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User avatar #146626 - aczzoh ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
I'm being oppressed by the patriarchy. Wat do?
User avatar #146637 to #146626 - soupkittenagain ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
Go on tumblr. I'm sure they'll be happy to help. Although if your appearance is that of a white male. Just say you identify as Antarctica.
User avatar #146625 - moistnuggests ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
Anyone else having problems seeing the purple reply lines in FJ? Kind of difficult to follow who's replying to who without them.
User avatar #146631 to #146625 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (07/25/2014) [-]
Something must be wrong with the website's CSS on your behalf.
Check your extensions, man.

Try disabling all extensions/ addons, clearing cache, and trying FunnyJunk again.
User avatar #146619 - ishallsmiteyou ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
really bad fucking allergies, sneezing every 30 seconds, can't breathe, eyes creating a small ocean on floor. halp
#146651 to #146619 - saltybanana (07/25/2014) [-]
take alavert. its a allegie pill that works in seconds.
its a bit pricey but it gets the job done. and it dissolves in your mouth
User avatar #146630 to #146619 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (07/25/2014) [-]
DayQuil
NyQuil
Tylenol
Water
Sleep.

Make that part of your daily routine.
Tylenol to make you drowsy quickly and fall asleep, and NyQuil to keep you asleep.
DayQuil, NyQuil, and Tylenol will suppress the symptoms.
User avatar #146620 to #146619 - ishallsmiteyou ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
and no meds I've tried have worked at all
User avatar #146628 to #146620 - inspiteofsprite ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
If over-the-counter isn't working, go the doctors. Also take a hot shower to help clear up your nose
User avatar #146622 to #146620 - moistnuggests ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
If meds aren't working nothing will, trust me I'm in the same boat.

-Sometimes orange juice or tea (peppermint is best) with lemon, vitamin C works for allergies as well
-Wash your face (around the nose area especially) regularly and I'd also recommend a long hot bath.
-Nose drops that deal with inflammation as well as congestion or at least congestion, the ones I use are from Russia and only available from very few venders in the US. There are three that I've tried but I can't read their names except for Naftizin
-When all else fails head to the doctor to get a prescription strength drugs
User avatar #146617 - daxrated (07/25/2014) [-]
Is this an alright place to ask for advice on using FJ? I'm terrified at all the colors atm. I don't think I wanted to go to New York after all. >.>
User avatar #146674 to #146617 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
This post makes no fucking sense.
User avatar #146632 to #146617 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (07/25/2014) [-]
There are two basic website architectures.

1) Flashy, quick, simple, and clean.
Most notably blogs.
They're simple websites that have no functionality. Not designed for a user-account system. Not designed for people to join as part of a community. Not designed for people to get on daily.

2) Functionality.
Look at Reddit and FunnyJunk. It's a cluster and it's hard to get used to at first; There is a learning curve.
Yet it's tailored so there can be functionality, and users, and everything else.
It's made for people to stay on for hours on end, and to come back daily.
User avatar #146633 to #146632 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (07/25/2014) [-]
Then there's super popular websites whom have perfected this mix of Design and Functionality.

Such as YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

But namely, websites will lean more on one side over the other. As if they are oil and water.
As if you just can't have both... Even though you clearly can.
User avatar #146629 to #146617 - daxrated (07/25/2014) [-]
Yeah, mainly just overwhelmed at all the buttons and options. I'll just have to take a deep breath and get used to the FJ at my own pace.
User avatar #146624 to #146617 - thatnigger (07/25/2014) [-]
As in its bright and you think you won't fit in in New York. Honestly, America is huge, so you're likely to at least meet a few people you'll enjoy being friends with there. Just keep an eye out I guess.
User avatar #146621 to #146617 - ishallsmiteyou ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
why the hell are you terrified of colours?
#146615 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
Allright, gonna try to make this short.

Female best friend. Known her for about two years. Internet based. Were super insanely close for quite some time, but recently it's all gone to shit. I know where I made a few fuckups but I've genuinely been better about it as far as I can tell. But I've been wanting to talk to her lately, just literally conversation about some things I've been doing but it's ALWAYS ending with her making an excuse about why she can't talk and it's frustrating as hell. I always make time for her when she comes to me with problems and yet as soon as I do so much as ask for her acknowledgement, she flips over to acting like she doesn't want to know me. It's infuriating to feel so disrespected, and when I tell her that I feel that way, she immediately flips it around and makes it seem like I'm being a monster and I genuinely don't understand why she has that point of view.
User avatar #146675 to #146615 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
You cannot have a best friend over the internet.
Get over it.
#146652 to #146615 - saltybanana (07/25/2014) [-]
duuuude move on, this chick basically thinks and only cares about her self only   
   
had the same problem with a friend of mine i knew for years. when his gf left him, i was there to talk to him and cheer him up, but when i broke up with my ex, that muthaphacka wasnt no where to be found.   
   
dude that isnt a friend at all, just leave her. if your too much of a vagina to leave her. den just keep her as a friend, nothing more than a friend. if she need a shoulder to cry on just ignore her, she will get the message. shouldn't be taking her shit like that man.
duuuude move on, this chick basically thinks and only cares about her self only

had the same problem with a friend of mine i knew for years. when his gf left him, i was there to talk to him and cheer him up, but when i broke up with my ex, that muthaphacka wasnt no where to be found.

dude that isnt a friend at all, just leave her. if your too much of a vagina to leave her. den just keep her as a friend, nothing more than a friend. if she need a shoulder to cry on just ignore her, she will get the message. shouldn't be taking her shit like that man.
#146661 to #146652 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
I get where you're coming from, dude. Like. I care about her as a friend and I won't ditch her, ever, but I suppose it's in my best interest to give as minimal of a fuck about her as I can for awhile. I guess she'll come to the realization that I'm not some sort of monster sooner or later.
#146616 to #146615 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
TLR my friend is treating me like shit and won't talk to me, and I'm not even being pushy about it or anything. She's just being the polar opposite of the awesome friend she used to be.

Wat do? It really sucks.
User avatar #146623 to #146616 - thatnigger (07/25/2014) [-]
Does she still talk to you about her own problem?
If so, that's not friendship, she's using you at this point. She's not communicating as well so it won't last very long before you get so mad you leave by yourself anyway. Friendships, like relationships require communication to work and if she's not going to talk about why she's acting like that and not willing to talk it out and get over it, I think you should just find other friends.
0
#146613 - puzekatt has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #146606 - playerdous (07/25/2014) [-]
Any advice on remembering passwords from 7 years ago, tried old notes but they're all tossed.
User avatar #146611 to #146606 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (07/25/2014) [-]
I'm assuming you do not have the email linked to it anymore, eh?

I would start from the very basics and work your way from there.
User avatar #146603 - hotrodman (07/25/2014) [-]
Any EMTs here? I'm going to apply to my local EMU (dropping off my application in like half an hour or so) and figured I could use some advice.
User avatar #146657 to #146603 - fukkenbisharp (07/25/2014) [-]
better get ready to see some fucked up shit

and be ready to believe your time is being wasted because you might get some calls where you arent really needed but protocol is that you need to be there
User avatar #146685 to #146657 - hotrodman (07/25/2014) [-]
yeah i figured as much, some people will probably have their guts hanging out and others will call because they stubbed their toe.


I had my interview last night and I think it went well. I could be wrong but I think he's going to accept me because at the end he was talking about when he'd call me, and he was saying "when i call you" not "if i call you" but as I said, I could be wrong because maybe that's just the way he talks.
User avatar #146585 - braindeadmetalhead (07/25/2014) [-]
outside right now is a yellow color, and it also smells like burning plastic.

Anyone have a clue? Shits got me paranoid.
User avatar #146604 to #146585 - playerdous (07/25/2014) [-]
It most likely is something burning, do you live near a forest/reclamation plant?
User avatar #146596 to #146585 - makotoitou ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
ur mums period
User avatar #146593 to #146585 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
it's a nuke bro rip
User avatar #146582 - trollypollyz (07/25/2014) [-]
captainlevi has helped me down 1 comment level. I still have 200 more before I get to negative thumbs. What should I do next guys?
#146605 to #146582 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
Post black chicks in nsfw, but only 20 at a time so they can max out the thumbs and black nights don't have time to upvote it.
User avatar #146600 to #146582 - alexanderburns ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
sasha > captainlevi
User avatar #146586 to #146582 - derpityhurr (07/25/2014) [-]
try harder
User avatar #146590 to #146586 - trollypollyz (07/25/2014) [-]
so fucking hard
User avatar #146589 to #146586 - trollypollyz (07/25/2014) [-]
I'll try so fucking hard
User avatar #146588 to #146586 - trollypollyz (07/25/2014) [-]
I will babey
#146584 to #146582 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
post women giving birth in NSFW sections. They dont like to see it
User avatar #146587 to #146584 - trollypollyz (07/25/2014) [-]
HUEHUEHUE
User avatar #146573 - hoponthefeelstrain (07/24/2014) [-]
so me and a friend bought burnout paradise so we could race each other and I can prove I'm superior but the game won't let us invite friends. We've both been looking around and apparently it's a common problem, neither of us has found a solution. Do you guys think you can help? Also stoicnick says hi.
0
#146578 to #146573 - iridium has deleted their comment [-]
#146569 - 4chan refugee (07/24/2014) [-]
For some reason, I feel like my friends are really immature. Like, whenever we hang out in public they're always really loud and retarded which is cool sometimes but has made me feel really embarrassed lately. is this normal? What should I do?
User avatar #146579 to #146569 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
Get more mature friends. Or when they're being loud and obnoxious, say "Hey I'm right here you don't need to yell."
User avatar #146571 to #146569 - jokekill ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
stop smoking pot
#146568 - karrikoto (07/24/2014) [-]
fine, thanks to that gif i have your attention. greetings, i seek your advice. i lurked funnyjunk for about five years now without ever making an account. now that i've finally decided to make one, i immediately regret this decision and here's why: I tried to befriend me with this situation and tried to make witty comments and gain pinkies but bottom line is, this costs me too much nerves. since i'm obviously too stupid to find the "delete account" button i beseech you to help me out and release me to anonymoushood again.   
   
TL;DR how do i quit fj
fine, thanks to that gif i have your attention. greetings, i seek your advice. i lurked funnyjunk for about five years now without ever making an account. now that i've finally decided to make one, i immediately regret this decision and here's why: I tried to befriend me with this situation and tried to make witty comments and gain pinkies but bottom line is, this costs me too much nerves. since i'm obviously too stupid to find the "delete account" button i beseech you to help me out and release me to anonymoushood again.

TL;DR how do i quit fj
User avatar #146595 to #146568 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
you can't delete your account anymore I think

just don't log in, delete all cookies from here
#146575 to #146568 - WtfStrawberries (07/24/2014) [-]
How about you just dont login?
How about you just dont login?
User avatar #146570 to #146568 - karrikoto (07/24/2014) [-]
oh yeah, almost forgot: inb4 kill yourself and inb4 mr. bones wild ride never ends
#146567 - 4chan refugee (07/24/2014) [-]
Hey Advice board.
I'm an 18 year old guy with very thick dark, hair, that seems to grow incredibly quickly and I hate it.
The only hair cut-style I think I've ever had is a number 4 back and sides with scissors on top.
While admittedly it looks fine for the first 2 weeks or so, after that it just looks horribly messy, or if I try and brush down my head looks a really odd square shape and its just urgh

So I'm tired of only looking presentable for 2 out of every 5 or so weeks and want a new cut that will last me longer. Especially now that I'm starting university in October and the frequency of my haircuts will likely decrease.

After a generic google search of 'man with thick hair' I found this photo which I think shows the type of hair on my head quite well. My actual head looks about 1000x lamer at all times, if it looked half as good as this doods I wouldn't be complaining obligatory nohomo
#146608 to #146567 - saltybanana (07/25/2014) [-]
i have the same problem i do a comb over hair cut, and it looks great IMO

it leaves the top long and the sides bald. try it out one day. i usually have to cut my hair every week due to it growing incredibly fast.

this is how i want it to be, but i never have time to fix my hair.
User avatar #146677 to #146608 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
Literally all you need to do is put a good product in your hands and run it through your hair, then comb it up.
Takes under a minute.
User avatar #146797 to #146677 - saltybanana (07/26/2014) [-]
i try many products but it doesn't stick to my hair. i literally need to wet the fuck out my hair, and apply layers of styling pomade
User avatar #146607 to #146567 - trocadero (07/25/2014) [-]
I get essentially the same cut. Once it starts getting longer I spike it at the front. and once it's too long for that I give it a little flip back. As long as you keep it brushed it looks fine. And the longer hair actually doesn't look so bad if you keep a little stubble. Like but a personal set of clippers and use a number 1 every couple weeks.
User avatar #146597 to #146567 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (07/25/2014) [-]
shave the sides short and leave the top long
User avatar #146580 to #146567 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
Just keep it styled and gelled. See if you can't get it straightened. Really though, just keep it well groomed and it should be fine. Often times we see flaws in ourselves that others don't (or dont care about) so don't stress out so much.
User avatar #146560 - beatmasterz (07/24/2014) [-]
I'm going to skype with a girl I've never met in real life. I'm nervous, the fuck do I say? My english sucks.
User avatar #146564 to #146560 - aesis (07/24/2014) [-]
Get drunk. Not to the point where you're an idiot but to the point of "nicely drunk".
User avatar #146563 to #146560 - moarpotatos (07/24/2014) [-]
"ey beb u wunt sum fuk?"
#146555 - pedobearseviltwin (07/24/2014) [-]
Really cute girl,
met her at a bar and got her phone number through an old friend of mine.
so we started talking and talking and we have sent each other over 3500 texts in the last month or so.
Now the weird thing is, some days she gives me compliments and acts really nice and sweet, and other days she just seems to be cold and kinda disinterested.
Some days she texts first but usually its me, although we usually keep the convo going
anyone have experience with things like this?
User avatar #146581 to #146555 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
Like ninja said; hang out more.

And don't force conversations on texts, or one of you might just get tired of eachother. I had that exact same problem.

Are the days where she seems cold and disheartened because she legitimately is being that way or are you just thinking that because she isn't being super sweet every day that she is just being cold instead?
User avatar #146655 to #146581 - pedobearseviltwin (07/25/2014) [-]
Hey man, thanks for the reply!
I kinda keep trying to force conversations indeed, because its a girl I'd love to get to know even better, and every time I ask to do something, shes always out with friends or busy.
We should go watch a movie together later this week though, so I hope that goes well.
User avatar #146565 to #146555 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
girls are fucking weird lol

you should be hanging out with her more in person
User avatar #146654 to #146565 - pedobearseviltwin (07/25/2014) [-]
Haha I know right, thanks for the reply though!
Problem is, I kinda knew she was crushing on me from the start, so it seems weird how she can be so distant. Usually she says shes busy or something when i ask her out, we should be watching a movie together pretty soon though.
User avatar #146566 to #146565 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
that way in person you can see how she actually responds to whatever you say emotionally and shit
#146553 - 4chan refugee (07/24/2014) [-]
Is it safe for a guy to stick something up his butt when masturbating

Nohomo
#146583 to #146553 - 4chan refugee (07/25/2014) [-]
It's safe as long as you're delicate, and it's not homo because men have a pleasure spot back there.

Just use a lot of lubricant. As far as lubricants go, avoid anything soapy or that irritates skin. Water based works well, as does veggie oil (though the latter has a persisting smell). You'll also want to wash up, and you'll probably be farting some for awhile.

Happy fapping.
User avatar #146556 to #146553 - cantfindausername ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
People stick penises up their butt all the time. The male "G-spot" is up there. There are lubes specifically for anal purposes. You'll be fine.
#146557 to #146556 - 4chan refugee (07/24/2014) [-]
What if i just use soap and warm water
User avatar #146678 to #146557 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
Holy shit.
Sunset help him.
User avatar #146680 to #146678 - Sunset (07/25/2014) [-]
i don't stick things in my butt when i masturbate
User avatar #146682 to #146680 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
Maybe captainlevi the funny man can help.
User avatar #146558 to #146557 - cantfindausername ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
Well if it doesn't work, you just cleaned your ass. Win/win.
My girlfriend and I used baby oil before. May need to apply again after some use, though. (Water based lubricants, I hear, work the best for those kinds of thing)
User avatar #146549 - thebestpieever (07/24/2014) [-]
If I'm not mistaken there used to be a way to download videos in-browser without the need for plug-ins. It was fairly popular for newgrounds videos, but I want to use it for youtube videos atube won't download. Does anyone know how to do it?
User avatar #146552 to #146549 - nigalthornberry ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
DvD videosoft or Ant Video
User avatar #146551 to #146549 - soupkittenagain ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
Realplayer used to be able to download videos via extension, but some update on chrome made it stop working. They still haven't fixed it. If you want to download youtube videos, then use this.
#146531 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
Hey /advice/, have you ever commited incest unknowingly? I have, I'm gonna leave the story here.   
>Be me, 18,  betafag, alcoholic, I can only drink at bars because I get nervous at clubs.   
>Mom tells me we're gonna move to Tampico. (These are cities in Mexico).   
>We live in Reynosa, closer to the border. It's reasonably far away.   
>I can only think "Good." Because I fucked up my very little reputation at my school by haven gotten my ass kicked by the scrawny little nerd.   
>Mom is calling her sister and telling her we'll be living close to her. (Tampico and Altamira are quite close cities. My aunt lives in Altamira.)   
>Keep in mind that my mom and aunt haven't seen each other in over 20 years because we lived pretty far away and we're only medium class fags without spare money for vacations.   
>Fast forward 2 days, we're already moved in to Tampico.   
>It's around 8:40 PM and I've got the need to drink. I tell my mom I'll be back in a while and head out the door.    
>Walk around for a few 40 minutes and spot no bars, only Lounges and Clubs.    
>Finally decide fuck it, I need a drink and enter a club.   
>Extremely fucking nervous, just walk to bar and order beer.    
>He says they don't have beer, only whiskey and tequila and shit like that.   
>I just wanna get fucking drunk as fast as possible so order tequila shots.   
>Maybe some 8 shots later, feeling really fucking trashed, so I pay and make way for the exit.   
>Halfway out, I trip and yank a girl's hair.   
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.   
>Turn around and say sorry sorry sorry. Total betafag.   
>She says "It's ok", smiles and gives me her hand.   
>Let out a half smile, look like a retard. Get her hand and get up.   
>Say "Thanks", turn around really fast and leave.    
>She screams "Hey wait" I don't hear and run the fuck out.
Hey /advice/, have you ever commited incest unknowingly? I have, I'm gonna leave the story here.
>Be me, 18, betafag, alcoholic, I can only drink at bars because I get nervous at clubs.
>Mom tells me we're gonna move to Tampico. (These are cities in Mexico).
>We live in Reynosa, closer to the border. It's reasonably far away.
>I can only think "Good." Because I fucked up my very little reputation at my school by haven gotten my ass kicked by the scrawny little nerd.
>Mom is calling her sister and telling her we'll be living close to her. (Tampico and Altamira are quite close cities. My aunt lives in Altamira.)
>Keep in mind that my mom and aunt haven't seen each other in over 20 years because we lived pretty far away and we're only medium class fags without spare money for vacations.
>Fast forward 2 days, we're already moved in to Tampico.
>It's around 8:40 PM and I've got the need to drink. I tell my mom I'll be back in a while and head out the door.
>Walk around for a few 40 minutes and spot no bars, only Lounges and Clubs.
>Finally decide fuck it, I need a drink and enter a club.
>Extremely fucking nervous, just walk to bar and order beer.
>He says they don't have beer, only whiskey and tequila and shit like that.
>I just wanna get fucking drunk as fast as possible so order tequila shots.
>Maybe some 8 shots later, feeling really fucking trashed, so I pay and make way for the exit.
>Halfway out, I trip and yank a girl's hair.
>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
>Turn around and say sorry sorry sorry. Total betafag.
>She says "It's ok", smiles and gives me her hand.
>Let out a half smile, look like a retard. Get her hand and get up.
>Say "Thanks", turn around really fast and leave.
>She screams "Hey wait" I don't hear and run the fuck out.
User avatar #146535 to #146531 - hawaiianhappysauce (07/24/2014) [-]
I want to hear how you got beat up by the nerd.
User avatar #146538 to #146535 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
He was a big motherfucking nerd with autism, he looked like was fed with whole cows, and he loved clay figures.
I dropped one of his by accident and his shit bubble burst and he beat the crap out of me.
User avatar #146539 to #146538 - hawaiianhappysauce (07/24/2014) [-]
> gotten my ass kicked by the scrawny little nerd
> big motherfucking nerd with autism

what?
User avatar #146540 to #146539 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
Sorry I'm blazed. To be honest I've gotten my ass kicked by nerds more than you'd think, so I confuse the stories and just say the one that hurt the most when people ask.

Well he's this little skinny guy and he's always being the teachers pet, I had him in all my periods at school so he got really fucking annoying.
So one time I got to school shitfaced and angry and he's talking with his stupid voice.
Tell him Shut the fuck up Jeremy nobody gives a fuck, and throw a paperball at his face. He runs and screeches like a fucking freak and says "Raise your hand" with his little screechy voice, and pushes my desk.
It trips over and I fall, get up but since I'm shitfaced I halfway trip and he swats me in the face with his book and that is the story of how I got my ass kicked by Jeremy, the scrawny little nerd.
User avatar #146532 to #146531 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
>Turns out I dropped my phone.
>Walk home and lay down shitfaced on the living room floor.
>Next morning, I wake up, Mom's phone is ringing like hell.
>Turns out she left her phone on the counter.

User avatar #146533 to #146532 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
>Check who's calling. It's my number.
>Answer, it's a girl's voice, tells me she found my phone, wants to give it back.
>Say ok, set a place to meet.
>Walk to the meeting place 30 minutes earlier.
>Waiting like a betatard, until she gets there, sees me and waves.
>It's the girl who's hair I pulled at the club.
>Wave back like a retard and walk towards her.
>She says Hi and gives me a hug, holy shit she feels nice and soft.
User avatar #146537 to #146533 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
>I say Hi, and she gives me the phone .
>Thanks, here's $50 for the trouble.
>She says no thanks, let's go for breakfast instead.
>We go to a coffee house, order breakfast and she's making smalltalk.
>Laughing at how I fell the night before, saying I sounded so panicked when I was apologizing.
>First it feels like she's shaming me and then the conversation gets really great.
>Start laughing and having a good warm talk, turns out she likes the same music as me and shit, how cool.
>She says we got along really good, says we can be friends and go out, she knows all of the good gigs that are around here.
>Shit, sure why not?
>Finish eating and leave, she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
>Says she registered her number on my phone and to call her sometime.
Fast forward 3 days.
>Internet goes out in the middle of an intense scientific session. maztubashon kids.
>Bummed out, don't know what to do so I call her.
>She wanted to go watch the skaters at the park, but didn't want to go alone.
>Meet her there, we're watching the skaters, and suddenly this guy dressed up like Marilyn Manson walks up to her and says "Hey jaz, who's this fuck?".
>Tells him to fuck off or she'll tell the skaters to kick his ass again.
>Says fine and walks away pissed off.
>She tells me that's her ex, he's always being an ass and coming around when she's there and bothering her.
>That's why I invited you.
>I feel used, and just chuckle.
>She says she's joking and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
User avatar #146541 to #146537 - gunslayer (07/24/2014) [-]
Fast forward 2 weeks later, we're now going out.
>Start going out every day, I even feel less beta with her around, I feel confident.
>Mom never knew her because we always met out of the house, we though meeting each other's parents was something for true commitment.
Some 3 months later...
>After time we start getting really close, and decide fuck it, let's meet each other's parents.
>First I was gonna meet her parents.
>So that day, my mom decided to set up to meet with my aunt. I tell her I can't go with her because I'm gonna go meet my girlfriend's parents.
>Meet girlfriend at the park and first go have breakfast like the first day.
>Have fun, she says okay so I told Mom we'd be there around 2 PM so let's go.
>Walk to her house and go inside.
>See mom's coat hung on the hanger, think "Fuck it, maybe she has one too."
>Walk into the dining room and Jaz is about to speak when her mom interrumps.
>"Look Clara, they ran into each other on the way!"
>Mom is there.
>What the fuck.
>Mom says "This is your aunt Lilianne, that's your cousin Jaz., but I guess you met her already.
>Me and Jaz look each other into our eyes.
>We'd kissed.
>We'd fucked.
>We were really attached but not in the cousin way.
>Freak out and leave.
>Haven't talked to her since.
User avatar #146681 to #146541 - nippuhl (07/25/2014) [-]
Total lie but funny read.
User avatar #146594 to #146541 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
That's just a coincidence, plus she's only your cousin, which is legal in Mexico.
User avatar #146598 to #146594 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
And it's also hardly even incest; the difference in DNA between cousins is pretty sizeable and 10% of marriages worldwide are between cousins.
User avatar #146574 to #146541 - marinepenguin ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
That doesn't actually sound terrible. Just a freaky coincidence. I think never talking to her was a mistake though.
User avatar #146550 to #146541 - hawaiianhappysauce (07/24/2014) [-]
I don't get it. You are 18 and a "betafag" but you got laid. Maybe it's different in your country, where everyone fucks at age 12 or something, no matter how much of a loser someone is. In America, betafag implies virgin, not attractive, and no confidence.
#146545 to #146541 - makotoitou ONLINE (07/24/2014) [-]
God damn 10/10 story
User avatar #146543 to #146541 - vortix (07/24/2014) [-]
fuck her some more. whats wrong with cousins? you guys really consider cousins incest? i mean if you like her than is not as awful of a thing is people make it out to be.

im actually attracted to my cousin , shes super fucking hot and i would love to be with her. arabfag here.
#146528 - 4chan refugee (07/24/2014) [-]
i need help. i just recently broke up with my girlfriend long past time . that was yesterday and this morning i woke up to a text message saying "i might have melanoma." and some other things. what are the chances shes lying?
User avatar #146609 to #146528 - saltybanana (07/25/2014) [-]
iridium is right, she is just trying to get your attention, and want to be with you and crap.

just go to the doctors and get tested bro, dont be scared, she could be fucking with you.
User avatar #146610 to #146609 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
Wait.

So who is "I" in the quote? Anon or his Ex?
User avatar #146614 to #146610 - saltybanana (07/25/2014) [-]
what do you mean 'I' i was saying in she is bull shitting him
User avatar #146618 to #146614 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
The "I" in "I might have melanoma." The syntax of the sentence is confusing. Is the girlfriend saying anon might have melanoma? Or is she referring to herself and trying to guilt trip him?

Your post raises a question.
User avatar #146599 to #146528 - iridium (07/25/2014) [-]
Did she tell you anything before about going in for a screening today/yesterday beforehand? I honestly think she's just lying to get your attention, as she'll probably either just do some shit if you do respond, or try to guilt trip you if you don't out of spite.

Those two make way too much of a coincidence, and sending a message regarding a diagnosis right after the breakup is also too much of a coincidence.
User avatar #146530 to #146528 - nsfwcontent (07/24/2014) [-]
You've broke up, her problems aren't your problems anymore. Get on with your life, do what you want to do!
#146529 to #146528 - dehumanizer (07/24/2014) [-]
have fun dying from aids, normie, you've earned it!
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