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#19 - huszti
Reply +165
(04/11/2013) [-]
>Biology Class
>something around 9th grade (im from germany)
>teacher tells us to microscope our saliva
>one girl starts yelling
>"OMG somethings moving here!"
>teacher goes there
>looks at it
>"yeah thats defiantly definitely a living sperm cell"
>girl wasn't seen the next 2 weeks
#23 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Hallo mein name is Daniel, ich komme aus Australien. Ich bin ein austauschuler in Deutschland, ich kann nicht gut Deutsch gemacht weil ich habe null 3 monaten heir gewohnt. Ich möchte sage dass, ich leibe Deutschland es ist so toll.
#26 to #23 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
no, were not burning the jews again, stop suggesting it
#208 to #26 - truebell
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
dude really. Du bist ein blödest amerikaner
#140 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Where's defiantly when you need him?
#156 to #19 - rockamekishiko
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
i've seen that joke every time someone reposts this
#166 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
did that happen? did it really?
#177 to #19 - ImsoObvious
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
couldnt be anymore ********
#29 to #19 - octaviano
Reply +4
(04/11/2013) [-]
God damn it. I want this to happed to my school.
Who am I kidding. We already did saliva. ******* dry maths and words.

BUT CUTTING UP A PIG EYE? SURE THING.
Still grossed out.
#113 to #29 - capinsquiggles
Reply +6
(04/11/2013) [-]
In my 12th grade Biology class last semester we dissected piglets, there was a kid in the middle of the class that cut off it's head, then sliced down it's stomach and turned the piglets body inside out, then he put the head back on the inside out body... it looked ****** up
#135 to #113 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Serious?
#152 to #135 - capinsquiggles
Reply +9
(04/11/2013) [-]
Yea, my teacher didn't care because she was pretty awesome, a few weeks before we had cow hearts and she asked if anyone in the class knew how to juggle, someone raised their hands so my teacher tossed the girl 3 cow hearts and told her to juggle them, as she started to juggle the teacher said "WAIT! Let's go outside of the cooking class and gross them out!"
#211 to #152 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/12/2013) [-]
****, I want a teach like that.
#81 to #29 - burningsmurfs
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Aw all we got to do were the frogs and sheep brains.
#83 to #81 - octaviano
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
BRAINS?
#87 to #83 - burningsmurfs
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Yeah it was quite boring, it looked like a long cauliflower and all there was to do really was look at the folds and what few different areas there were. We ended up playing with ours and then someone at our table smacked it off our table into a girl at the next table's leg and what ensued was much more interesting.
#88 to #87 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
How high did she scream?
#94 to #88 - burningsmurfs
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
#102 to #94 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
So she did the flop before it was cool?
That's a brainy hipster!


Jokes aside, I would probably go "GOD DAMN IT, JO, WHAT THE ****. I KNOW YOU LOST YOU BRAIN, BUT YOU CAN'T DROP ANOTHER ONE!"
#115 to #102 - burningsmurfs
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
Nah we didn't shout anything stupid because our teacher told us if there was any ******* going on in any way this day we would regret it because the **** was expensive and etc. We didn't wanna **** with him because he was good at pranks and chemistry and probably would have made our underwear explode or something for messing around so we somehow managed to act like it was an accident.
#33 to #29 - huszti
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
i hated the pig eye-part. i wasnt really that grossed out but all the girls in class were all crying and one was even vomiting.
#35 to #33 - octaviano
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Your class was a pussy class.
I was the most pussy person out of them all, but I was able to look.
THE DARKNESS INSIDE THE EYEEEE.
#36 to #35 - huszti
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
yeah it was a pussy class, we were 8 guys and 20 girls.
#37 to #36 - octaviano
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
Wow. Too much pussy.
We got 9 girls and 14 guys over here.
Anyways, what else did ya cut up?
Up to now, only Pig heart and Pig eye. (Me and my partner got a FRESH eye. Dead since less than a day. And hard as **** to cut.)
#38 to #37 - huszti
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
just the eye. and that's the only thing we ever did in biology that wasn't just writing stuff or watching silly documentations. that's why i never liked biology class. chemistry and physics were more interesting.
#41 to #38 - octaviano
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Bitchdontgetmestartedaboutchemistyandphysics.
The last Semester, FFS.
Chemistry and Physics? DRYBONES IS A WET SEAL IN COMPERASITION.
Writing down, writing down. Meep.
(Chemisty was meh, poor teach. We only screwed around pretty much. Some even openly played iPods. Funfact: I got a better grade than the kid that I bet 50€ on that he buys his grades or his dad (another teach) buys them.)
My new Math teacher... got from an university. That ****** thinks we understand everything in an instance.
Easy things are alright, but seriously, we had to do every test TWICE we had with him because our grades got so bad.
Dude. The averange on a test about ROOT MATHMATICS was 4.25. One had a 2 (Same kid from above. I tell you, he somehow always gets an All-Grade-1 at the end of the year.), there was one 6, and rests were 4s and 5s.
That's what he gets when being in the middle of parable and writing a tests about pythagoras and getting the test about roots just the day before.
#44 to #41 - huszti
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
well, i had such a math teacher once too. basicly the same happened as you said. no one understood like a single word he said.
i'm from northern germany but lived 1.5 years in south-west germany, went to school there and it's pretty different there. in the north, we made more experiments in chemistry and physics, was pretty fun and i had some pretty cool math teachers there but in the south... holy **** man, poor guys going to school there.
#45 to #44 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Well, we DO understand stuff.
But he expects us to know 3 subjects at once and know everything by heart after a homework that was READING THREE PAGES FROM THE MATH BOOK.
GOD DAMN IT, HIS NAME IS EXPEHNSIVE. WITH AN H. (Translated to german.)
Center-Germany here, and I'm going to a school where my parents have to pay roughly 120€ per month so I can go there. Because the next Gymnasium (not as in Sport-Gym, but you are german, you know the term.) is only reachable by train. FFS.
My old Math/Geology teacher maybe was a bit too strict, a bit of an asshole, and slightly bully-ish/sexist-ish, but only slightly, it was amusing, and god damn it. He drilled it into our heads, if you liked it or not. This new guy? Pft, he expects us to use four drills by ourselves and blindfolded.
I'm also rather a solo-guy. Not THAT many friends, but that might be because everybody is an unrespectful CoD-kiddy that somehow is girly enough to be disgusted if you didn't wash your hair in a week. (I'm lazy at that, yes, and these babyfaces want me to shave my 'stache.)
This entire school is just *****************.
But my Latin teacher is nice.
GOOD TEACHERS, BAD TEACHERS, GOD DAMN IT. COMPLICATIONS HNNGh.
#49 to #45 - huszti
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
im going to such a school too, because i dropped out of school (long story) and i got bad grades n stuff on my graduation (realschulabschluss) that i wouldn't get a real job which i could enjoy. the guys in my class now are all also girly cod-kiddies, but still respectful.

most of the male teachers were all just horny old men. show some cleavage and you get an A. like in sports, the girl with the biggest tits who also happened to show a lot of cleavage (who'd have thought that?) and always wore tight stuff in sports WAS AFRAID OF THE ******* BALL when we played volleyball all the time. she got a ******* A, what the **** man.

and my history teacher was some kind of nazi, not the kind that hates foreigners but the kind that wants old values like discipline, obedience and stuff back.
#57 to #49 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Wow, that IS extreme.
Kinda glad we don't have these horny old men here. Otherwise, that girl who usually only writes 4s or worse would have an A. Even when, by eye, she seems like she got two Cs-ERHEM WHEREDIDWELEAVEOFF.
Anyways, in German, we once read Willhelm Tell.
To sum it up:
Write what happened in a chapter, write character biographys, and impressions about "HOW SOME PROBLEMS STILL EXIST NOW".

God damn it, that **** was ******** to read, I barely even understood the characters.
FANTASY ROMANS WERE BETTER THAN THAT. I KNOW IT'S 300 YEARS OLD, BUT STILL.
History is still interesting. And we once (had?) this silly old teach.
In a nutshell:
"What's 5x21?"
-student puts up hand- "Yes, anon?"
"Uhm, 105..."
"You can answer in full sentences, can't you?"
-all students roll their eyes-


I also don't really understand why german is teached, and why we have to do every single sentence with the latin vocabulary and blablabla.
I mean, the Abitur in the end is just IMPRESSION AND WRITING OVER A TEXT. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LANGUAGE. IT'S ABOUT DOING A WRITTEN PRESENTATION WITHOUT POWERPOINT.

By the way, we pretty much ONLY do Powerpoint-stuff and movie-watching with our other Teach in Geology. WOO, SUPERVOLCANO.

I actually want to go to an University and meet other people. Only f'cktards around where I live.
#65 to #57 - huszti
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
we had a lot of these answer-in-full-sentences kind of teacher.
yeah german class is kind of dumb. learned more about german in english class, had a teacher there once who explained english words with old germanic languages and how it developed into english and german. that was actually pretty interesting.
#67 to #65 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
I'm Acing more Tests in English class than the british guy, really.
Thank the internet.
Besides, I learn more about anything in History class than anywhere else.
#79 to #33 - samanthasky
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
How funny I actually had to do this today. I had to cut the pig eye OUT of the dead baby pig and then dissect it. One girl started bawling saying it was murder and she couldn't do it. I only gagged twice but it's still pretty disgusting. Tomorrow we're hog-tying it and opening up the digestive system. Great.
#93 to #19 - lieutenantpansy
Reply +5
(04/11/2013) [-]
Lüge.
#15 - iamjohngalt
Reply +114
(04/11/2013) [-]
This sure became quickly relevant.
#183 to #15 - swedishviking
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
I WAS TRYING TO FORGET THAT FROM YESTERDAY, SCREW YOU MAN SCREW YOU!
#9 - ballerfifteen
Reply +77
(04/11/2013) [-]
#21 - pocketjunk
Reply +59
(04/11/2013) [-]
MFW eating plain yogurt
MFW eating plain yogurt
#5 - Tatou
Reply -53
(04/11/2013) [-]
You can't taste the sweetness because the part of the tongue that detects sweet is at the beginning, and not at the bottom of your throat.
You can't taste the sweetness because the part of the tongue that detects sweet is at the beginning, and not at the bottom of your throat.
#7 to #5 - punnyjunky
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
except if you've ever watched porn you'll notice it doesn't go straight from the dick down their throat, it goes into their mouth. Unless
the dude is a douche
#145 to #5 - Pompano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
#10 to #5 - trickytrickster
Reply +39
(04/11/2013) [-]
That's been disproven. There are no specified areas for taste buds. They are spread throughout your mouth.
#28 to #10 - octaviano
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
But there are parts that have more taste buds of one kind than on a different place, right?
(If that's not true, my waxcurl of a biology teacher is a dumbass.)
#13 to #10 - derpityherpity
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
woah really? oAo
#89 - CXJokerXD
Reply +31
(04/11/2013) [-]
That's a question you save for Google.
#24 - lolfire
Reply +30
(04/11/2013) [-]
but...but....the spooky ghost...
#73 - vivapinatapro
Reply +15
(04/11/2013) [-]
I took microbiology in college, and it seriously made me terrified of sex when we started going over STDs. Like, there are super motile STDs that can go through/around condoms, and they're becoming more and more prevalent in Western countries. Do not want.
#132 to #73 - Metallicock
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
No picking up bar skanks then
#80 to #73 - azraelthemage
Reply +20
(04/11/2013) [-]
...**** it. I guess I'm becoming a wizard.
#165 to #80 - DJstar
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
to become a wizard, you also can't masturbate.

i think we all failed the wizard test
#97 - pianoasis
Reply +14
(04/11/2013) [-]
Semen is largely made of zinc and water, so theoretically it would taste like mineral water.
Semen is largely made of zinc and water, so theoretically it would taste like mineral water.
#101 to #97 - pianoasis
Reply +13
(04/11/2013) [-]
by theoretically I mean I tried it and yeah that's what it tastes like
#118 to #101 - tylosaurus
Reply +13
(04/11/2013) [-]
It changes according to your diet, so..
#40 - grimmwaters
Reply +14
(04/11/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#22 - bitchplzzz
Reply +14
(04/11/2013) [-]
Just straight up tell them you sucked your own man juice
#43 to #22 - somedumbcomics
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
How do you know it was a guy telling the story?

Guy telling story: gross

Girl telling story: AWESOME
#68 to #43 - vivapinatapro
Reply -3
(04/11/2013) [-]
>girls on 4chan   
Is this your first time on the internet?
>girls on 4chan
Is this your first time on the internet?
#91 to #68 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
>timestamps
#99 to #91 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
hi gary
#100 to #99 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
ohey
#103 to #100 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
it's me
#104 to #103 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
me who
#105 to #104 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
hasbro
#106 to #105 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Why the account deletion? <:c
#107 to #106 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
done with FJ
gave all my other accounts away last night
#109 to #107 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Are you sure this is a good idea? what provoked you to quit?
#110 to #109 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
only thing I did on FJ was sometimes go on friendly board when I was that bored. I got banned and blocked so **** this site.
#112 to #110 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Really.notdashie can me an ass sometimes, he banned me for BS reasons on rolling too. can't you go on another account and ask them to add you back? they shouldnt have blocked anyone.
#114 to #112 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
blocked on all alts
#119 to #114 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
to take you back i mean
#116 to #114 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
wha.....?

no, that's not right. over the course of what time did you ask them to come back?
#120 to #116 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Stick your cock in me Gary, make me a man.
#121 to #120 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
that's not me .-. gtg
-hasbro
#122 to #121 - garymotherfingoak
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Hey, come back. i asked about you on friendly and they said you should be added back by now...

comment on my profile sometime alright?
#124 to #122 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
my account's deleted...
#126 to #124 - garymotherfingoak
-1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Just i dont want you to leave forever because of 1 butthurt mod.
#125 to #124 - garymotherfingoak
-1
(04/11/2013) [-]
What about your alts? what about a new account?
#128 to #122 - chickenz
Reply -1
(04/11/2013) [-]
this is my only alt left
#130 to #128 - garymotherfingoak
-1
(04/11/2013) [-]
how many times did you roll on friendly overall?
#129 to #128 - chickenz
-1
(04/11/2013) [-]
blocked by them
#186 - brenton
Reply +10
(04/11/2013) [-]
>Freshman year Sex Ed
>Gargantuan black man as teacher, can't even fit knees under the desk
>Teaching about protein in semen
>Says in booming voice, "Man, you got yoself a regular protein shake right there!"
>Bimbo in back, "Sure doesn't taste like a protein shake!"
>"WHOA WHOA WHOA! Shut the hell up! I don't need to know that ****!"
>His loud black voice attracts neighboring teachers and some students
>Explains the entire story to them in front of everyone while laughing

Girl never shows an ounce of remorse or embarrassment.
#196 to #186 - itsmedturner
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
This is all a lie. You implied a black man has a job.
#209 to #196 - brenton
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
He's actually now the assistant principal in charge of discipline at the school.
A black man was working AND getting a graduate degree!

... and he was quite scary when he yelled.
#210 to #209 - itsmedturner
Reply 0
(04/12/2013) [-]
D:
#189 to #186 - invalidcupcakes
Reply +4
(04/11/2013) [-]
His face when she said that
His face when she said that
#191 to #189 - brenton
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
Actually, it was more like this
#193 to #191 - invalidcupcakes
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
Oh you make me lawl
#199 to #193 - skysailor
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
Allow me to present you with this gif good sir, if you don't already have it.
Allow me to present you with this gif good sir, if you don't already have it.
#200 to #199 - invalidcupcakes
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Very funneh
#202 to #191 - datgermanguy
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
Or like this
Or like this
#78 - craazhy
Reply +10
(04/11/2013) [-]
the teacher's fw
the teacher's fw
#133 - alucord
Reply +9
(04/11/2013) [-]
because the sweet taste buds on your tongue, not the back of your throat.
#139 to #133 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
The different types of taste buds in different places thing was disproven I think.
#146 to #139 - alucord
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
maybe so, but thought it was mildly clever.
#147 to #146 - anon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
I thought it was a little more than mildly clever, I just felt the need to point that out.
#25 - anonymoose
Reply +9
(04/11/2013) [-]
Mine tastes salty.
#55 to #25 - pulluspardus
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
....same here
....same here
#31 to #25 - lolfire
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
This may seem like a strange question..
But is your name Marley ?
#32 to #31 - anonymoose
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
T'is not.
#34 to #32 - lolfire
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Ahh nevermind good sir.
Your self portrait just looks a lot like a guy I know from town called Marley.
#42 to #25 - flusteredmoose
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Ummm, did you taste is by accident or on purpose?
#144 to #25 - Pompano
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
How do you know that?




How do you know that?
#71 to #25 - ZoeZamboni
Reply +6
(04/11/2013) [-]
Eat less sodium, and more fruit. It will taste better.
#74 to #71 - anonymoose
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
MAYBE I LIKE IT SALTY!
#76 to #74 - ZoeZamboni
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Have it your way then
Have it your way then
#77 to #76 - anonymoose
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
Tanks
#98 to #71 - mythichyphen
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
Can you tell me the science behind this by any chance? Not calling you out as a *********** or anything, just curious.
#143 to #98 - anonymoose
Reply +3
(04/11/2013) [-]
Salt makes things salty. Fruit makes things tasty.
#207 to #98 - ZoeZamboni
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
What you eat greatly affects what your semen tastes like. Fruit and sugar will make is sweet, sodium makes it salty, and so on. I'm not entirely sure why, as I'm not a doctor, but I know that a lot of meat makes it taste really gross. Source: experience.
#85 - phudgepacker
Reply +8
(04/11/2013) [-]
>biology class freshman year
>sexual education part of the class
> teacher says we can write anonymous questions on a index card and she will answer them
> write" i havent had my period for 2 months. Does that mean im pregnant?"
> all girls look at each other in horror
#192 - apellon
Reply +6
(04/11/2013) [-]
if you don't wash your fap sock for a while it starts to smell sweet
#203 to #192 - misticalz
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
I...eh..What?
I...eh..What?
#206 to #203 - apellon
Reply 0
(04/11/2013) [-]
yeah dried semen smells, and probably tastes, sweet. I know because I use the same sock and never wash it. the sock holds it's shape now
#84 - freepaint
Reply +6
(04/11/2013) [-]
#72 - missfit
Reply +6
(04/11/2013) [-]
Don't like the taste of semen? Then make a semen cocktail! jezebel.com/gag-me-semen-cocktails-are-now-a-thing-471364806   
   
You're welcome.
Don't like the taste of semen? Then make a semen cocktail! jezebel.com/gag-me-semen-cocktails-are-now-a-thing-471364806

You're welcome.
#75 to #72 - Kaellnx
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
**Kaellnx rolled a random image posted in comment #44 at Good guy Pringles ** i dont even want to know
#82 to #72 - kingarturi
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
i laughed at splooge sangria.
#86 to #72 - zombiesnipertwo
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
I work as bartender...

mfw if some order one of those
#96 to #72 - decoyoctopus
Reply +1
(04/11/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Sounds tasty...I'd gladly wash one down with a nice big helping of semen pudding!

www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-ba
#90 to #72 - pianoasis
Reply +2
(04/11/2013) [-]
thumb for Chowder