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#12 - perfectionx (04/03/2013) [+] (6 replies)
>Be 2 years old
>Furiously rubbing these milk candies on my penis as I've been doing for a year now
>Know the weewee-less others love the taste of the milkcandie weewee
>Pottytrained as ****
>Sitting on couch rubbing it in
>My mother looks at me wierd
> ******************** .jpg
>Quickly use them and eat them
>20 years later at my wedding
>Bitches love my godly tasting dick and have no idea why
>Mom uses this classified information to try and embarrass me
>Now my wife knows of my secret and she will try to steal my milkcandies
>Noone must know so I kill everyone
>My secret remains safe
+193
#36 - lyraateit **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (12 replies)
#8 - probablynaked (04/03/2013) [+] (7 replies)
My ma caught me using the suction of a shampoo bottle to suck my wiener in and out of the neck, neither of us got much sleep last night.

#27 - romdadon (04/03/2013) [+] (2 replies)
he was born a winner
he was born a winner
#75 - anonymous (04/04/2013) [+] (5 replies)
>be 7... male
>mum walks in to room
>friend and i lying front to back under sheets
>one last thrust before mum walks in
>she doesn't know but i was ******* my friend
>i talk to friend "lets play a game! do the same thing that i do"
>both simultaneously roll onto backs sit up, pull up pants all whilst mum watches
>mum looks at me in disgust
>i ask her whats wrong
>till this day i dont know whether she suspected us to be ******* or not
#76 to #75 - anonymous (04/04/2013) [-]
was your friend female or male?
#16 - sloot (04/03/2013) [-]
>be 14
>friend comes over
> ***** in my cat's litter box
>Wtf.jpg
>later that night friend is gone
>mom yells "Derp come look at this, the cat took the biggest dump I have ever.... wait a minute which one of your messed up little friends took a dump in the litter box?"
<mfw
#51 - mookiez (04/03/2013) [+] (3 replies)
This image has expired
I have a retard story that will beat everyone here ( I hope)
>8 years old and gullible as ****
>Never got anything sweet because of adhd and would spaz the hell out
>Sister comes on room and says she got me some brownies
>badass jpg.
>take bite and get a weird look
>Sister bust out laughing
>It was a cat turd she grabbed out of the litter
>I still didn't understand because I was shocked
>I told her it tasted like paper
>I never lived that one down, even my parents make fun of me for it
>mfw I ate cat **** and said it tasted like paper.
#10 - minator (04/03/2013) [-]
Made me choke on the cereal I was eating I laughed so hard - sadly, it was not cornflakes.
Made me choke on the cereal I was eating I laughed so hard - sadly, it was not cornflakes.
-50
#22 - ohgodwaitimatheist has deleted their comment [+] (4 replies)
#25 to #22 - CottonTail (04/03/2013) [-]
**CottonTail rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Clannad ** nah i just read it.
#69 - ishotthedeputy (04/03/2013) [-]
When she looks over to her son after telling the story
User avatar #85 - theawkwardbros (04/04/2013) [+] (1 reply)
>be 2
>eating frosted flakes with my dad
>Chillin, naked on the couch
>rubbin those flakes on my junk, eating them after
>dad questions me
>show him who's boss
>rub flakes all over my junk
>eat all of them
>dad whips out his phone and starts typing
User avatar #127 - mcsquigle (04/04/2013) [+] (6 replies)
Reminds me of when I was a little **** .
>Be 5
>Hatch ingenious plan to make almost every kid around me get into trouble
>Go to local park with parents where there's a slide that's about 15 children wide
>Remembered to drink a lot of water before going
>Been holding my urge to pee until I went down the slide
>It is time
>Slide down the huge ****** whilst unloading my piss where ever I could
>Other kids keep sliding down
>Almost all are now bathed in the stench of my urine
>Tell parents that some kid got the slide wet
>They take me home so I can change
>While getting in the car I can hear the children getting scolded by their parents
>I was never caught
User avatar #56 - snakefire (04/03/2013) [-]
Double frosted
#47 - colmcorbec (04/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - ibleedbmx (04/03/2013) [-]
hfw
#5 - xonorithedruid (04/03/2013) [-]
I have never laughed so hard in my life, well, maybe but it has been awhile. I mean, laughing like a retarded seal while trying to say the second sentence out loud and the rest. You, sir, made my night. GJ
#93 - djtehunknown (04/04/2013) [+] (10 replies)
>They're better than good, it's great
Reminds me of LOG from Ren and Stimpy, Anyone watch that **** ?
They're better than bad, it's good!
#11 - haaaxderp (04/03/2013) [-]
her face when
User avatar #77 - highwayrydr (04/04/2013) [-]
I was under the impression that was the proper way to eat frosted flakes.....
#1 - anonymous (04/03/2013) [+] (11 replies)
Fake and gay
#2 to #1 - comehonorfacetwice (04/03/2013) [-]
Don't talk about yourself like that, anon.
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