Mike's porn shop, you rape it - we tape it!

Hal's sperm bank you spank we bank it how can I help you?

Bauer's sperm bank you whack it we pack it.

My grandfather answers the phone to telemarketers and says "City morgue you bagum we tagum how may I help you today?"

Normally I pick up the phone and pretend to be a confused Chinese maid.

me: Ah-hello~
them: " Hi is mr shr..shrufnagel..? there?
me: Aya~!
them: May I speak to them please?
me: Uh no ah ahe noat ahea~
them: Okay..is Mrs Shrufnagel there?
me: Aya~!
them: Could I speak to them please?
me: me: Uh no ah ahe noat ahea~
them: Who am I speaking to?
me: San
them: their son?
me: no no San. San Shi San

[I keep them going until they hang up. I need to start recording some of them because DAMN do they get frustrated!]

Heres my brothers: "Hello, Jeffs abbortion clinic. You rape em, we scrape em. how may i help you?"

My dad uses, "Wayne County Morgue - you bag 'em, we tag 'em."

Jim's abortion clinic. You do the dicking, we'll do the pricking.

"Welcome to the Nickelodeon Casting Service, if you ain't funny we uh...um.."
"If you ain't funny we give you money?"
"AHAH OH THAT'S HILARIOUS I'm sorry sir, you're just not we're looking for."

"Baltimore coroners office, we are busy as shit, please call back later."

"Arkansas vasectomy center, don't want you nuts, we make the cuts. Would you like an appointment?"

Bob's abortion clinic, you rape em, we scrape em, no fetus can beat us.

or, "Peter's Circumcision. You flop it, we chop it. Would you like to make an appointment?"

Johns abortion clinic and pizzaria, your loss is our sauce, how may i help you?

>mfw

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4191924/Phone+Sex/

I guess I should not be mad

welcome to the nashville sperm bank
you jack it we pack it

I think when telemarketers call my house again I'll just speak French :3. Telemarketers face when