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User avatar #20 - tigerbladedn (07/13/2012) [-]
i went to 9gag.
User avatar #19 - Eleatperson (07/13/2012) [-]
I am your father...
User avatar #18 - sixfivefour (07/13/2012) [-]
Story about Ken Doll's head coming off:
I was aout four and my brother was five, and we were kind of in a stage where we bought dolls just to abuse them in any way possible, except that I was a sentimental person and got attached to the things we beat up.
So one day, a Ken Doll's head popped off and I freaked out about it.
Brother said it was okay, and we put the decapitated doll in a lunchkit and buried it in the sandbox.
I couldn't sleep at all that night, and at about midnight I woke up my dad and made him dig up the doll and fix it.
Brother still thinks the doll is buried in its miniature grave to this day.
#13 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
**** off, attention whore.
#17 to #13 - anonymous (07/13/2012) [-]
so a dude tells a gross story and its fine, and a girl does it and she's attention whoring. **** logic.
#12 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
anon for this ****
>be me putting mom's laundry away
>guy btw
>find mom's dildo
>use it on my ass
>hurt myself
>tell mom
>find out it was dad's dildo
>find out dad's been cheating on mom and is gay
>family ruined because i ****** my ass with my dad's dildo
#11 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
Well I was experimenting one time with a phallic shaped piece from a board game I had.   
I was sticking it in my ass and thrusting it, it felt good so I went deeper, I got to into it and ended up pushing it into me all the way, when I was done I tried to take it out. I couldn't.   
   
I went into the bathroom and tried to stick my fingers into my ass to get it out, I could feel it lodged between my anal wall and the inside of my ass, not lined up with my hole. I struggle for what seems ages, trying to stretch my ass enough so that I can get it out with my fingers, thinking I couldn't tell anyone or go to hospital since I didn't tell anyone I was bi.   
After a long time I finally get it out, with a fair bit of blood and my ass hurting.   
I was worried I may have damaged my ass but I didn't want to tell anyone, so I just clean it, and myself, put it back and went to bed. (It was late)   
   
Lucky me it had't damaged me, as I was fine the next day (That or it healed anyway).   
Also I still play with toys, it didn't put me off at all, I'm just careful now.
Well I was experimenting one time with a phallic shaped piece from a board game I had.
I was sticking it in my ass and thrusting it, it felt good so I went deeper, I got to into it and ended up pushing it into me all the way, when I was done I tried to take it out. I couldn't.

I went into the bathroom and tried to stick my fingers into my ass to get it out, I could feel it lodged between my anal wall and the inside of my ass, not lined up with my hole. I struggle for what seems ages, trying to stretch my ass enough so that I can get it out with my fingers, thinking I couldn't tell anyone or go to hospital since I didn't tell anyone I was bi.
After a long time I finally get it out, with a fair bit of blood and my ass hurting.
I was worried I may have damaged my ass but I didn't want to tell anyone, so I just clean it, and myself, put it back and went to bed. (It was late)

Lucky me it had't damaged me, as I was fine the next day (That or it healed anyway).
Also I still play with toys, it didn't put me off at all, I'm just careful now.
#10 - thelonelyguy ONLINE (07/12/2012) [-]
you say in the vajayjay
your profile says male.
what are you?
User avatar #15 to #10 - heartlessrobot (07/12/2012) [-]
I'm thinking both.
#51 to #15 - horehey (07/13/2012) [-]
I'm thinkin' Arby's
#59 to #51 - harmonicanarchy (07/13/2012) [-]
best comment iv seen all day... im crying... take this as a token of gratitude
User avatar #296 to #59 - horehey (07/13/2012) [-]
I'm glad I've brightened your day! Thank you for the pic, just built a new computer!
User avatar #480 to #296 - harmonicanarchy (07/13/2012) [-]
your welcome! and congrats on the new computer!
#9 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
Well I was experimenting one time with a phallic shaped piece from a board game I had.   
I was sticking it in my ass and thrusting it, it felt good so I went deeper, I got to into it and ended up pushing it into me all the way, when I was done I tried to take it out. I couldn't.   
   
I went into the bathroom and tried to stick my fingers into my ass to get it out, I could feel it lodged between my anal wall and the inside of my ass, not lined up with my hole. I struggle for what seems ages, trying to stretch my ass enough so that I can get it out with my fingers, thinking I couldn't tell anyone or go to hospital since I didn't tell anyone I was bi.   
After a long time I finally get it out, with a fair bit of blood and my ass hurting.   
I was worried I may have damaged my ass but I didn't want to tell anyone, so I just clean it, and myself, put it back and went to bed. (It was late)   
   
Lucky me it had't damaged me, as I was fine the next day (That or it healed anyway).   
Also I still play with toys, it didn't put me off at all, I'm just careful now.
Well I was experimenting one time with a phallic shaped piece from a board game I had.
I was sticking it in my ass and thrusting it, it felt good so I went deeper, I got to into it and ended up pushing it into me all the way, when I was done I tried to take it out. I couldn't.

I went into the bathroom and tried to stick my fingers into my ass to get it out, I could feel it lodged between my anal wall and the inside of my ass, not lined up with my hole. I struggle for what seems ages, trying to stretch my ass enough so that I can get it out with my fingers, thinking I couldn't tell anyone or go to hospital since I didn't tell anyone I was bi.
After a long time I finally get it out, with a fair bit of blood and my ass hurting.
I was worried I may have damaged my ass but I didn't want to tell anyone, so I just clean it, and myself, put it back and went to bed. (It was late)

Lucky me it had't damaged me, as I was fine the next day (That or it healed anyway).
Also I still play with toys, it didn't put me off at all, I'm just careful now.
User avatar #8 - yourdadsdad (07/12/2012) [-]
Okay, I didn't want to post this because it's not exactly a secret but oh well.

So I was alone one day, and I was horny as hell. So I called by boyfriend. He was Gothic and had piercings on his penis. I told him to come over to my house and that I'd be in the shower. Just come in through the door.

So were getting it on, and suddenly he gets stuck because he forgot to take out the piercing, and we couldn't get him unstuck. So we went to the ER.

Let's just say. I found out my boyfriends mom was a doctor that night.
User avatar #7 - perishing (07/12/2012) [-]
I have a few stories but I would not like to talk about them.
#6 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
< MFW i found this....arousing
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#5 - mrstraw has deleted their comment [-]
#4 - serotonin (07/12/2012) [-]
Is this dirty secrets chanel attempt to create /b/ light on FJ or is it just me?
#3 - gingersoldier (07/12/2012) [-]
im gonna back away and comeback when **** gets less weird
#2 - anonymous (07/12/2012) [-]
I masturbated to this story... twice.. my own dirty secret.
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