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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#109 - pineappletime (11/27/2012) [-]
now he can think of his mother whenever he wanks it.
now he can think of his mother whenever he wanks it.
User avatar #147 to #109 - samoaspider (11/27/2012) [-]
oh wow, das made me smile
#106 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]
I just want to know what you guys guess:

How often do you think a girl masturbates?
#129 to #106 - Sylphion (11/27/2012) [-]
I knew this one girl in class to does it every day.
#126 to #106 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]
I'm not sure about anyone else but I do a few (3-4) times a week, and I also have a boyfriend to bone me.
#114 to #106 - scarytown (11/27/2012) [-]
Meh. I don't really even try any more. I used to all the time, but I could never orgasm, so I don't know if that really counts as masturbating. I can only orgasm if I'm having sex with a person, so I really don't bother trying to masturbate because it only leaves me feeling even more bothered than before and unable to orgasm.
#113 to #106 - sgartgirl (11/27/2012) [-]
Depends on the girl anon. I know chicks who don't at all. But I used to do it every day a few times a day. Now I don't do it everyday but at least a couple of times a week. I have a fiance now, so I can just have sexy time when I'm horny lol.
Depends on the girl anon. I know chicks who don't at all. But I used to do it every day a few times a day. Now I don't do it everyday but at least a couple of times a week. I have a fiance now, so I can just have sexy time when I'm horny lol.
User avatar #123 to #113 - albeit (11/27/2012) [-]
That girl = fine as fuck. I cant remember her name, but I remember off of House.
#138 to #123 - azhix (11/27/2012) [-]
olivia wilde.
User avatar #111 to #106 - pineappletime (11/27/2012) [-]
not as often as guys for sure, they don't have a large supply of gunk building up that they need to get rid of. well, maybe menstrual blood, but that comes out no matter what they do.
#110 to #106 - duckslikegrapestoo (11/27/2012) [-]
i used to on pretty much a daily basis, sometimes more than once a day. but now i dont anymore.... i never really feel the need to cuz when i get all hot and bothered.... i have a boyfriend, and he has a dick.
#107 to #106 - crazyeyedbioll (11/27/2012) [-]
really depends on the girl, but they do alot more than they act like in real life. girls on the internet will be more open about it. my girlfriend however is very shy about masturbation, we've been dating for a year and 3 months today, had sex afew times, so you'd think she would be more comfortable, I was her first time. but I guess shy girls will always be shy
#95 - Lachboy (11/27/2012) [-]
I used lube once, and it was pretty crappy compared to doing it dry in my opinion.
I'm uncut though, so I'unno.
User avatar #89 - jippoman (11/27/2012) [-]
I feel like everyone dry dogs. Like I have the fucking time to grab lube and clean that shit.
#86 - thisotherdude (11/27/2012) [-]
Go to the bathroom, lock the door, dry dog it, flush the evidence. That's how I fap and never once have I been caught or even been suspected of anything.
#115 to #86 - scarytown (11/27/2012) [-]
If you're parents didn't think/know you masturbated, then they'd think there was a serious mental/physical health problem with you. You're clean about it and your chicken-choking doesn't inconvenience or disturb their daily lives, so they don't bitch at you about it.
#82 - zaggystirdust (11/27/2012) [-]
you ever get that feel that your parents know you fap yet you still try to act as though you can sneak away with it?
User avatar #91 to #82 - Himynameisjacob (11/27/2012) [-]
My parents both know. Especially my dad. Now I'd like to share the stories of how they found out.

Father: My first time masturbating had an unusual after-effect.
More specifically, my penis swelled up to double it's usual size.
I was young and religious, so I cried, thinking this was god's punishment for stroking my johnson.
I came to my father about it.
He is a pastor.
"Dude, use lotion. What did you expect to happen?"

Mother: So I was visiting some old friends, when one came along and through a bag at me.
Inside was a never-before-opened Pocket-Pussy. It was mostly a gag, but god dammit it sounded fun.
So I took it home with me.
I used it a few times, frequently the first week, then less so until I eventually stopped using it altogether.
..however, I left it on my bedside table, covered in tissues.
My mother decided to clean my room while I was at school.
She was wobbling it around, and asked my dad what it was.
Now she knows.
#121 to #91 - handyofdoom (11/27/2012) [-]
ahh, i remember the first time i ever used lotion. i was just a young lad, maybe 13. i was about to shower and i was really horny, and someone told me lotion is good, so i got some and got in the shower with my back to the shower-head. best 15 minutes of my life.

pic related?
#102 to #91 - tormenttheweak (11/27/2012) [-]
"Dude, use lotion. What did you expect to happen?"

your dad sounds like a pretty cool pastor
User avatar #92 to #91 - Himynameisjacob (11/27/2012) [-]
Grammar: 1
Me: 0
User avatar #79 - morbidbreath (11/27/2012) [-]
thats totally a step-mom.
#77 - bigsaltyballs (11/27/2012) [-]

mfw pud wrestler

nutsack chutney
User avatar #69 - xldarkking (11/27/2012) [-]
Does anybody else dry fap? or am i alone?
#151 to #69 - captianrofolsuras (11/27/2012) [-]
#119 to #69 - sstony (11/27/2012) [-]
I have callouses on my hands from work. If I don't lube up at least a little I chafe, which is no bueno.
#112 to #69 - leetlewetbeaner (11/27/2012) [-]
Call me lazy, but with all the lotion and cum, it's just too much to clean up.
User avatar #96 to #69 - ugottanked (11/27/2012) [-]
if i dry dog it too much, that shit hurts
#83 to #69 - thisotherdude (11/27/2012) [-]
I always dry dog that shit.
User avatar #80 to #69 - curtkobain (11/27/2012) [-]
on a rare occasion I'll do it use lotion.
User avatar #101 to #80 - xldarkking (11/27/2012) [-]
dont know why you got red thumbed. to each his own.
#116 to #101 - scarytown (11/27/2012) [-]
probably his grammar
User avatar #75 to #69 - wafflekings ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
as do I, getting lotion takes too much time.
#58 - niterider (11/27/2012) [-]
I just finished masturbating less than 2 minutes ago and now my dick hurts a fuck load. I think ive been beating it to hard lately because my dick feels like its being burned by a thousand suns. Im actually a little concerned. Thoughts please.

What do i do Funny Junk?
User avatar #87 to #58 - skylinebeast (11/27/2012) [-]
i heard rubbing it on a cheese grater relieves pain wuickly
#71 to #58 - defacedcreeper (11/27/2012) [-]
any questions?
User avatar #90 to #71 - vipersixtyfour (11/27/2012) [-]
AP Physics C coming back to me... Must refrain from calculating for friction...
User avatar #67 to #58 - lmOldGreg (11/27/2012) [-]
Use vinegar next time.
User avatar #68 to #67 - niterider (11/27/2012) [-]
Finally, someone gives me a valuable solution.
#105 to #68 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]

It's funny because vinegar is a solution of dilute acetic acid and also because solution also means answer!
#64 to #58 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]
how much have you been masturbating? If a lot you it could just be that your dick is tired from masturbating. i had this happen to me a few weeks ago. If it doesn't go away in the next hour or two you may want to seek help
#66 to #64 - narwhalsnballs **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #70 to #66 - riventhexile (11/27/2012) [-]
#62 to #58 - narwhalsnballs **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #63 to #62 - niterider (11/27/2012) [-]
In a perfect world.
User avatar #57 - ilovetocuddle (11/27/2012) [-]
I had a condition that required me to take long shits. little does my family know I no longer have it.
#55 - cakeisawesome **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#61 to #55 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]
Michigan is shaped like a glove, reference to a hand.
User avatar #60 to #55 - hangmansnoose (11/27/2012) [-]
Michigan girls are ugly and can be compared to a mans hand. thats my guess
User avatar #52 - tgeatziv (11/27/2012) [-]
Why do I the funniest part of this the little bow on the lubricant?
#125 to #52 - anonymous (11/27/2012) [-]
Fuck you, I can't stop laughing
#85 to #52 - 1234321 (11/27/2012) [-]
son, you just accidentally your brain
#73 to #52 - whatdafuq (11/27/2012) [-]
I wrote this about 5 times....   
mfw I read this over and over again
I wrote this about 5 times....
mfw I read this over and over again
#53 to #52 - chopsaw (11/27/2012) [-]
i'm no grammar nazi, but holy shit
User avatar #59 to #53 - tgeatziv (11/27/2012) [-]
I really need to learn to spell check before posting. :/
User avatar #54 to #53 - dxninjaxo (11/27/2012) [-]
I think I just went full Grammar Nazi mode.... I read it as "Why do I find the funniest part of this to be the little bow on the lubricant?".
#51 - deathbyrevenge (11/27/2012) [-]
I swear mom, I was just cleaning it and it went offl
User avatar #49 - demandsgayversion (11/27/2012) [-]
I always wonder if I make it completely obvious when I'm fapping, or if I'm just that good at never getting caught.
#120 to #49 - scarytown (11/27/2012) [-]
When I first became sexually active, I thought it was pretty obvious to everyone what I was doing and I figured they didn't care. The walls to my room are paper thin and my parents house shakes at the smallest movement. When we broke up, my mom said "at least you still have your virginity." To this day, I still can't tell if my mom is incredibly stupid, or was being incredibly mean.
#47 - alucord ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
Never have I heard so many euphemism for masterbate.
User avatar #46 - IamEllis (11/27/2012) [-]
it would be ven more awkward if u took it
User avatar #50 to #46 - viatio ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
Who wouldn't?
#44 - timmyyocum (11/27/2012) [-]
MFW i hear a knock on the door right after
MFW i hear a knock on the door right after
#37 - wehavecandy (11/27/2012) [-]
My mom walked into my room when I was masturbating today. She turned around and walked back out.
User avatar #56 to #37 - blurpleman (11/27/2012) [-]
My mom walked in on me. She wouldn't have but the dog was outside the door whining so she went to let her in my room..
NOTE: I would have the doors locked but the lock on the door & the spot on the frame are way off.
User avatar #39 to #37 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
you should've stared her in the eyes and finished
#40 to #39 - wehavecandy (11/27/2012) [-]
I was definitely going to do that, but she left too quickly. Anyway, my mom's pretty chill. She has offered to buy me condoms before.
User avatar #48 to #40 - ronyx ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
She wants the dick dude.
User avatar #41 to #40 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
Ive never been caught fapping but my mother is a mix between prude and old-fashioned, so I wouldn't expect her to be 'rnomal' about it, i'd expect some sort of freak out
#43 to #41 - wehavecandy (11/27/2012) [-]
Old fashioned.
User avatar #45 to #43 - swimmingprodigy ONLINE (11/27/2012) [-]
yea...she's 54. That probably has something to do with it.
#36 - bothemastaofall (11/27/2012) [-]
Greatest mom ever?
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