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#401 - thisotherdude (07/13/2012) [-]
>16 years old
>Doesn't know how it works down there
>Seem's legit
User avatar #407 to #401 - theavatarspupil ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
some people dont tell their kids ANYTHING about any of that, and girls dont exactly talk about masturbation outright at school like us guys do. so yes, there is a chance that this is, in fact, legit.
User avatar #408 to #407 - thisotherdude (07/13/2012) [-]
I figured since I knew about all this **** before grade 4 sex-ed (god bless the internet) most people would know about it before they were sixteen at least... Then again there are some really sheltered people out there I guess.
#400 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
When i was young(7-10, cant really remember) i caught every living being near my house(well, almost every being, since humans and something size of a cow was not in option) and tortured it. I had a lot of material, I lived in a ******* farm. My spree ended, when i was caught with our dog, blood handed.

My family was pretty pissed, eh
#399 - hrodebert (07/13/2012) [-]
**hrodebert rolled a random image posted in comment #6794937 at FJ Pony Thread ** what i put in my vag
**hrodebert rolled a random image posted in comment #6794937 at FJ Pony Thread ** what i put in my vag
#417 to #399 - cookiecrumbjohnson (07/13/2012) [-]
**cookiecrumbjohnson rolled a random image posted in comment #5 at Typical day on /v/ ** what i would put
User avatar #398 - cjfj (07/13/2012) [-]
OP Profile: Male.

OP story: Female.

Conclusion: OP is tranny or huge ******* faggot.
User avatar #397 - wolfmango (07/13/2012) [-]
did your mom just offer to have sex with you?
User avatar #396 - Thenator (07/13/2012) [-]
Skippity skip doo daa

I don't wanna read
User avatar #393 - synapse (07/13/2012) [-]
OP get your own secrets, we know that it's not your story since you are a MALE.
User avatar #392 - shogg (07/13/2012) [-]
I use to hide my video camera in the shower when my sister would shower.
User avatar #391 - deezbigtitts (07/13/2012) [-]
ahh..women, they think that what ever comes out of their mouth is the best..
well children, a tale for you i have..
>be 15
>on moms computer looking up some good ol porn
>find vid of dog ******* smoking hot babe
>i dont like the fact that it gives me a wall busting, rock hard on
>start pounding it
>mother being the bitch she is, bursts into my room and sees me pounding it to dog ******* a woman
>mother just stares, mouth open
>starts giving me a lecture bout sex and "urges"
>while im listening i slowly close the laptop...and just listen..
>dad walks in and starts laughing, but never brings it up
>mother says that when i have an urge next time, to remind her so she can leave house
>i fap in the shower

User avatar #395 to #391 - shogg (07/13/2012) [-]
"Hey mom, I'm horny and want to jack off!"
"Alright, son. I'll buy you some tissues"
#387 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
I'll top that **** . So I'm a Ken Doll, right? I have a nice family, a pet, and a sweet house. But that can't stand long, can it? Some giant woman grabs me from my home and takes me to a secluded area, pulls down her pants, and inserts me HEAD FIRST into her vagina. At first it was hard to breathe, but then she started shaking me. The tremors were too much, and my head fell OFF in the vagina. After a few minutes, I see the hand return to try and pull me out. I tried to get away from the awful hand that did this to me. Later still, an older, more aged hand attempted to extract me, but to no avail. Then the mysterious robot attempted to remove me, to which I allowed it as it was not one of the evil giants. But I was wrong! Such an evil device was controlled by the giants, and I was flung into a can outside, to rot. ******* giants.
User avatar #385 - xxhunterxx (07/13/2012) [-]
"come talk to me next time you want to do that"

Mooooom, I wanna masturbate!!!
Okay honey my dildo is in the drawer across the dresser!

Awkward.
#384 - monsderp (07/13/2012) [-]
The same thing happened to me, except I'm a guy and it got stuck in my anus. FML
#383 - themrmadzen (07/13/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #382 - JesuschristofAZ (07/13/2012) [-]
> Be me
> I have a pretty smoking hot wife, convertible, beach house, the business.
> Peacefully coexist with giants
> One day one of the giants grabs me and pulls down her pants
> Oh god it's so ******* hairy
> She shoves me in her vagina
> "Sure is dark and smelly in here"
> I don't know if she heard me or if it was by accident, but the bitch decapitated me
> Well after about an hour, one of the male giants saves me from the cave
> Whats this? Where is he taking me?
> "Oh yeah! I can't wait to put you in my mouth"
> FML
#390 to #382 - spdsky (07/13/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#389 to #382 - chezzie (07/13/2012) [-]
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#380 - aiicii (07/13/2012) [-]
mom can't use pliers? or just being bitchy?
#376 - rangeso (07/13/2012) [-]
>Be in 5th grade
>Get in elementary school Geography Bee
>Get into final 4 "semifinals"
>Really hard questions being asked
> ************* .jpg
>Just decide to answer randomly and hope it's right
>Next time up I don't listen to question
>Answer "France"
>Other kids look at me funny from the audience
>Kids start laughing
>Have no idea what is happening
>MFW the question was "What country resides directly south of California"
>Moved away at the beginning of next school year
>Never talked to anyone from my old school again
#372 - thegirlyoudespise (07/13/2012) [-]
i don't even know how to react to this
i don't even know how to react to this
#371 - xrabiddonutz (07/13/2012) [-]
I can beat that!
I was about 40, somewhere around there, and I had 2 daughters. One day I came home from a long day at work, and was trying to relax and have a beer to end my day right, when suddenly, my wife comes in and tells me my 16 year-old daughter has her sister's Ken doll head stuck in her vagina and neither of them could get it out!

So I tried to get it out with my fingers and hand, but I couldn't get it out, there wasn't enough room. So finally, being tired and a little drunk, I decided to use pliers, which finally pulled that stupid Ken head out, while my wife was scolding my daughter, telling her to tell her next time she wants to masturbate.

I then proceeded to have a few more beers and go to bed, although I will never talk about that with anyone.
User avatar #375 to #371 - puppybiscuit (07/13/2012) [-]
Okay so I'm a Ken doll, right...
-1
#370 - pedobearrocks has deleted their comment [-]
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