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#520 - willawesome (02/06/2013) [-]
Happened to me to. I'm a guy.
#519 - John Cena (07/17/2012) [-]
you're a guy.....
User avatar #513 - SgtObvious (07/14/2012) [-]
>8 years old
>just figured out that playing with my dick felt good
>jack off continuously for over an hour
>dick gets really red and swollen
>I freak out and go tell my dad with my mom in the room
>I have to show him my red dick, admit that I masturbated, and have my grandma wash it in the shower
User avatar #508 - tehweave (07/14/2012) [-]
I know there are alpha and beta males, are there alpha and beta females?

Because beta describes OP perfectly.
#501 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
Top that? Challenge accepted.

So when I was around 5 or 6, an 8 year old came up to me and asked if I wanted to mess around. Having been sheltered my entire life, I had no idea what he meant, so I agreed. So we made out and he started touching me, while his older cousin(14? 16?) filmed it. Then told me we just had sex (we didn't, but neither of us knew what that was so) and not to tell anyone.

Being the naive and kinda stupid little girl I was, I went home and happily told my mother I just had sex.

My mom flipped **** , started asking me who it was, how old was he, did he do this or that, and I told her that it was the "boy across the street, and some bigger boy was filming it."

Needless to say, my mother completely misinterpreted. She ran over there, pounded on their door at 7 at night, and shouted, for all the rest of the neighbors to hear: WHICH ONE OF YOU PEDOPHILES JUST RAPED MY DAUGHTER?

After that cops were called, things got figured out, it turns out it wasn't sex, and the 16 year old got taken away. The next day my mom told me all about what sex was. And would go on to tell the story to my family every single time we gathered of how I had 'sex' with an 8 year old once while I was five.

Top that.
User avatar #504 to #501 - mariox (07/13/2012) [-]
I like these stories. God my uncle really rubbed off on me.
#499 - robbmurph (07/13/2012) [-]
I think your dad's side of the story tops everything
I think your dad's side of the story tops everything
#498 - rikusorax (07/13/2012) [-]
Channel is copypasta channel
#497 - sXeknockout (07/13/2012) [-]
There was this one time when I was 14 and I decided to masturbate with a highlighter and I ended up popping my own cherry. I freaked the **** out because I thought I was dying, oh and I popped my own cherry before my first kiss.
#496 - souzacole (07/13/2012) [-]
**souzacole rolled a random image posted in comment #2 at Rainbow Oreo **
**souzacole rolled a random image posted in comment #2 at Rainbow Oreo **
User avatar #494 - Hase (07/13/2012) [-]
This is copypasta, unless you are the person that I saw on 4chan last year, This is the exact story that is copied so much.
#490 - htmadge has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #489 - jrondeau **User deleted account** (07/13/2012) [-]
>be chattin up this fine bitch
>she's grabbin me all over
>suddenly this new bitch comes by and tells her to **** off
>I'm feelin turned on, decide to let this bitch take me back to her place
>we start gettin hot
>she takes her pants off
>then panties
>I go down on her
>Think her pussy is pretty big
>I get swallowed by her gaping vagina
>My head snaps off
>I'm Ken doll
#492 to #489 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
hahahaha you are great writer, sir. Make me laugh...
#487 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
i went to pen state. and was in the football camp. there, topped it
#485 - thatsmrnoob has deleted their comment [-]
#484 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
when i was young back in the day i used to have an imaginary friend named rickers i would always chase him around and talk to him.he was my way out of a hard life my dad was an alcoholic and my mother was ill. so one day i went out to chase rickers with my mother supervising we came across a railroad and i just sat there and i didnt here the train coming in but to my fortune my mother pushed my out the way. but as i fell i hit my head on a rock last thing i saw was rickers running away with some broad wearing a Washington state hoodie my dad was really pissed off at me so he beat me and my mother a couple of months later my mother died. my dad blamed it all on me but i didn't care all i could think about was where is rickers i moved in with my grandmother and grand dad but guess what. she died 2 weeks after i moved( **** me right) so i lived a really crappy childhood until i saw rickers with that Washington state whore so i went after him and beat the **** out of her turns out that it was just some puerto rican women so i get placed in a loony hospital for 3 years while my grand dad checked up on me every week it was like hell so when i finally got released i forgot about rickers and started to like music i would make these really awesome songs but this was too cool.and im stuck trying to tell idiots about all this stuff and you try and try and you make a song thats so fckin good.......just......it was all cause of ****** Rickers man
#488 to #484 - thatsmrnoob (07/13/2012) [-]
whoa there Charles dickens
#486 to #484 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #6665676 at FJ Pony Thread **

MFW Too long for a comment, didn't read.
#482 - John Cena (07/13/2012) [-]
Finally, a channel I actually like.
Finally, a channel I actually like.
#481 - reteip ONLINE (07/13/2012) [-]
cool story bro
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