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Comments(71434):
#69513
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hystericalparoxysm (04/30/2013) [-] Alright guys, I really need your help now. I have a friend, we'll call him A. A and I are jokingly fuck buddies, but not really because we live in different states. I really really like A and he admits he likes me too. I would love to be in a relationship with him, but I also like another guy (we'll call him M). I don't like M nearly as much as A but M is in my league and actually lives in the same state. A is absolutely what I would consider a perfect guy to pretty much all of my standards, but I don't think he likes me enough to be in a relationship with me. Yesterday I told A about M and that I wanted to ask him out, but A was telling me to go for it, but was saying that he was jelly (wouldn't tell me why but I'm not that dense) and now I sort of feel bad. I don't want to ask A out because I'm still not sure he likes me that much so I don't want to. I'm not sure if this makes any sense but I'm really stuck and confused here. What should I do? :c
#69583 to #69575
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prominant (05/01/2013) [-]
Go with A, the best relationships aren't always the most convenient and he'll appreciate you're trying to make it work. If he's perfect, why would you wanna settle for any less? I don't know why I'm answering so late after you asked but you should try to go for the long distance.
#69550 to #69513
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Fgner (05/01/2013) [-] I'd agree with tiredofannon and ilovesloths, but I'd like to append:
Long distance relationships CAN work. It's not a plague, though statistically speaking they fail. But a lot of that statistic is made up of couples who are fake to each other. They lie about a few things "we're apart, they won't know" kinda deals. If A is a person you can truly trust and really cares about you, the long distance thing isn't as big of a problem.
In my opinion - go for A. Try to make it work, because it very well might. You obviously care deeply for him and he seems to care for you from what you've said. If things don't work out - M is most likely still available. If M isn't, then M wasn't worth it anyway. If M isn't available because A lasted so long - then wasn't that time worth it?
Like Butters says - even if it doesn't work out, pick the one you'll enjoy the most. Because even when you're sad, you'll be sad because a happy time has ended. And it's better to have had those happy memories and have them end, than to never have them at all.
Long distance relationships CAN work. It's not a plague, though statistically speaking they fail. But a lot of that statistic is made up of couples who are fake to each other. They lie about a few things "we're apart, they won't know" kinda deals. If A is a person you can truly trust and really cares about you, the long distance thing isn't as big of a problem.
In my opinion - go for A. Try to make it work, because it very well might. You obviously care deeply for him and he seems to care for you from what you've said. If things don't work out - M is most likely still available. If M isn't, then M wasn't worth it anyway. If M isn't available because A lasted so long - then wasn't that time worth it?
Like Butters says - even if it doesn't work out, pick the one you'll enjoy the most. Because even when you're sad, you'll be sad because a happy time has ended. And it's better to have had those happy memories and have them end, than to never have them at all.
#69514 to #69513
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tiredofannon (04/30/2013) [-]
Long distance relationships more or less suck, and generally do not work unless there is an known time when the long distance will end (and I mean something like May 6th 2014 not "when I graduate college"). Saying that, I'd say go for M but if you plan on keeping in contact with A it'll also blow up because your feelings for him won't end.
Either quit talking to A (or get over your feelings for him at least) and ask out M or don't ask out M and keep on keeping on as you have been.
Either quit talking to A (or get over your feelings for him at least) and ask out M or don't ask out M and keep on keeping on as you have been.
#69515 to #69514
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hystericalparoxysm (04/30/2013) [-] Well the thing is (and I'm sorry, I should have put this in the original comment) that I would rather be with A more than anything, as we get along perfectly (and there's a huge chance that we will get to meet in real life) but like I said, I'm scared of asking him out since he has his own "M" that he likes. It's confusing as fuck, but I just don't want to quit talking to A as he's sort of like my best friend and I don't actually know M, we've talked a little bit but I don't know him very well.
#69492
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freespeech (04/30/2013) [-] (If you've followed some of my exploits before, than skip to next paragraph)
Before hand, let me say this. A couple months ago, I got told by a police officer that if I get into a fight, even if I don't start it, I will be taken to court, and most likely be sent to Juvenile hall. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I don't take shit without putting up a fight.
Today on the bus ride back from school (i live about a half hour from my school), i see this freshman wailing on another student, a girl. Now I don't believe in hitting women unless your life or general well being is in danger. Now if she decks you once or twice, just brush it off, it's not worth hitting back, because you;ll get your shit fucked over by the legal system. I holler at the fucker to knock it off, and of course this douche ignores it and keeps fucking with her. At one point he had reacher around through the windows (both his and hers were open) and grabbed her hair and pulled her hair out the window. the guy I was sitting with ( i had window seat) was sleeping, and the seats were pretty high so I cold jump over, so I had to stick with verbally assaulting the shit out of him. After the bus ride, i just ended p saing fuck it, and slid my way out of the seat, with my laptop, went up to the fucker and said "You're so fucking tough huh? Must take some sort of strong man to pick on a girl. You're fucking weak, you don't fucking put your hands on a girl."
He then proceeds to shove me (I've been shoved by my 4 year old nephew harder than this punk) and says that classic line "oh, sorry, I'm not supposed to be my hands on girls."
I wanted to fucking deck that panzie ass mother fucker right there.
What does FJ think the appropriate course of action is? And before you say deck him next time he puts his hands on me or a girl, don't worry, that shit's gonna happen.
Before hand, let me say this. A couple months ago, I got told by a police officer that if I get into a fight, even if I don't start it, I will be taken to court, and most likely be sent to Juvenile hall. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I don't take shit without putting up a fight.
Today on the bus ride back from school (i live about a half hour from my school), i see this freshman wailing on another student, a girl. Now I don't believe in hitting women unless your life or general well being is in danger. Now if she decks you once or twice, just brush it off, it's not worth hitting back, because you;ll get your shit fucked over by the legal system. I holler at the fucker to knock it off, and of course this douche ignores it and keeps fucking with her. At one point he had reacher around through the windows (both his and hers were open) and grabbed her hair and pulled her hair out the window. the guy I was sitting with ( i had window seat) was sleeping, and the seats were pretty high so I cold jump over, so I had to stick with verbally assaulting the shit out of him. After the bus ride, i just ended p saing fuck it, and slid my way out of the seat, with my laptop, went up to the fucker and said "You're so fucking tough huh? Must take some sort of strong man to pick on a girl. You're fucking weak, you don't fucking put your hands on a girl."
He then proceeds to shove me (I've been shoved by my 4 year old nephew harder than this punk) and says that classic line "oh, sorry, I'm not supposed to be my hands on girls."
I wanted to fucking deck that panzie ass mother fucker right there.
What does FJ think the appropriate course of action is? And before you say deck him next time he puts his hands on me or a girl, don't worry, that shit's gonna happen.
#69551 to #69492
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Fgner (05/01/2013) [-] Don't fight him, that'll give him some kind of satisfaction when you get locked up. You use loopholes.
The officer said nothing about restraining another person from fighting. So next time, just hold him back, keep him "restrained". Take out your anger through more emotional things. Get him worked up, dare him to start the fight. Then when he does, "restrain" him. Then do things like spit on his face and mock him in front of the bus. Ruin his image to his peers by making him look like the piece of shit he is. As long as you don't cause physical harm and only do enough physically to restrain him, it's impossible for you to be in trouble. You technically didn't fight, he was the only aggressor - and he's going to learn his lesson.
The officer said nothing about restraining another person from fighting. So next time, just hold him back, keep him "restrained". Take out your anger through more emotional things. Get him worked up, dare him to start the fight. Then when he does, "restrain" him. Then do things like spit on his face and mock him in front of the bus. Ruin his image to his peers by making him look like the piece of shit he is. As long as you don't cause physical harm and only do enough physically to restrain him, it's impossible for you to be in trouble. You technically didn't fight, he was the only aggressor - and he's going to learn his lesson.
#69510 to #69508
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kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-] Oh, yeah, makes sense. I think you should just let it pass, girls should be able to fight for themselves, verbally, atleast. And if it should come to a fight, I'm sure some other guys will break it up, you shouldn't risk going to juvenile hall, whatever it is...
#69526 to #69510
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freespeech (05/01/2013) [-] I cannot, nor will not stand idly by while those much weaker than I are attacked, especially if it is a woman. Now I'm not saying that women are weak, I'm saying that men are naturally stronger, especially when a kid who weighs about 220 is bullying, verbally and physically, a girl who weighs less tan 150. It goes against both my nature, and an oath I swore to myself that I would not let that happen. It is my duty to defend those who cannot defend themselves. When evil people (i refuse to call them men) gang up on a girl (there are about 4 of the jack asses who bully her) I see it as my job to do what ever I can, mostly distract them with words, my weapon of choice. One would even go as far to say is that I am almost as chivalrous as a night at some moments. No one else seems to care on that bus, not even the driver. To quote Einstein, 'the world will not be destroyed by evil people, but by those who stand idly and watch.'
I guess when I asked the question, I meant do I take it to the principal, or sit with/near this girl to prevent more intolerable acts?
I guess when I asked the question, I meant do I take it to the principal, or sit with/near this girl to prevent more intolerable acts?
#69562 to #69526
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blaaz (05/01/2013) [-] Do both, take it to the principle and sit next to the girl but follow Fgner's advice only as a last resort (that is if you dont see anyway of him backing down soon). If the police get involved make sure to try and get the girl to testify on your behalf (albeit she may be incredibly unnerved by being a witness in a court case as most people would be, Im more then certain that if you truly are being as kind to her as you say you are she will be more then willing to testify on your behalf)
#69490
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onionbubs (04/30/2013) [-] Hey guys, I was gonna have a picnic with some of my friends tomorrow (because its a nice day tomorrow apparently and life is too short to not have fun once in a while).
I just found out that one of my friends is a vegetarian, and all the sandwiches I had already prepared are like chicken or ham or whatever. What are some good vegie sammiches I could make? No, I am not very good with sammiches.
>inb4 feed them with bacon
I just found out that one of my friends is a vegetarian, and all the sandwiches I had already prepared are like chicken or ham or whatever. What are some good vegie sammiches I could make? No, I am not very good with sammiches.
>inb4 feed them with bacon
#69541 to #69502
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Ruspanic ONLINE (05/01/2013) [-] How to make easy bacon:
Put paper towel on a large plate. Put raw bacon strips on paper towel, keeping them separated, and cover them with the paper towel. Heat in microwave for ~3 minutes at highest setting. Discard greasy paper towels.
Instant crispy bacon, no frying pan required.
Put paper towel on a large plate. Put raw bacon strips on paper towel, keeping them separated, and cover them with the paper towel. Heat in microwave for ~3 minutes at highest setting. Discard greasy paper towels.
Instant crispy bacon, no frying pan required.
#69486
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nigalthornberry (04/30/2013) [-] What am i supposed to do about my eyebrows whenever i pluck them even 1 hair they stay red for about 2 days
I tried doing it right after i get out of the shower that only helps a little bit but that doesn't stop them from growing back over night
I tried doing it right after i get out of the shower that only helps a little bit but that doesn't stop them from growing back over night
#69511 to #69486
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hystericalparoxysm (04/30/2013) [-] Use lavender oil to help soothe them after you pluck your eyebrows. I also recommend waxing, it gets less painful the more you wax. I used to use GiGi's Tweezeless Wax, it came with a little bottle of the lavender oil.
#69485
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theangryrussian (04/30/2013) [-] I need a torrent of all of Metallica's work (prior to black album). Anyone?
#69483
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fuckitbucket (04/30/2013) [-] Only really remembered this from ages ago, is it really bad if i missed one of those mandatory school shots? like the ones everyone in the year got...
I'm guessing its for something serious if everyone is supposed to be given it.
I'm guessing its for something serious if everyone is supposed to be given it.
#69482
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
I have a lot of friends. When the attractive female ones invite me over to hang around (usually to play games or talk about their problems), I steal their bra's and panties.
I collect these in a box under my bed.
Am I a sick fellow or what?
I collect these in a box under my bed.
Am I a sick fellow or what?
#69481
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laphantom (04/30/2013) [-] I'm derping a lot today and I can't get this batch file to work correctly, can anyone help me (link is to a google doc with the code on).
docs.google.com/document/d/1DOOh63WTJp6-hR80t5NrD7dgqtGd2ePVoPB3zDxZK68/edit?usp=sharing
docs.google.com/document/d/1DOOh63WTJp6-hR80t5NrD7dgqtGd2ePVoPB3zDxZK68/edit?usp=sharing
#69552 to #69481
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Fgner (05/01/2013) [-] I was definitely expecting a BASH file... I saw that and went "wait...the fuck, is this C?"
It looks fine to me, but I haven't used WinAPIs in absolutely forever, I probably couldn't tell if you were using a deprecated call or anything. Sorry I couldn't be more help! But StackOverflow could probably help you more than Funnyjunk.
It looks fine to me, but I haven't used WinAPIs in absolutely forever, I probably couldn't tell if you were using a deprecated call or anything. Sorry I couldn't be more help! But StackOverflow could probably help you more than Funnyjunk.
#69479
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
>Known a girl since 2009, we're both 19 now
> Both of us were extremely shy around each other, rarely spoke in person
>She liked me for a while (found out about a year ago)
>Doesn't like me like that anymore, still considers me a "friend" (inb4 friendzoned)
>Haven't physically seen her for well over a year
>I haven't really fancied her since 2010, still care for her though
>She now has a kid, and i'm actually cool with it... No, seriously.
So, I feel we're going through a stage where nothing's happening, but I don't want to lose contact with her. How can I start up a conversation with her, the chat's we've had have only ever been stuff like "how are you?".. boring stuff. I don't want to come across as though i'm trying to get her to like me again, because I don't like her that way anymore either, but i'd still like us to be friends, because we had loads of stuff in common. That being said, i'm worried I might end up liking her again...
> Both of us were extremely shy around each other, rarely spoke in person
>She liked me for a while (found out about a year ago)
>Doesn't like me like that anymore, still considers me a "friend" (inb4 friendzoned)
>Haven't physically seen her for well over a year
>I haven't really fancied her since 2010, still care for her though
>She now has a kid, and i'm actually cool with it... No, seriously.
So, I feel we're going through a stage where nothing's happening, but I don't want to lose contact with her. How can I start up a conversation with her, the chat's we've had have only ever been stuff like "how are you?".. boring stuff. I don't want to come across as though i'm trying to get her to like me again, because I don't like her that way anymore either, but i'd still like us to be friends, because we had loads of stuff in common. That being said, i'm worried I might end up liking her again...
#69476
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sheperdofthestars (04/30/2013) [-] So I'm gonna watch The Green Mile for the first time tonight.
How sad should I expect to be at the end? I've heard it's rife with feels.
How sad should I expect to be at the end? I've heard it's rife with feels.
#69475
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weenieandthebutt ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-] What's the most common place where I can find the cool chicks who're into anime, manga, games and all the other awesome sauce? My crush is one of those girls into all the cool shit I like (AND MORE) but I just happened to meet her by chance the hundreds of times I've been to this rock nightclub.
#69468
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
so.. i feel atracted to two of my female cousins.. what do?
#69459 to #69456
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samoaspider (04/30/2013) [-] Put something original and not meme-related, also short
Maybe a quote?
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Gandhi
"You miss every shot you don't take" - taken from "Office"
(Futurama has awesome stuff to quote too)
A short yet funny joke maybe?
Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
I'm 99,9% sure you won't choose any of those but atleast I hope that helped a little.
Maybe a quote?
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Gandhi
"You miss every shot you don't take" - taken from "Office"
(Futurama has awesome stuff to quote too)
A short yet funny joke maybe?
Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
I'm 99,9% sure you won't choose any of those but atleast I hope that helped a little.
#69455
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
I'm a guy, and I'd never have sex with another guy but I really sometimes feel like sticking something up my butt, am I gay?
#69449
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
Told a guy I had an apprenticeship at EON, I gotta tell him what it's like; FJ what would an 18 year old have to do at an apprenticeship at EON???
#69446
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tehnukecomes (04/30/2013) [-] i just saw a kid getting hit by a car,and i felt nothing.
while everyone was rushing and stuff,i sat on a chair watching everything without emotion.
am i a hearless asshole?
while everyone was rushing and stuff,i sat on a chair watching everything without emotion.
am i a hearless asshole?
#69447 to #69446
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prominant (04/30/2013) [-]
You didn't mention how exactly the little kid looked like or how he got hit by a car, but just judging from what you told me now; I'd have to say you're a moron and if/when you have a kid and he gets hit by a car, and people show the same remorse that you've shown then, I hope it hurts.
#69442
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ntns (04/30/2013) [-] im looking for a post with good advice from a fellow funnyjunkers teacher
#69434
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N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
Hey. I have a big problem right now. I'm a student and I have short on money. I'm not a big spender when it comes to money, but my family asked if I could lend them some money to pay something. Now I don't have enough for my rent. What should I do?
I have asked for jobs etc but no luck, and I can't ask my family for help.
I have asked for jobs etc but no luck, and I can't ask my family for help.
