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User avatar #59 - rplix (11/17/2012) [-]
Rape is the oldest profession.
#54 - saladtongsofdeath (11/17/2012) [-]
This image has expired
its nice to see that they worked out their problems through farming
User avatar #58 to #54 - mayormilkman (11/17/2012) [-]
It has been so long since the last time I have seen this rhino, and I'm currently thumb banned.

This reply is to show that I like you for this comment, sir.
#88 to #58 - Dwarf (11/17/2012) [-]
**Dwarf rolled a random image posted in comment #238 at Puppys ** Why are you thumb banned?
User avatar #93 to #88 - mayormilkman (11/17/2012) [-]
I have no idea. Maybe I thumbed up something that got flagged. I don't recall how it works.

Also, great username you have there.
#53 - alucardshellhound (11/17/2012) [-]
**alucardshellhound rolled a random image posted in comment #43 at Hitler did nothing wrong **
#51 - drdisrespect ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
it's not the worlds oldest profession
User avatar #55 to #51 - isradam (11/17/2012) [-]
Science says it is.
#68 to #55 - justtocomment (11/17/2012) [-]
Gotta say, that's some ******** . Prostitution can't be the world's oldest profession, because prostitutes get paid in one shape or form. How was the first prostitute paid? The John had the first profession, by providing food/shelter in excess and then using that excess to collect less necessary things, he made it his source of "income" in a sense.
User avatar #141 to #68 - timmywankenobi (11/17/2012) [-]
the first prostitute was probably paid with food, ergo it is one of the oldest profession but not the oldest. how ever both monkeys and penguins have prostitutes and they have been around longer then humans so ..have at you.
User avatar #78 to #68 - isradam (11/17/2012) [-]
They sold themselves for food, shelter and sometimes land.
#80 to #78 - justtocomment (11/17/2012) [-]
Then the person providing food, shelter, or land had a profession first because they had that commodity to sell. The hunter sells his food, the renter/builder sells a portion of the house, and the property trader sells his land.
For the prostitute to get paid for sex, there has to be payment coming from somewhere else. "Somewhere else" is the location of a profession older than prostitution.
User avatar #99 to #80 - isradam (11/17/2012) [-]
YES. YOU NEED A PROFESSION TO LIVE IN A CAVE.
#156 to #99 - drdisrespect ONLINE (11/21/2012) [-]
yes, they were protectors
#108 to #99 - justtocomment (11/17/2012) [-]
No, but once you give someone part of that cave in exchange for something you become a property owner with rights to renting. Essentially, you become a caveman real estate agent.
A prostitute (we'll call her Sprinkles) trades sex for things she needs (at least in this argument). The client (we'll call him Urg because he's a caveman) survives by picking berries and hunting deer. Sprinkles can't hunt deer of her own, and she needs a cave to sleep in. She finds Urg, and asks shelter. Urg requests sex. Those two now have the professions of prostitute and homeowner. The next day, Sprinkles needs food. Urg has only gotten enough for himself, so Sprinkles goes out to find someone with more. A second client (Ooga) hears of Urg's trade, and wants sex as well. That morning, he goes out and kills 2 deer instead of just one. He then trades that deer for sex with Sprinkles. Because Ooga forgoes survival, gathers a surplus, and then distributes said surplus to bring him things not necessary to personal survival (because they're selling sex for pleasure, not procreation) and therefore has given himself the profession/occupation/job of hunter.
User avatar #110 to #108 - isradam (11/17/2012) [-]
That made my day.
User avatar #50 - DrBobsPatient (11/17/2012) [-]
well you could do what the old Hawaiian culture was like. They only brought food and everything else to tribe and didn't have marriages, they just had sex with anyone they wanted to.
User avatar #62 to #50 - buttplugmaster (11/17/2012) [-]
Tito would like to teach you kids about what the Ancient Hawaiians used to say...
User avatar #64 to #62 - DrBobsPatient (11/17/2012) [-]
totally read the "ancient hawaiians used to say" bit in his voice lol. Oh how i miss that show.
#48 - deathrinderalta (11/17/2012) [-]






The trading of some sort of goods or services for sex has been around a lot longer than that, and isn't unique to the human race
#69 to #48 - thepartygod (11/17/2012) [-]
isn't unique to the human race?    
Are you saying I can pay a horse and it will have sex with me?
isn't unique to the human race?
Are you saying I can pay a horse and it will have sex with me?
User avatar #70 to #69 - heartlessrobot (11/17/2012) [-]
Nah, I'm certain he would mind sticking it in a tighter hole than he's used to.
User avatar #47 - indecisivejew (11/17/2012) [-]
Because there were certainly marriages and stable currencies in 1800 BC. Also, would it kill any content makers to make comics that don't consist of ****** recycled images?
0
#41 - getoutoftheshower has deleted their comment [-]
#39 - baloonwalrus (11/17/2012) [-]
>implying that they had stable currency back in 1800 b.c.

img unrelated
User avatar #46 to #39 - whitenerdy (11/17/2012) [-]
They Developed Banking in Mesopotamia around c. 3000 - c. 2000 BC.

> Implying the joke would be funny if the man said "You just want my applied currency value that we use in the following area where we're currently located!"
User avatar #38 - peepeethesailor (11/17/2012) [-]
FJ I NEED YOUR HELP I LOST MY DOG HE RAN OFF HIS LEASH INTO THE SUNSET AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS PLEASE GUYS HELP ME PLEASE I LOVE MY DOG SO MUCH PLEASE DON'T LET HIM DIE HE IS IN YOUR HANDS NOW DON'T UPSET ME FUNNYJUNK I WILL ALWAYS MAKE LOVE TO YOU IF YOU FIND HIM PLEASE HELP ME OUT I PROMISE I WON'T EVER CALL YOU GUYS ******* LIGGERS AGAIN PLEASE GUYS PLEASE I JUST NEED HIM PLEASE FJ PLEASE OH MY JESUS CHRIST AND ALLAH AND GOD AND ZEUS AND BUDDHA PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!
#65 to #38 - syrialsin (11/17/2012) [-]
Found it.
Found it.
#56 to #38 - alwaysreadthetags (11/17/2012) [-]
meh, don't really give a ****
+1
#44 to #38 - freespeech has deleted their comment [-]
+4
#40 to #38 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #101 to #40 - manhandled (11/17/2012) [-]
You wouldn't believe how many times people use my name
User avatar #42 to #40 - peepeethesailor (11/17/2012) [-]
OH THAT MUST BE WHERE MY DOG WENT THEN DO YOU SEE HIM ANYWHERE
User avatar #84 to #42 - cupcakedevourer (11/17/2012) [-]
What age are you?
User avatar #45 to #42 - Somedood (11/17/2012) [-]
you must be 12.
+2
#43 to #42 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
#34 - Haane (11/17/2012) [-]
Is it really the oldest? Because if a man paid a woman a fish for sex, then fishing would then be the oldest profession.
User avatar #75 to #34 - pukingrainbows (11/17/2012) [-]
It's not a profession in that regard. Nobody is paying him to do it. Reaping the fruit of one's own labor isn't a profession, doing work for somebody else in exchange for payment is a profession.
#102 to #75 - Haane (11/17/2012) [-]
Thank you kind sir for clearing that up
#29 - bigsaltyballs (11/17/2012) [-]
to OP:



change your socks and drive on.
0
#28 - beatmasterz has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #24 - Loppytaffy (11/17/2012) [-]
1800?
Lol no.
Ishtar- the goddess of sexuality and prostitution (and for those who watched yugioh, you finally know what Bakura got out of that partnership) has been around since before 2000bc.
#33 to #24 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [-]
and now you know why you're a very sad man..............you're a very sad man if you believe in cartoons.......especially if you think they are REAL..........they are FICTION, not reality! stop it now.........
User avatar #49 to #33 - Loppytaffy (11/17/2012) [-]
Dude, I think you'll find most characters and egpytian cards are based off egyptian gods.
Set(o) and Nephthys were twins, and the older siblings of twins Osiris (slifer's original name) and isis (ishizu's original name). They were all great-grandchildren of Atum (or Atem- the original god. but also the son of Ptah- he for whom Egypt is named). They were grandchildren of twins Shu and Tefnut, and children of twins Nut and Geb. Set and Isis are parents of Anubus. Isis and Osiris were parents of Horus.

There was a god called Bahku, who may or may not have merged with Ra to become Bahku-ra.
User avatar #36 to #33 - inomonym (11/17/2012) [-]
Loppytaffy never said Yugioh was real, there are just references in it relevant to the point attempted to be made.
#25 to #24 - joeywolfreturns (11/17/2012) [-]
Epic of Gilgamesh. Nice reference, Loppytaffy.
User avatar #98 to #25 - bulbakip ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
oldest book too, right?
#154 to #98 - joeywolfreturns (11/18/2012) [-]
It is believed to be.
#23 - canadienwulrus (11/17/2012) [-]
You really think that's true?  Okay money didn't have to exists, cro-magnons could've gave the cave skanks a fish to put out right?  Wrong.  then the oldest profession would be fisherman.
You really think that's true? Okay money didn't have to exists, cro-magnons could've gave the cave skanks a fish to put out right? Wrong. then the oldest profession would be fisherman.
#137 to #23 - jimmyprice (11/17/2012) [-]
well he wouldve had to have something to fish with so there for gatherer would be the oldest
well he wouldve had to have something to fish with so there for gatherer would be the oldest
#91 to #23 - furriesorgtfo (11/17/2012) [-]
Just because you fish doesn't mean you have to be a fisherman. Just like I'm not a professional basketball player because I made a 2-pointer that one time in middle school.
#52 to #23 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [-]
False, man first profession cannot be fisherman because he did it to survive and didn't took benefit from it, meanwhile prostitution was an exchange between two person. So prostitution was the first job.
Lawyered
User avatar #37 to #23 - ompalomper (11/17/2012) [-]
hunter in the oldest male profession while prostitution is the oldest female profession

it is the truth jet the feminist movement would hang me from a street lamp if i said it to their face
#27 to #23 - jarelk ONLINE (11/17/2012) [-]
What if he gathered and gave that fish post-sexually? Then it would be the second-oldest profession. Sort of.
What if he gathered and gave that fish post-sexually? Then it would be the second-oldest profession. Sort of.
#22 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [-]
At that time it was a legit and honored profession. I dunno why we changed the status to 'next to beggar' for no reason...
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#20 - admiralamory **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#18 - Wingz (11/17/2012) [-]
How can money come before a profession
#15 - electrictroll (11/17/2012) [-]
Looks like a couple of grumpy people came through.
User avatar #12 - ryukyukids (11/17/2012) [-]
this doesn't make sense, if the guy didn't have a profession how would he have money for her to want?
#14 to #12 - anonymous (11/17/2012) [-]
The joke is that she becomes the first whore
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