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#171 - tuoamas (01/21/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #84 - BigDoktor (01/21/2013) [-]
As seen on Cracked
#82 - mattdoggy ONLINE (01/21/2013) [-]
The last guy apparently had done a crap load of other awesome things that he failed to mention. When some of the men who served with him mentioned these unbelievable things to the press he denied them. Later on in his life he mentioned, those things were actually true and did happen but no one would have believed him. Unfortunately most of these actions he kept secret because he thought no one would believe them and he made his men swear to keep it a secret.
The last guy apparently had done a crap load of other awesome things that he failed to mention. When some of the men who served with him mentioned these unbelievable things to the press he denied them. Later on in his life he mentioned, those things were actually true and did happen but no one would have believed him. Unfortunately most of these actions he kept secret because he thought no one would believe them and he made his men swear to keep it a secret.
#78 - comradewinter ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Even though they were active over a longer period and didn't face extreme difficulties over the course of their campaign, it's worth looking into the following men:

Kurt Knispel (German tanker with over 168 confirmed tanks destroyed)
Vasiliy Zaitsev (Soviet marksman with approx. 300 confirmed kills)
Ivan Sidorenko (Soviet marksman with over 500 confirmed kills)

Both Zaitsev and Sidorenko stopped fighting after a short lapse of time and started training other marksmen instead. The Rabbit Group, named after Zaitsev, accumulated 5000-6000 kills. Not sure about Sidorenko's.

Kurt Knispel would have become one of the most decorated soldiers in the German Army, hadn't it been for his disregard for military rules. He assaulted an Einzatsgrupfen-officer because he mistreated a Soviet POW, and refused to follow hair style uniform. He would've been executed time and time over hadn't it been for how crucial he was to the Axis.
#398 - attentivecrane (01/22/2013) [-]
But can they see the great taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
#385 - mrnoodlez (01/22/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Heres one from Cracked


Sergeant Baker was part of a combined Army and Marine Corps expedition to capture the Mariana Island of Saipan from the Japanese. In the days prior to his final stand, when his squad was pinned down by heavy machine gun fire, Baker grabbed a rocket launcher, ran within 100 yards of the Japanese bunker and turned it into cinder-block dust with one shot.

On the day he died, Baker found himself facing down an INSANE banzai charge of roughly 5,000 Japanese infantrymen flying bayonet-first out of the jungles and screaming, "Long Live the Emperor" Imperial Space Marine-style. Seeing the enemy closing in on three sides, Baker simply cracked his knuckles, swore under his breath and changed a clip into his weapon.

The initial wave left Baker seriously wounded by enemy rifle fire, but he refused to run or back down or show any emotion other than anger. He stood his ground, firing like crazy with any weapons he could get his hands on, sometimes from as close as point-blank range. When he ran out of bullets, he Hulked up (Banner or Hogan, your choice) and beat off the attack with his hands, an admittedly ballsy move that left him even more ****** up.

His weapon was smashed and he was bleeding profusely from a number of gaping wounds when some of his men came up and started carrying him from the battlefield. By this time the perimeter was buckling, the fight was lost and the Americans were falling back to regroup, but Baker didn't give a **** . He knew that dragging his half-dead ass along the ground was only slowing down the withdrawal, so he told his men to prop him up against a tree facing the enemy. He borrowed a Colt 1911, made sure that it had a full eight-round clip and told his men to get the **** out of there while he bought them some time.
User avatar #356 - alphawolffifteen (01/22/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Okay....
The #5 guy had the highest kill cam and had an epic, mysterious name to him...probably the coolest, and maybe should be #1.
#4 Is a complete boss. I mean who can take on 4 people with their bare hands, with several bullet wounds? Not even Hollywood heroes can pull that off very often.
#3 was just stupid...he may have been kind of cool, but he was obviously stupid.
#2 was pretty beast, but didn't deserve second place.
#1 was also awesome, but MUST have been really lucky not to have been hit by a ton of bullets.
Should go in this order from worst to best: #3, #2, #1, #4, #5
#4 isn't the best, I think, simply because he had to have been really lucky to not have had any vital organs shot, with 10-15 bullets in him.
#325 - thessalonaki (01/22/2013) [+] (5 replies)
************ , DID YOU JUST LEAVE THE ******* VIKING AT STAMFORD BRIDGE OFF OF THAT LIST? Alright, well let's tell a ******* story.

This sexy ass George Clooney looking ************ is one of the most badass soldiers in history. He was a badass while these pansy ass milk drinkers were suckling at their daddy's teats and ******** in a bucket taped to the bottom of their asses playing World of Porncraft. When a tough ******* Saxon army came rampaging down a Viking campsite in 1066, those pansy disgraces to Odin retreated across the Stamford Bridge. AND THEN THERE'S THIS DEMI GOD ************ . This ABSOLUTE BADASS stood, ALONE, against the ENTIRE SAXON ******* ARMY. He held of those ******* for hours, swinging his big ass axe about and singing Twilight of the Thunder God by Amon Amarth with Sasha Grey and Bree Olson on their knees infront of him giving him head. Then some scumbag floated a barrel downstream and shoved a spear up through the bridge into this guy's titanium ballsack. You can bet this ****** is in Valhalla.
User avatar #321 - omnomnious (01/22/2013) [+] (4 replies)
this was taken straight from a website called cracked
#335 to #324 - anonymous (01/22/2013) [-]
Except this was literally copied and pasted from Cracked. And OP asks if it looks like OC to us. So no. Not OC. You have a problem with someone giving the source? Go back to 9gag.
#293 - xfresherassassinx (01/22/2013) [-]
But seriously this was awesome
But seriously this was awesome
#278 - anonymous (01/22/2013) [-]
am I the only one who was too lazy to read the whole thing??
+2
#244 - benjie has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #235 - defender (01/21/2013) [-]
No it isn't OC you took it from Cracked word for word
#207 - osusuckeyes (01/21/2013) [-]
I came to FJ to laugh, not to read
User avatar #96 - fukkenname ONLINE (01/21/2013) [-]
That Indian guy took a lot of shots to the groin...



he probably also killed some of my relatives. Viva la Pakistan
#61 - Azz (01/21/2013) [-]
Big thanks to Cracked because OP is too much of a faggot to give the actual maker credit.
User avatar #52 - everheat ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Suomi mainittu!
#48 - zombiebacon ONLINE (01/21/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Why does no comp about badass soldiers ever include John Chard?
He was the commanding soldier at Rorke's Drift in Africa, where he was in charge of about 100 soldiers.
Now, some Africans didn't like the British being in Africa, especially the Zulus. So you know what they did? They attacked the 100 soldiers. With how many Zulu warriors? Over ******************** warriors.
And the Zulus lost.
Lieutenant John Chard managed to fend off over 10,000 Zulu warriors with only him and about 100 British soldiers.
Plus it made for a badass movie.
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