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#398 - attentivecrane (01/22/2013) [-]
But can they see the great taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
#385 - mrnoodlez (01/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Heres one from Cracked


Sergeant Baker was part of a combined Army and Marine Corps expedition to capture the Mariana Island of Saipan from the Japanese. In the days prior to his final stand, when his squad was pinned down by heavy machine gun fire, Baker grabbed a rocket launcher, ran within 100 yards of the Japanese bunker and turned it into cinder-block dust with one shot.

On the day he died, Baker found himself facing down an INSANE banzai charge of roughly 5,000 Japanese infantrymen flying bayonet-first out of the jungles and screaming, "Long Live the Emperor" Imperial Space Marine-style. Seeing the enemy closing in on three sides, Baker simply cracked his knuckles, swore under his breath and changed a clip into his weapon.

The initial wave left Baker seriously wounded by enemy rifle fire, but he refused to run or back down or show any emotion other than anger. He stood his ground, firing like crazy with any weapons he could get his hands on, sometimes from as close as point-blank range. When he ran out of bullets, he Hulked up (Banner or Hogan, your choice) and beat off the attack with his hands, an admittedly ballsy move that left him even more ****** up.

His weapon was smashed and he was bleeding profusely from a number of gaping wounds when some of his men came up and started carrying him from the battlefield. By this time the perimeter was buckling, the fight was lost and the Americans were falling back to regroup, but Baker didn't give a **** . He knew that dragging his half-dead ass along the ground was only slowing down the withdrawal, so he told his men to prop him up against a tree facing the enemy. He borrowed a Colt 1911, made sure that it had a full eight-round clip and told his men to get the **** out of there while he bought them some time.
User avatar #356 - alphawolffifteen (01/22/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Okay....
The #5 guy had the highest kill cam and had an epic, mysterious name to him...probably the coolest, and maybe should be #1.
#4 Is a complete boss. I mean who can take on 4 people with their bare hands, with several bullet wounds? Not even Hollywood heroes can pull that off very often.
#3 was just stupid...he may have been kind of cool, but he was obviously stupid.
#2 was pretty beast, but didn't deserve second place.
#1 was also awesome, but MUST have been really lucky not to have been hit by a ton of bullets.
Should go in this order from worst to best: #3, #2, #1, #4, #5
#4 isn't the best, I think, simply because he had to have been really lucky to not have had any vital organs shot, with 10-15 bullets in him.
#325 - thessalonaki (01/22/2013) [+] (5 replies)
************ , DID YOU JUST LEAVE THE ******* VIKING AT STAMFORD BRIDGE OFF OF THAT LIST? Alright, well let's tell a ******* story.

This sexy ass George Clooney looking ************ is one of the most badass soldiers in history. He was a badass while these pansy ass milk drinkers were suckling at their daddy's teats and ******** in a bucket taped to the bottom of their asses playing World of Porncraft. When a tough ******* Saxon army came rampaging down a Viking campsite in 1066, those pansy disgraces to Odin retreated across the Stamford Bridge. AND THEN THERE'S THIS DEMI GOD ************ . This ABSOLUTE BADASS stood, ALONE, against the ENTIRE SAXON ******* ARMY. He held of those ******* for hours, swinging his big ass axe about and singing Twilight of the Thunder God by Amon Amarth with Sasha Grey and Bree Olson on their knees infront of him giving him head. Then some scumbag floated a barrel downstream and shoved a spear up through the bridge into this guy's titanium ballsack. You can bet this ****** is in Valhalla.
#293 - xfresherassassinx (01/22/2013) [-]
But seriously this was awesome
But seriously this was awesome
+2
#244 - benjie has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #201 - bitchplzzz (01/21/2013) [-]
The last guy is ******* awesome
User avatar #148 - spookyisjack (01/21/2013) [-]
I smell cracked OP
#103 - anonymous (01/21/2013) [+] (2 replies)
1. Its jacked from You need to login to view this link 2. **** there is no point of putting "the white death" on here, I swear the only people who haven't heard of him are those who either do not have access to internet, did not get educated or got educated in the US, where the only crap they learn for history is their old presidents and thanksgiving
User avatar #162 to #103 - patrickmiller ONLINE (01/21/2013) [-]
HEY DON'T YOU BADMOUTH THANKSGIVING YOU HEARTLESS MOTHER ****** !
User avatar #96 - fukkenname (01/21/2013) [-]
That Indian guy took a lot of shots to the groin...



he probably also killed some of my relatives. Viva la Pakistan
#61 - Azz (01/21/2013) [-]
Big thanks to Cracked because OP is too much of a faggot to give the actual maker credit.
User avatar #52 - everheat ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Suomi mainittu!
#48 - zombiebacon ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Why does no comp about badass soldiers ever include John Chard?
He was the commanding soldier at Rorke's Drift in Africa, where he was in charge of about 100 soldiers.
Now, some Africans didn't like the British being in Africa, especially the Zulus. So you know what they did? They attacked the 100 soldiers. With how many Zulu warriors? Over ******************** warriors.
And the Zulus lost.
Lieutenant John Chard managed to fend off over 10,000 Zulu warriors with only him and about 100 British soldiers.
Plus it made for a badass movie.
-1
#352 - deltadevilbladebtu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (3 replies)
+1
#367 to #364 - deltadevilbladebtu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #321 - omnomnious (01/22/2013) [+] (4 replies)
this was taken straight from a website called cracked
#262 - mooghens (01/22/2013) [-]
You could at least make a slight effort to disguise that you just copied every 						*******					 word from Cracked.com. Guess you were too busy bothering with all those dicks.
You could at least make a slight effort to disguise that you just copied every ******* word from Cracked.com. Guess you were too busy bothering with all those dicks.
User avatar #222 - thatscrewedupkid (01/21/2013) [+] (5 replies)
too bad the air force didnt exist in 1942, other than that its pretty sweet
User avatar #232 to #222 - mrhelmetman (01/21/2013) [-]
Wasn't it the Army Air Corps or something like that?
#68 - happyhadgrenade (01/21/2013) [-]
Courtesy of Cracked.com
#28 - roflplane (01/21/2013) [-]
my EYES!!!! tehy hurt!!
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