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#398 - attentivecrane (01/22/2013) [-]
But can they see the great taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
#385 - mrnoodlez (01/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Heres one from Cracked

Sergeant Baker was part of a combined Army and Marine Corps expedition to capture the Mariana Island of Saipan from the Japanese. In the days prior to his final stand, when his squad was pinned down by heavy machine gun fire, Baker grabbed a rocket launcher, ran within 100 yards of the Japanese bunker and turned it into cinder-block dust with one shot.

On the day he died, Baker found himself facing down an INSANE banzai charge of roughly 5,000 Japanese infantrymen flying bayonet-first out of the jungles and screaming, "Long Live the Emperor" Imperial Space Marine-style. Seeing the enemy closing in on three sides, Baker simply cracked his knuckles, swore under his breath and changed a clip into his weapon.

The initial wave left Baker seriously wounded by enemy rifle fire, but he refused to run or back down or show any emotion other than anger. He stood his ground, firing like crazy with any weapons he could get his hands on, sometimes from as close as point-blank range. When he ran out of bullets, he Hulked up (Banner or Hogan, your choice) and beat off the attack with his hands, an admittedly ballsy move that left him even more ****** up.

His weapon was smashed and he was bleeding profusely from a number of gaping wounds when some of his men came up and started carrying him from the battlefield. By this time the perimeter was buckling, the fight was lost and the Americans were falling back to regroup, but Baker didn't give a **** . He knew that dragging his half-dead ass along the ground was only slowing down the withdrawal, so he told his men to prop him up against a tree facing the enemy. He borrowed a Colt 1911, made sure that it had a full eight-round clip and told his men to get the **** out of there while he bought them some time.
User avatar #356 - alphawolffifteen (01/22/2013) [+] (2 replies)
The #5 guy had the highest kill cam and had an epic, mysterious name to him...probably the coolest, and maybe should be #1.
#4 Is a complete boss. I mean who can take on 4 people with their bare hands, with several bullet wounds? Not even Hollywood heroes can pull that off very often.
#3 was just stupid...he may have been kind of cool, but he was obviously stupid.
#2 was pretty beast, but didn't deserve second place.
#1 was also awesome, but MUST have been really lucky not to have been hit by a ton of bullets.
Should go in this order from worst to best: #3, #2, #1, #4, #5
#4 isn't the best, I think, simply because he had to have been really lucky to not have had any vital organs shot, with 10-15 bullets in him.
#246 - nyanpoptart (01/21/2013) [+] (3 replies)
"Either too dead"
How dead can you be?
#244 - benjie has deleted their comment [-]
#207 - osusuckeyes (01/21/2013) [-]
I came to FJ to laugh, not to read
User avatar #201 - bitchplzzz (01/21/2013) [-]
The last guy is ******* awesome
User avatar #148 - spookyisjack (01/21/2013) [-]
I smell cracked OP
#103 - anonymous (01/21/2013) [+] (2 replies)
1. Its jacked from You need to login to view this link 2. **** there is no point of putting "the white death" on here, I swear the only people who haven't heard of him are those who either do not have access to internet, did not get educated or got educated in the US, where the only crap they learn for history is their old presidents and thanksgiving
User avatar #162 to #103 - patrickmiller (01/21/2013) [-]
User avatar #96 - fukkenname (01/21/2013) [-]
That Indian guy took a lot of shots to the groin...

he probably also killed some of my relatives. Viva la Pakistan
#61 - Azz (01/21/2013) [-]
Big thanks to Cracked because OP is too much of a faggot to give the actual maker credit.
User avatar #52 - everheat (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Suomi mainittu!
#48 - zombiebacon ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Why does no comp about badass soldiers ever include John Chard?
He was the commanding soldier at Rorke's Drift in Africa, where he was in charge of about 100 soldiers.
Now, some Africans didn't like the British being in Africa, especially the Zulus. So you know what they did? They attacked the 100 soldiers. With how many Zulu warriors? Over ******************** warriors.
And the Zulus lost.
Lieutenant John Chard managed to fend off over 10,000 Zulu warriors with only him and about 100 British soldiers.
Plus it made for a badass movie.
#355 - davidavidson ONLINE (01/22/2013) [-]
That feel when I joined the Army to be a bad ass like these guys.

Then I end up looking like this all day
#352 - deltadevilbladebtu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (3 replies)
#367 to #364 - deltadevilbladebtu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #321 - omnomnious (01/22/2013) [+] (4 replies)
this was taken straight from a website called cracked
User avatar #251 - ronyx (01/21/2013) [-]
GO **** yourself OP, you just copy/paste this **** from cracked. Everybody knows you have no talent to write or research something as good as this. Go eat a bag of dicks.
User avatar #245 - chthulhu (01/21/2013) [-]
Stealing an entire article from cracked? That's just ******* low.
User avatar #114 - SnugglyWuggly (01/21/2013) [-]
**** yeah America!
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