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#369 - huecomundo (07/13/2012) [-]
mfw i got a little disgusted
User avatar #365 - alexianary (07/13/2012) [-]
I have never told anyone this story and it was in the deepness of my mind for years, but I like a challenge. So here we go.
So I was 13 years old. Every day, during Mandarin classes I had to use the toilet at a specific time. One day I had to use the bathroom desperately. My teacher, being the bitch she is, said I had to wait. After 5 minutes or so I mentioned that I had to go again, she told me to wait, again. Ten minutes pass, my bladders about to explode, she finally lets me go. I run down 2 flights of stairs and on the 3rd one I trip and roll 'em down. I stand up not giving a single fuck to what just happened and race to the bathroom, because I could either cry about my injuries and piss myself or make it to the bathroom and prevent being the laughingstock of the whole school. I finally made it to the bathroom and ran into a stall, no time to lock the door. With the force of a million suns I pulled my pants down, not opening the zipper and buttons. I was just about to sit, but it was too late. The piss came streaming down and went all over my pants and shoes. I sat on the toilet staring blankly and thinking of a way to get out of this situation. Finally, I decided what to do. I went to the sink and got my self a bit wet, started hitting my legs and splashing water on the floor. The perfect scene. The bathroom looked as if a kid was washing his hands and slipped. Exactly what I was going for. As I pulled my pants back up I noticed it was ripped. (obviously because it ripped while I was flying down the stairs.) I went to the classroom and sat back down. No one noticed, until the downy next to me started saying "teacher, teacher, it smells like piss". I was nervous as fuck. He kept whining, and the teacher kept saying that he was just imagining it. I thought I was lucky that he had down syndrome, or else she would've believed him until he said "Teacher! Alexianary just peed herself". All eyes on me and I was sweating, I felt incredibly sick, I wanted to throw up.
User avatar #381 to #365 - alexianary (07/13/2012) [-]
Then, the teacher squinting her eyes told me to get in front of the class. Game Over, I slowly walked up to the class trying to cover up as much as I could, but it was no use. The stench was spreading across the room and every one's eyes were staring. The teacher standing behind me, only seeing the back of me demanded me to turn around in a screeching voice, I was scared shitless and felt EXTREMELY ill. I turn around and everyone sees my ripped pants and piss stains. Because I felt so nervous I vomited, right in front of the teacher. I start crying. Tears and boogers flowing down my face. Then all of a sudden comes this "pffffffhrhtffhrtrfhfhsshth" and I spray diarrhea out of my burning asshole. (NOTE: I have had this all my life and it still happens, that when I become extremely nervous and scared or cold I get diarrhea) I felt so degraded and so embarrassed, that I kneeled down forgetting I just shit myself. I have shit and vomit all over my hands and tears and boogers on my face dripping into the disgusting mixture of bodily fluids. Teacher calls parents and I get picked up. Next day of school, no one talks to me and I was named Queen Mcshitflinger. One month later, the semester is over. My family moves to China, I bury this little secret in the back of my mind. No more Queen Mcshitflinger. Finally.
User avatar #388 to #381 - alexianary (07/13/2012) [-]
did I top you?
#386 to #381 - SemiAnon ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
Queen Mcshitflinger?
Ha. Hahahahahahahahaha
#362 - noodlelover (07/13/2012) [-]
Your dad's like "god we need to stop feeding you so much darn tuna!" FYI <----
User avatar #357 - cocktopuss (07/13/2012) [-]
Lmso OP is a boy, goto his page Gender: Male.
#355 - nyanpoptart (07/13/2012) [-]
I still have absolutely no fucking idea whether you are a male or female.
I still have absolutely no fucking idea whether you are a male or female.
#360 to #355 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
"popped off into my vajayjay." "gone into my uterus." -_-
User avatar #368 to #360 - breadstickez (07/13/2012) [-]
Profile is for a male.
+3
#366 to #360 - thecharlesworth **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #354 - elemenohpe (07/13/2012) [-]
My friend tried masturbating with a hot dog and it broke off insider her and she had to go to the hospital to get it out
#351 - SemiAnon ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
Why would he use pliers when he could just use his hand?

Fun for the whole family that way.
#349 - doriangrey (07/13/2012) [-]
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#346 - iRoflcopterU (07/13/2012) [-]
Eww
Eww
#344 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
Good one
#342 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
obv of the interneetz.
User avatar #341 - redclover (07/13/2012) [-]
I thought girls liked getting a little head down there every now and then...
User avatar #337 - McorncakeM (07/13/2012) [-]
You win.
#336 - reformedmikey (07/13/2012) [-]
OP is a 20 year old male... When did males have "vajayjays"
User avatar #334 - benasbenas (07/13/2012) [-]
pics or it didn't happen
#332 - saladtongsofdeath (07/13/2012) [-]
This image has expired
**saladtongsofdeath rolled a random image posted in comment #2521 at Animated GIFs ** mfw i thought op was a guy in the beginning
User avatar #327 - xkxixnxdx (07/13/2012) [-]
Pretty sure your dad could top that story...
#338 to #327 - Maroon ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
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