it in front of me
>the guy sitting across from me looks down at his legs like wtf
>run the **** out of class covering my crotch area with my binder

not a good start to a year.
User avatar #118 - koalasonfire
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/24/2013) [-]
In fourth grade I **** my pants and just went with everyone saying what is that smell?
So I asked to go to the bathroom, and some of the kids I knew wore shortsinstead of undies , so I go in the bathroom and see some pants and shorts under the stall and I stole the kid's shorts, went through the day, and the next day left them in the lost and found, covered in skid marks.
#106 - AquariusCyclone
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - mulk
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(04/23/2013) [-]
how weird would it be to see a similar reaction to something like this. someone ***** on the floor, and then feeds the dog laxatives so he ***** all over the floor and noone would notice...