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#286 - aulubear (04/03/2013) [-]
MFW the idea of people's zombie survival plans failing miserably and them dying is a bandwagon that a lot of people have fallen into lately.

Quite honestly, if some zombie apocalypse happens, they're just going to get wiped out so goddamn quickly. If they aren't, something has gone horribly wrong, and a lot of people would progress with their plans. Sure, lots would fail by getting overwhelmed, but the people who have seriously considered the situation have accepted the fact they might not survive forever. The idea has come up many a time with my brothers and I, and we've pretty much put together something that would get us along for a while. I'm really the only chink in the plan, seeing as I need medications and such every now and again.
#278 - saladtongsofdeath (04/02/2013) [-]
steps to surviving a zombie apocalypse:
1. (pre infection) learn to fly an airplane
2. (pre infection) master the katana... swords never run out of bullets
3. (pre infection) become a decent shot
4. (pre infection) learn to fend for yourself in the wild (food, shelter, water) (inb4 bear grylls pee jokes)
5. (pre infection) stock up on bullets and canned foods... everyone and their mothers are going to have guns, bullets eventually run out, once that happens bullets will exponentially increase in value and you can use bullets as bargaining chips whenever you need it.
6. (post infection) survive off canned food and water for a couple of weeks and use your survival skills to trap and breed rats/coons/possums/rabbits, any critter with a high birthrate and pass the time while natural selection weeds out the weak among humans.
7. (post infection) now with your survival skills, learn the route to the nearest airport and remember, only travel at night... you cant see them, they cant see you (goes for bandits and pillagers) as far as zombies go, you can use your bred critters to distract them while you make your escape
8. absolutely NO dead weight... chances are that you are probably going to gather comrades along the way to the airport, just make sure that they are pulling their fair share.
9. now using your pilot skill, highjack an airplane and fly to one of the islands in greece... greece has over 1000 islands and some of them are deserted... AKA zombie free
10. once you found a suitable place to live in greece, you can focus on living your life to your hearts content
#269 - aerosol (04/02/2013) [-]
In all honesty, I hope it doesn't happen. If it does, I can almost guarantee my first 4 hours of the apocalypse will be spent crying in the corner my living room. If I manage to form a plan after that, I might make it day or two.
In all honesty, I hope it doesn't happen. If it does, I can almost guarantee my first 4 hours of the apocalypse will be spent crying in the corner my living room. If I manage to form a plan after that, I might make it day or two.
#259 - alexjonez (04/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
#257 - falconxmard (04/02/2013) [-]
**falconxmard rolled a random image posted in comment #192 at 2 kind **
this is what I will use to survive the zombie apocalypse
User avatar #255 - masdercheef ONLINE (04/02/2013) [-]
Probably the best place you could be is in that tank. Also, like some anon said below, zombies ain't gonna get you if you're in a jet or even a Humvee. Just keep all the hatches n' **** secured and you're gold.
#240 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [-]
what if we take all these zombie ideas and send them over to the inmates in prison?
#220 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [-]
A zombie apocalypse will never happen with a military. A zombie can't destroy a tank, jet, helicopter, Humvee, etc.
User avatar #203 - RidingMyPimpmobile (04/02/2013) [-]
Aslong as sheep don't get infected, I'll be fine.
#184 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [-]
I'd like to think that I would last a SOLID 45 minutes.
User avatar #171 - turdburgalar (04/02/2013) [-]
Speak for yourself.
#170 - ohitshim (04/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
for all of you people wanting a zombie apocalypse to happen, ever stopped to thin, oh I don't know, maybe you'll get infected from the start?
#166 - hudspud (04/02/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Since I'm not a fatass I'm already better off than 1/3 of America so I'll hang my hat on that
#195 to #166 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [-]
Kill yourself.
User avatar #140 - jellywolf (04/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Honestly in the beginning of a zombie apocalypse, its all luck on whether or not you survive.
They guy who's prepared for this **** with a fallout shelter and ten years of food/water, could be out in public and be one of the first infected. While the skeptic who never thought it would happen heard about while he was safe at home and locked himself up in his neighbors fallout shelter.
User avatar #66 - notzachjohnson (04/02/2013) [-]
I enjoy how people are talking about this like its a video game...oh houses contain melee weapons and a katana last from 10-15 hits....i found the people who dies withing the first hours of the apocalypse guys.
User avatar #59 - guiguito (04/02/2013) [-]
don't think so
probrably that zombie who starved
besides i can run like **** , and there is plenty rooftops where i live, so, i would never end on the ground, that i can asure you
User avatar #44 - MonkeyManz (04/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
i can't even prick my granddads finger for his blood how can i stab people in the head
#34 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [+] (1 reply)
got a zweihander and knight armor since my dad collects stuff like that :D, zombies can't chew through metal right?
#26 - anonymous (04/02/2013) [-]
#1 - unclebourbon (04/01/2013) [-]
**unclebourbon rolled a random image posted in comment #1199653 at Friendly **
I'm ready for this **** . Bring it on.
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