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#12 - perfectionx
Reply +202
(04/03/2013) [-]
>Be 2 years old
>Furiously rubbing these milk candies on my penis as I've been doing for a year now
>Know the weewee-less others love the taste of the milkcandie weewee
>Pottytrained as ****
>Sitting on couch rubbing it in
>My mother looks at me wierd
>********************.jpg
>Quickly use them and eat them
>20 years later at my wedding
>Bitches love my godly tasting dick and have no idea why
>Mom uses this classified information to try and embarrass me
>Now my wife knows of my secret and she will try to steal my milkcandies
>Noone must know so I kill everyone
>My secret remains safe
#32 to #12 - anon
Reply 0
(04/03/2013) [-]
You just told us your secret
#174 to #12 - fuckthepolice
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
I read it as candle for the first 3 read throughs and I was confused as ****.
#184 to #12 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
DEE-- DID THIS GO AS PLANNED?? U LURED HIM IN/ LIED/ EYE NEVER CHEATED/ U QYEEN/ DEECEIPT/ PREGNANT@15- MOM$$DAUGHTET$$DAUGHTER ACTS!! SOREE/ FOSTER WONT ALLOW ANY/ I RE/ DEE PEET COMMUNICATION WITH FELONIES/ ALL FAMIRY MEM BUUURRS/ SO WATCHERS STATE/ BEST DEATH STATE/ I JUST WAVED TO U/ WHORE/ had chance - silenced U SAIF/ U FID MOST WORK BILL/ CHASE SEX/ CALLS/ SCHEMES/ ROUDS/ GAMES/ NAME CHANED/ ON & ON U TAUGJT FIRST DAUGHTER WELL?? EXAMPLE/ MIMI WAS PROUD. ROT IN HELL
#132 to #12 - nathanielcockburn
Reply +4
(04/04/2013) [-]
10/10 would read again
#36 - lyraateit **User deleted account**
+193
has deleted their comment [-]
#185 to #36 - comradewinter
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#87 to #36 - lyraateit **User deleted account**
+12
has deleted their comment [-]
#88 to #36 - allinall
Reply +19
(04/04/2013) [-]
No wonder your parents had ******* birth control pills
#50 to #36 - mrgoodlove
Reply +36
(04/03/2013) [-]
Your mom should have been the one eating all the pills
#73 to #36 - beerholder
Reply +45
(04/03/2013) [-]
****, *****, you almost unborn yourself
#37 to #36 - crazyeyedbioll
Reply +66
(04/03/2013) [-]
Well, they were useless anyway because you are here. Might as well eat them
#40 to #37 - lyraateit **User deleted account**
+54
has deleted their comment [-]
#41 to #40 - crazyeyedbioll
Reply +36
(04/03/2013) [-]
No hard feelings?
#42 to #41 - lyraateit **User deleted account**
+30
has deleted their comment [-]
#91 to #37 - princeofbrokensoul
Reply +2
(04/04/2013) [-]
...****
#44 to #36 - obliviousman
Reply +78
(04/03/2013) [-]
at least you wont get pregnant
#45 to #36 - standingbehindyou
Reply +102
(04/03/2013) [-]
#8 - probablynaked
Reply +119
(04/03/2013) [-]
My ma caught me using the suction of a shampoo bottle to suck my wiener in and out of the neck, neither of us got much sleep last night.

#162 to #8 - skuser
Reply +2
(04/04/2013) [-]
Yo might be probabynaked amirite?
Yo might be probabynaked amirite?
#28 to #8 - andnowducks
Reply +8
(04/03/2013) [-]
What?
#54 to #8 - mookiez
Reply +8
(04/03/2013) [-]
Hey hey, don't feel bad, I did that to. I even would squish are into my little we we and could make dick farts.
#61 to #54 - brytonn
Reply +28
(04/03/2013) [-]
>I even would squish are into my little we we
#14 to #8 - jarelk
Reply +53
(04/03/2013) [-]
What you didn't add was that you were 20 years old at the time.
#128 to #14 - brettyoke
Reply +13
(04/04/2013) [-]
"neither of us got much sleep last night. "
"last night"
#179 to #128 - jarelk
Reply +2
(04/04/2013) [-]
Oh. I read "That night". My bad.
#27 - romdadon ONLINE
Reply +80
(04/03/2013) [-]
he was born a winner
he was born a winner
#103 to #27 - MrMeatStick
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
that little ****** has a mohawk!
that little ****** has a mohawk!
#33 to #27 - cophersans
Reply +4
(04/03/2013) [-]
*wiener
#16 - sloot
Reply +64
(04/03/2013) [-]
>be 14
>friend comes over
>***** in my cat's litter box
>Wtf.jpg
>later that night friend is gone
>mom yells "Derp come look at this, the cat took the biggest dump I have ever.... wait a minute which one of your messed up little friends took a dump in the litter box?"
<mfw
#51 - mookiez
Reply +58
(04/03/2013) [-]
This image has expired
I have a retard story that will beat everyone here ( I hope)
>8 years old and gullible as ****
>Never got anything sweet because of adhd and would spaz the hell out
>Sister comes on room and says she got me some brownies
>badass jpg.
>take bite and get a weird look
>Sister bust out laughing
>It was a cat turd she grabbed out of the litter
>I still didn't understand because I was shocked
>I told her it tasted like paper
>I never lived that one down, even my parents make fun of me for it
>mfw I ate cat **** and said it tasted like paper.
#80 to #51 - kaiizel
Reply +4
(04/04/2013) [-]
Holy ****, I've never laughed so hard at a comment before.
#55 to #51 - yusay ONLINE
Reply +6
(04/03/2013) [-]
I was once tricked into thinking milk came from weeds and I ate one.
#10 - minator
Reply +35
(04/03/2013) [-]
Made me choke on the cereal I was eating I laughed so hard - sadly, it was not cornflakes.
Made me choke on the cereal I was eating I laughed so hard - sadly, it was not cornflakes.
#22 - ohgodwaitimatheist
-50
has deleted their comment [-]
#52 to #22 - thatguynobodylikes **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#64 to #22 - analbreach
Reply 0
(04/03/2013) [-]
Nobody did that and trying to force an admittance won't help your case.
#53 to #22 - mookiez
Reply +1
(04/03/2013) [-]
No, I read it like a normal person. Not like a 12 yearold.
#25 to #22 - CottonTail
Reply +33
(04/03/2013) [-]
**CottonTail rolled a random image posted in comment #64 at Clannad ** nah i just read it.
#69 - ishotthedeputy
Reply +32
(04/03/2013) [-]
When she looks over to her son after telling the story
#85 - theawkwardbros
Reply +28
(04/04/2013) [-]
>be 2
>eating frosted flakes with my dad
>Chillin, naked on the couch
>rubbin those flakes on my junk, eating them after
>dad questions me
>show him who's boss
>rub flakes all over my junk
>eat all of them
>dad whips out his phone and starts typing
#108 to #85 - marioteam
Reply +4
(04/04/2013) [-]
>dad whips out his phone and starts typing taking pictures.
#127 - mcsquigle
Reply +26
(04/04/2013) [-]
Reminds me of when I was a little ****.
>Be 5
>Hatch ingenious plan to make almost every kid around me get into trouble
>Go to local park with parents where there's a slide that's about 15 children wide
>Remembered to drink a lot of water before going
>Been holding my urge to pee until I went down the slide
>It is time
>Slide down the huge ****** whilst unloading my piss where ever I could
>Other kids keep sliding down
>Almost all are now bathed in the stench of my urine
>Tell parents that some kid got the slide wet
>They take me home so I can change
>While getting in the car I can hear the children getting scolded by their parents
>I was never caught
#149 to #127 - comanderspy
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
#150 to #127 - offsprings
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
#171 to #127 - iamwilldabeast
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
THAT WAS YOU?!
#154 to #127 - elmarcocfc
Reply +1
(04/04/2013) [-]
">It is time"
#156 to #127 - Mesmus
Reply +1
(04/04/2013) [-]
YFW
#131 to #127 - mkoala
Reply +4
(04/04/2013) [-]
#75 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
>be 7... male
>mum walks in to room
>friend and i lying front to back under sheets
>one last thrust before mum walks in
>she doesn't know but i was ******* my friend
>i talk to friend "lets play a game! do the same thing that i do"
>both simultaneously roll onto backs sit up, pull up pants all whilst mum watches
>mum looks at me in disgust
>i ask her whats wrong
>till this day i dont know whether she suspected us to be ******* or not
#76 to #75 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
was your friend female or male?
#86 to #76 - brothergrimm ONLINE
Reply +25
(04/04/2013) [-]
well OP? we're waiting!
#176 to #76 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
y-yes it was a male
it was for pleasure though
it didn't seem wrong at the time if it was just for pleasure
#177 to #176 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
i swear to god though
im straight as ****
#146 to #76 - anon
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]
he was thrusting a 7 year old male
#56 - snakefire
Reply +25
(04/03/2013) [-]
Double frosted
#47 - colmcorbec
Reply +19
(04/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#4 - ibleedbmx
Reply +16
(04/03/2013) [-]
hfw
#5 - xonorithedruid
Reply +10
(04/03/2013) [-]
I have never laughed so hard in my life, well, maybe but it has been awhile. I mean, laughing like a retarded seal while trying to say the second sentence out loud and the rest. You, sir, made my night. GJ
#93 - djtehunknown
Reply +9
(04/04/2013) [-]
>They're better than good, it's great
Reminds me of LOG from Ren and Stimpy, Anyone watch that ****?
They're better than bad, it's good!
#95 to #93 - Gerex ONLINE
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]

What rolls down stairs...
#97 to #95 - djtehunknown
Reply +4
(04/04/2013) [-]
alone or in pairs...
#101 to #97 - phantomprincess
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
rolls over your neighbor's dog
#104 to #101 - djtehunknown
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
What's great for a snack,
and fits on your back?
#107 to #104 - phantomprincess
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
its LOG LOG LOG
#109 to #107 - djtehunknown
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
It's Log, Log!
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
#110 to #109 - phantomprincess
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
its LOG, LOG, its better than bad, its GOOD!
#112 to #110 - djtehunknown
Reply +3
(04/04/2013) [-]
Everyone wants a Log!
You're gonna love it, Log!
#134 to #112 - Gerex ONLINE
Reply 0
(04/04/2013) [-]

Knew i could count on you people, thanks.
#136 to #134 - djtehunknown
Reply +2
(04/04/2013) [-]
That was fun.   
Here's a cat for starting the song.
That was fun.
Here's a cat for starting the song.
#11 - haaaxderp
Reply +9
(04/03/2013) [-]
her face when
#77 - highwayrydr
Reply +8
(04/04/2013) [-]
I was under the impression that was the proper way to eat frosted flakes.....
#1 - anon
Reply 0
(04/03/2013) [-]
Fake and gay
#39 to #1 - crazyeyedbioll
Reply 0
(04/03/2013) [-]
go away anon
go away anon
#2 to #1 - comehonorfacetwice [OP]
Reply +7
(04/03/2013) [-]
Don't talk about yourself like that, anon.