mfw Slagathor
if anyone here gets Scrubs references...

Yes. Yes I did.

In high school. First day back from a 2 day suspension. Day`s going along fine until recess.
Bunch of douche bags start teasing this mentally unstable behemoth of a black chick for being french. She snaps and starts kicking the ever living shit out of EVERYONE. She literally grabbed a guy, knee`d him in the stomach, then punch him to the ground. Every teacher was out trying to chase her. They ordered everybody in the school out for recess to stand on the outskirts of the yard to not get raped. I see this one skinny kid being whipped around by the arm, literally airborn, and then get thrown to the ground. The girl was about to hit him when I ran up and grabbed her shoulder and said `What the fuck ar you doing?!" She then turned around. "U aint 'fraid a me?!" she pushed me. "U AINT FRAID A ME?" She pushed me again. She then punched me twice in the face. Now I understand the term "hit like a girl", because didn't feel a thing. After punching me twice, she kinda looks at me strange, then runs off. Later, when it all was over, I walked by the Vice Principle of the school. She asked "were you hit?". I replied "Yeah, but I'm fine". She said "No, come to the office". I thought they were going to give me ice or something, but instead they called my parents, telling them I instigated the whole thing, even though I practically saved a kid from a trip to the hospital.



MFW the first day back from a suspension get into a fight.

>high school
>recess
Nice try

Where I live there are recesses. Not only that, hs is from 13 yrs to 18 yrs. I was 14 at the time.

i had recess in high school :/

I've never heard of a high school with 18 year olds attending having a playground.

thats what we call the 20minute break we get in aus :)

Wait what about going to other clasrooms and resting mentally?

Lunch? Should've said that in the first place.

I mean, at least where I am from, we get 5-10 minutes breaks, to switch classrooms, go outside to get some fresh air and other stuff.Then also we get a big break for lunch. So yeah I think he meant that kinda of recess.

Well I mean we get 5 mins to go between classes, I wouldn't exactly call that recess. But okay, I believe you.

Your face when!

girl's penis riding into my ass?

so many comas and periods! cant read without pausing in my head every 5 seconds
but the words were good

the same world where people on funnyjunk thumb down other people for giving valid opinions and exagerated examples

Ha. Wp.

When I was little, I was playing basketball with some friends over lunch, when some annoying younger girl joins in and starts stealing the ball and fucking scratching us. We took it from her and when she tried getting it back again, she fell over. Me and the guys I was playing with were called out of class to go and apologize for "bullying and extremely anti-social towards children". To this day I want revenge on that whore.

Holy shit! that happened tome and my bros 2 years ago!

It's the worst feeling, so powerless. I refused at first and she started crying and screaming, I got some really bad stares from the Teachers. I just walked off in rage, which ended up in multiple detentions. I have another couple things about this same bitch if you want to hear them.

Tell me a story, knifegun! Once, I was bouncing a tennis ball off the wall at my old school , and this little girl grabs my tennis ball and says IT'S MINE NOW LOL! So I'm like, dude give it back that's mine! Then she's like NO! (In a stupid little kid voice) I can't grab it from her because it would be "VIOLENCE AND BULLYING" I'm so pissed, so I grunt "shit... And then she starts whining to the yard duty teacher that I called her a "bad word". But luckily, the teacher didn't care. Please, tell me your stories.

There was this one kid called Joseph, we were friends when I was about 9. Joseph was fucked up, even for a little kid. The shit he said was beyond that of your everyday stoner. "Demons haunt me and hurt my house" "My Mum divorced my Dad because of naughty secrets". Or something like that. He told me about killing himself a lot, so we eventually stopped being friends because he wasn't right in the head but no teachers would take my warnings seriously. One day, we were playing inside when he found a cable wire in the toy box. I saw him putting it around his neck and then he said he was going to hang himself somehow. I tackled him and took the wire from him, but the teacher pulled me off him and told me I was in big trouble. I was banned from doing this in-school disco thing that my crush was in, whilst he was allowed in. Turns out they allowed kissing at this disco thing. I was gonna' make a move but never got to. She eventually moved away about a year later. I'm sure I would've scored that day, but the teacher stopped me. Fuck that bitch teacher.

My old school was incredibly sexist, here's an example: So the whole time I went to this school, the boys' toilet was never cleaned or re-done, so it smelled like a shit-pit. The girls' bathroom was constantly getting cleaned and fixed up. One time, the previously mentioned bitch fucked up the bathroom like this: Piss on the floor and walls, broken door, smashed mirror I don't even know what else. She got in minor trouble when she was caught. Our headmistress was the Antichrist of gender equality by the way. When it came to repairing the bathroom, she figured it was fair we get something as well, by that I mean a new paintjob in the colour of sick and that was it. The girls got a pristine palace of poop erected. That same little girl broke it again and wrote FUK SCUEL on the smashed mirror in felt-tip pen. I thought she would get expelled for that shit, and I felt relieved about that. She got a telling off and had to clean the mirror. The teachers and so-called "justice system" was about as retarded as imaginable. I got in trouble for saving a kid's life. That's coming up next. :)

READ THIS, BRO. Speaking of saving someones life, my friend Lucas, the big guy, he was at a school field trip pool with his class and another class at a pool, he went down to the bottom, and he couldn't get back up because there was WAAAY too many people blocking him.. So, he was almost drowning. My other friend, Ray, saw Luke, swam to the bottom, and pulled him back up. Fucking awesome. And then, Ray had to get out of the pool and he couldn't go back in because he saved his friends life. And when the lifeguard asked Luke what happened, he's all like He saved my life! He did! And then, the teacher and lifeguard are all like NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU ARE STILL IN TROUBLE. But I wasn't there, Lucas told me this story about a month ago. FUCK.

Some swimming instructors/lifeguards are such cunts. Respect to Ray though, that was pretty cool. :)

Oh, and one time, this boy was going to the stall for some business, and right when he pulled down the seat, the door just fell apart. Gawd.

No-one but the youngest kids used toilets. Because they weren't effected by the putrid stench of ancient shit.

I know. The boys bathroom had piss all over the floor, and the girls bathroom was shiny as hell.

I wasn't even fucking involved.

I just read this whole thread. And I thought I had it bad...

Joseph became violent and an introvert after the whole suicide attempt. He left class one day for a doctor's appointment, I never saw him again. That was a good few years ago. Just in case you wanted some kind of ending.

shiiiiiiit...

I've been round to his old place since then, he'd moved. He deleted his Facebook and whatever else. That kid was hearing shit in his head. I wouldn't be surprised if he was in an asylum.

wow.

I call bullshit, no one apologised in this story.

This actually happened, bro. I wasn't in the office for the apologizing. My friend told me that she gave him a stupid apology. And my friend didn't have anything to say sorry for.

I was joking xD You know the stereotype about Canadians always apologizing.
Luckily for me, where I'm from, no-one gives a shit about who done what first or what age they are, if someone deserves it, its socially accepted.

Lol, I get it now!! Oho it is funny because we are Canadian!

And about 3 minutes after that, EVERYBODY was saying that Lucas (My friend) punched a little girl. Which he wouldn't do, because he's harmless.

>Year 9
>Some guy having a heated argument with my best friend
>Decide to try and calm it down because my best friend will end up embarrassing himself
>The guy my friend argued with then pushes me over
>"The fuck do you think you're doing?"
>He then punches me in the cheek
>I punch him twice, once in the jaw and once in the stomach
>*skip out months of police interviews and court visits*
>Turns out i broke his jaw and now i'm charged with GBH, have to go to the youth offending team once a week and given 46 hours community service (reperation) Along with paying Tyler (the 'victim') 150 pound even though my family is poor as fuck
>"You punched him twice so it goes beyond self-defense"

Anyway, now i'm going to find it exceptionally to become a teacher due to CRB checks (a check required if you work with vulnerable people)

All because i hit him twice.

You sound like your name is "Bertha" or "Rhonda"

ahaha my name is Sophie

VERY similar story
>At lunch table with friends, first day of highschool
>Some 300 pound asshole comes from behind and punches me repeatedly in the head
>I turn around with the angry face pikachu makes before using thunderbolt
> FUS ROH DAH!
>He senses my anger and turns and runs across the cafeteria towards stairs
>Push down stairs full force
>He lands face first on ground 6 stairs down, unconscious
>everyone at lunch watching, over 600+ students
>suspended for 3 days, return to school to find out he transfered because people were making fun of him
>MFW everyone refered to me as "the kid who pushed fatty down the stairs" for the rest of the year

>Be freshman in high school
>chilling with cute girl at lunch
>arrogant douche walks up and asks why I'm talking to his ex
>ask him in a gentlemanly fashion to leave the two of us alone
>douche proceeds to spit in my face and declares a duel
>tell him I am a gambler and will only fight if coin lands on heads
>I flip the coin and he follows it with his eyes
>Hit him in the fucking face with the force of a thousand suns
>Twas a 1 hit KO
> Later discover he was the supposed bad ass of our school
>MFW

Flawless victory.

then yell oh no derp fell!!

Doesn't he yell "Laura"?

did he died?

I don get it

knowyourmeme.com/memes/did-he-died

knowyourmeme.com/memes/did-he-died

I love you.

>Implying that street/school fights have any sense of honour and/or pride

**mrhiphopdancer rolled a random image posted in comment #68 at Ponycomp 171 ** haha ^look at this loser faggot!

in case you didnt realize it there is no such thing as fair fighting or fighting dirty there is just fighting to make sure you dont get your ass kicked and the other one does

Someone punches you in the back of the head, let it fucking go until they can get seriously injured. Then punch them back.

That's called A) teaching the fucker to not give cheap shots in the back of the head and B) taking care of one asshole the funny and intelligent way.

Fair fights are for people who aren't smart enough to fight dirty.

i love your logic :D

You do realize how wrong you are now dont you?

You want a fair fight, fine. You go to a sporting event. Those are fair fights, because there is a man who will enforce rules and you shouldn't be in any real risk. These are things you do for fun.

If someone attacks me, there is no gentlemanly combat. There are no rules.
There is no honor in two people trying to hurt each other out of malice, no matter how much we want to pretend there is.
There is only a person who wishes me harm and me, and I will incapacitate that person in any way I can, and I expect they will attempt the same towards me.

I agree that what he did wasn't called for and was cowardly, but so was the behavior of the instigator.
I would've attacked the kid when he did hit me, but I would still have fought dirty.

Ok, I understand if someone seriously attacked you, because that would be self defense and you would do anything to defend yourself.
But in this case, he just got punched in the back of the head. That's it. Obviously I would react, and most likely violently, but I'm not going to jab his eyes out and knee his balls. I mean, how would you look if you did that?

fucking right. if you can avoid pain by playing dirty, play dirty. if you can end a fight by kicking your opponent in the nuts, kick him so hard that he chokes on his own vomit. no bro-code, no rules.

yeah, try to fight against an average-alpha-asshole as the beta-boy op probably is. fighting back would result in a few broken bones. but op waited, observed and used the opportunity to get this douche what he deserves.

Because punching someone in the back of the head in a classroom is totally fair and gentlemanly.

Patience, cunning and surprise attacks are so effective though.

Just you fucking wait.

I never got the concept of "fair fighting". Why the fuck should someone be fair? You fight to win if you're going to fight. This guy didn't ask for some dickhead to punch him in the back of the head so that asshole deserves whatever he got.

And? Do whatever it takes to win, there's no such thing as a fair fight. Shove your thumb in their eyesockets if you have to.

i almost shit myself laughing a thumb for you