Keep in mind that the majority of parents aren't any better than the majority of adults. They're still assholes to kids, use them for their own benefit at times, and still meaninglessly yell at them when they have a bad day. And the grudges start piling up until the age when children are able to recognize all the bad done to them. It is similar with siblings. The sudden realization of all the wrong that has been done to the kids by them invokes rage and a wish to rebel. Of course, as the kids grow older they realize that most of the grudges are minor, it's just that there were so many they felt rage. That is when they start regaining some amount of respect for the parents. It may never be the same respect as when they were a child, but it will be better than when they realized their parents weren't perfect and unable of being cruel.

'Course, that's just the majority. Your parents could've been great; most of the time were nice and taught you at an early age that they weren't always right and could do wrong.

I feel for you. Not every father acts like a dad, mine didn't. Your situation seems the same as mine except my father gambled and smoked instead of drank. He did drink sometimes though. Thank god he was never abusive. He never really cared for me when I was a kid, didn't even spend his time working to support us, just gambled. When I was 14 my mom decided to get a job and eventually worked 3 jobs managed to support all of us, even his gambling. They ended up divorcing and I lost all respect for him. He used my mom and his kids. He's not a man, if anything he's a very low excuse for one. I'll call him on his birthday and on holidays. Sometimes I don't, though, like this Father's Day. Our conversations go the wrong way very quickly because all he wants is or us to feel pity on him. I don't feel sad about that man anymore. There was almost an entire year of complete silence between us when I admitted to him that I had no respect for him, that his only son didn't think of him as a dad. I ended up saying, quote, "You were just the supplier of the other 23 chromosomes". This was after he started pawning items to gamble more. Everything is a lot better now though, not between us but for myself, my siblings, and my mom. I see all the dragonite dad posts and I see a lot of people that say they never had a father and things like you should cherish your father. Try all you want to value your father as a dad, sometimes even if your father is alive and you know his whereabouts and all, he isn't a dad. Only thing he taught me was how to be independent and that I don't need a dad, but I will be a damn good dad when I have kids cause I know exactly what not to do.

my dad died when i was 1, i never even got the chance to know him