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User avatar #78077 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Ask me absoloutely anything.
Any mother fucking thing.
liek seriously any mother flimmity jimjacked thing.
User avatar #78794 to #78077 - skydiving (06/14/2013) [-]
Can I ask fifty questions?
User avatar #78798 to #78794 - tjcomics (06/14/2013) [-]
go for it
User avatar #78196 to #78077 - spartusee (06/10/2013) [-]
See my new comment on the board, or I can just paste it here.
#78099 to #78077 - applescryatnight (06/10/2013) [-]
im a fat white guy
i have 4 options
1) most likely option: chubby black girl with big titters, may like me, pretends to be my girlfriend but this may or may not be a joke. i act on this and i can ruin a friendship.
2) cute asian girl with a nice face and really thats pretty much it. super skinny, decent looking body. i hit on her all the time but all she does is put on a huge smile and laugh and completely reject me. very low chances.
3) white girl, sorta chubby. i dont talk to her much, but i hit on her moderately. similar sense of humor as me. probably a stoner though, and i dont really care to be put in that crowd. low to medium chances
4) asian girl thats semi-attractive, but i would bang the shit out of. ive been really nice to her and all but i dunno, its weird. no level of attraction between us. probably lowest chances.

who should i try to ask out tomorrow. keep in mind i can try all these. option 2 & 3 may think its a joke and carry on with life. also, i have a friend who is the tall skinny wimpy version of me. he is super nice and doesnt hit on girls at all. he has the balls to ask a girl out, unlike me. i have to fix the natural order of things.
User avatar #78109 to #78099 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Try 3 tomorrow as she is the best match for you.. If no: 2. If no: 4. If no: 1.
I've done this by weighing in your actual chances, as well as the likely hood of your relationship actually lasting. Looks don't always matter, but no matter what any person says, they're a factor. Personality is really the way to go, but the larger girls will mostly ignore it, as they seem to be the most needy. Its best not to ruing a friendship right off the bat, but if its needed, its a ditch effort. Good luck, and stay classy.
User avatar #78080 to #78077 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
Warning, serious pussy-ass BS incoming.

I can't get over my ex. I've tried dating other people, but my feelings for her get in the way (plus, the last two girls I've dated...not exactly good looking girls.)
And the only decently attractive people that I want to date are either taken, or live 2 hours away and are 15. (I am 19 so that's an automatic no, and I know that I'm a fucking weird perv)
User avatar #78082 to #78080 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Well does this chicka feel for you still?
User avatar #78085 to #78082 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
She's dating someone else and I don't want to get back together with her.

Part of me does, but every other part locks that part in the closet because we broke up and got back together like 5 times and it ended miserably each time. Eventually she cheated on me.

Hence why I started with "I can't get over my ex." I want to get over her. A lot.
User avatar #78087 to #78085 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Shes a bitch. A stuck up fucking cunt. Accept and embrace it. Forget her slut ass. It takes time to find a girl who really cares about you. I spent 6 years of school dating girls, older and younger until i found my current wife. You'll find the proper girl soon enough.
User avatar #78088 to #78087 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
That....that didn't help at all...
User avatar #78089 to #78088 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Well then. The main thing in getting over your ex in noticing how bad she really was. She reaally was bad man. I wouldn't get with her especially not want her, after that shit.
User avatar #78090 to #78089 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
The main problem is that I loved her...a lot...and still do. I dream about her, which is fucking infuriating. I was willing to do so much for her, and she threw it away.

It hurts me, mang....she was a horrible, horrible person and yet she...she got what she wanted, while all I got was heartbreak for doing what I thought was right.

But at least I know I can destroy her any time I want to. I enjoy that knowledge.
User avatar #78091 to #78090 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Why love her any longer when you've seen the beast she's become?
"You may see insightfullness in the beginning, but once you see the truth, the insightfullness shall turn to maliciousness." - Me
User avatar #78092 to #78091 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
Because she's just become a part of me. One that I will likely have to undergo another massive personality change to rid myself of. It's what happened last time.

I lost my virginity to her, after being sexually assaulted and having my sexuality destroyed. She helped me heal in ways I never thought I would.

I don't know whether I'd undo being with her. But I want it to disappear from my mind. I let her go. I let her go and be with her new boyfriend (after telling him several times that she cheated on us both, but he didn't believe me) and I guess it's my loneliness. My need to have somebody to hold, to go to, to talk to. I just have so much bubbling underneath the surface and it was nice to have someone I could let it out with.

I just want to feel the happiness I felt with her again. I got a taste of it at college, with a boy. The one who is now taken. We had a date, we cuddled and I kissed him, but he said he felt no spark. Ugh.
User avatar #78112 to #78092 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Hmph. So you're bisexual? What gender? This can totally change your outlooks on a possible relationship.
User avatar #78115 to #78112 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
User avatar #78116 to #78115 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Hmph. Nevermind. Everyone loves a bi girl. But never look down, dont change your personality for this, relationships shouldn't change you, but strengthen you, trust me on that. The 100+ girls i have dated proved that. i was cheated on, abused, thrown out of houses, stabbed, almost beaten in by a metal pipe, and have been in countless fights just from these. (Thankfully my Tae Kwon Do saved my ass in these)
User avatar #78117 to #78116 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
Trust me, the personality change is for the better. Last time, I became extremely embittered until I "transformed" myself. Right now I'm very depressed and kinda angry lately, as well as very clingy, yet self-isolating.
User avatar #78118 to #78117 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
well if its for the best, then go for it. As long as you don't become a shell or a blabbing twat, you should be fine.
User avatar #78120 to #78118 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
Already went through shell of blabbing twat phase long ago. Not going there again.
User avatar #78078 to #78077 - daryldixon (06/10/2013) [-]
My mom doesn't like the size of my dick anymore.
What do I do
User avatar #78079 to #78078 - tjcomics (06/10/2013) [-]
Cut the tip off. She'll enjoy the variation.
#78074 - deepestanddarkest (06/10/2013) [-]
Whenever I click on a page in Chrome it automatically opens it in a new tab. I'm sorry if this does not count as "advice", but can somebody help? I don't want it to do that.
#78076 to #78074 - sxeindi (06/10/2013) [-]
there's probs an easier way but.. open the settings page for Chrome, scroll down and enable advanced settings, click change proxy settings button, click the "general" tab, and then the second last one will ask you how you want new windows to be displayed (in new tab, new window, same page)
#78212 to #78076 - deepestanddarkest (06/10/2013) [-]
Thank you for the help.
User avatar #78075 to #78074 - daryldixon (06/10/2013) [-]
is your control button stuck?
#78070 - theincorrigibleone ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
Guys... I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I go to this dating site, make the most perfect profile ever, with some reasonable stipulations listed as to who should message me, but I don't get any sort of messages from any girls. Any help?
pic related. it's part of my profile.
User avatar #78106 to #78070 - rokkarokkaali (06/10/2013) [-]
Because you didn't write DJ 4DM1N right
you have to fix the "i" for a "1" or girls will know you're not hardcore
#78107 to #78106 - theincorrigibleone ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
User avatar #78071 to #78070 - daryldixon (06/10/2013) [-]
You never mentioned that you're rank 214
#78073 to #78071 - theincorrigibleone ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
User avatar #78067 - colegaleener ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
My dad and my brother smoke, and I'm constantly breathing cigarette smoke, it's almost like I smoke myself, but believe me, I don't even touch that shit.. is it possible that when I move out in two summers that I'll be experiencing nicotine withdrawal, even though it's not my fault?
User avatar #78068 to #78067 - sanik (06/10/2013) [-]
The withdrawal from nicotine isn't bad at all I went through it 1 year ago when I quit my 30 a day habit and basically it was nothing more than really really wanting to have a cigarette. As you don't smoke this will not be an issue for you and as a matter of fact getting away from the second hand smoke will be good for you.
User avatar #78069 to #78068 - colegaleener ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
i was sorta worried, i saw that commercial where it had two facts, one that had so many people that died from firsthand smoke, and the other that died from second hand smoke, and i dont wanna die, man!
User avatar #78081 to #78069 - azumeow (06/10/2013) [-]
It takes a loooong time for second hand smoke to kill you.

But it will kill your ass, just like it will kill mine. My lungs still have not fully recovered from my mother, even though she smokes a LOT less now.
#78065 - CIS White Male (06/10/2013) [-]
☻/ This is bob. Copy and paste him so he can take over FJ.
#78063 - harryblazer (06/10/2013) [-]
what do you Americans currently think of obama? we were talking about this in class on day and this is what I've gathered
>2008 everyone loves the guy. promoises change, ending war, bringing back jobs
>2012 he hasnt really done much. he's a politician so thats not shocking, but I mean he actually went against alot of what he said
>the next election his whole campaign seemed to be "look at mitt romeny, he's rich and you cant relate to him" or "any problems this country has is either bush's, republicans, or romenys fault"
>gets reelected and is currently doing som really fucked up shit (Bengazi, drones, IRS, spying, ect)
>whenever I bring this up to any liberals all I get is 'yeah....b..but obamacare and he's not mitt romney"
any input?
User avatar #78133 to #78063 - fuckya (06/10/2013) [-]
I like him. I've pretty much defended everything he's done that has come under scrutiny.
User avatar #78072 to #78063 - daryldixon (06/10/2013) [-]
>2008 didnt do anything positive
>2009 didn't do anything positive
>2010 didnt do anything positive
>2011 didnt do anything positive
>2012 didnt do anything positive
>2013 didnt do anything positive
#78057 - deathmetalwarlord (06/10/2013) [-]
What do I do if I'm eating an onion and my eyes are dying but I want to resurrect them from the dead?
User avatar #78061 to #78057 - daryldixon (06/10/2013) [-]
chew 5 gum
#78056 - yyh has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #78058 to #78056 - yyh (06/10/2013) [-]
Wrong board, my bad.
User avatar #78038 - trilogical (06/09/2013) [-]
I have a pretty tricky situation, i mean REALLY tricky
So here is the deal:
I have known this girl for about 1,5 years now and i like her ( yes it's one of those bullshits again ), but she had a boyfriend when i forst met her. Life goes on i wanted to wait for her, we become friends, do sometimes something together and stuff. She breaks up with her bf, but i couldnt ask her out for i was a little sissy. I waited a few months, trying to get courage by trying to just not carrying for anything. It made me to mature, and so i wanted to ask her out. Problem is, she has a new boyfriend ( i am pretty sure she left the last one for the new one ) and i know the dude ( he is an awesome guy 10/10 looking, 2,06 meters high, very nice, cares for everything, and we play lol together almost every week, shit i would him fuck me too ). If i was a nice person i should leave them 2 and wish them good luck, but fuck my emotions, i still love her and i feel like i have to tell her that.
I know exactly what to say and i can call her whenever i want, so should i tell her that i love her and finish this chapter in my life or would that cause another season of heart breaking situations
sorry for all the grammar mistakes i did, english aint my main language
#78060 to #78038 - harryblazer (06/10/2013) [-]
absolutlety 100% go for it. think of it this way, you can either do it and find out,or spnd the rest of your life wondering. to me thats seems like self torture
User avatar #78053 to #78038 - daryldixon (06/09/2013) [-]
hurry the fuck up stop complaining on the internet and be a man
#78039 to #78038 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
If she's with a nice guy then let it be. If you know he's a good guy let it be. Also you say you play LoL together so I'm guessing you're friends and you don't wanna ruin that. There's loads of girls out there man, just get out and look for them, but keep in contact with the girl, if things go south with them two then you will always have your chance to jump in and be with her. But remember this, if they do end up breaking up, wait a little, let things heal, be there for her but don't wait too long or else you'll lose your chance again and might not get another. Hope I helped.
#78041 to #78039 - trilogical has deleted their comment [-]
#78040 to #78039 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Should of logged in for that that was me btw so reply to this if you still have questions.
User avatar #78043 to #78040 - trilogical (06/09/2013) [-]
Yeah, I thought of that too, in fact, i shouldn't be sad, i am already in the beginninng of a relationship with a girl, i am just scared because of 2 things: What do and she is 3 years younger then me. Got some advice on that too?
#78045 to #78043 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Could I get your ages to give a proper comparison?
User avatar #78046 to #78045 - trilogical (06/09/2013) [-]
me 18, she 15
User avatar #78055 to #78046 - lmaopwnt ONLINE (06/09/2013) [-]
A 3 year age gap isn't that bad, 3 years from now you'd be 21 and she'd be 18, that's about as generic as you can get. I personally would never date someone 5 or more years younger than me, 4 years would be pushing it, but 3 is just fine in my book.
User avatar #78048 to #78046 - davvi (06/09/2013) [-]
a friend of mine started dating a 15-year old when he was 19. their still together now a year after.

other than that though, i think you should leave it with her. sounds like she's already in a happy relationship now
#78047 to #78046 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Well that's not too bad. I'm with my current girlfriend, been like 6 and a half months we been going out, got with her when she was 16 and I was 18. Although some people may think of it being weird since you're 18 and she's 15 but it'd be more accepted if she was 16, this being said as 16 is legal age for consensual sex in most places blah blah blah. But if you like her go for it but I'd stay away from anything sexual until she's 16 just to be on the safe side. But don't let the girl you like who's with the other guy interfere with your relationship with this girl. If you TRULY like her be with her and then don't end up dumping her because the girl you liked is single again. If you get to like this girl stay with her and make it work. Hope this helps
User avatar #78049 to #78047 - trilogical (06/09/2013) [-]
Well, i live in austria and at the age of 14 you are allowed to have sex with whomever you want. There is still the 3 years rule in society, you can have sex with everything that's up to 3 years older then you, so i don't have to really worry about that. I couldn't even care for what other people think, because everyone thinks she is 16 or 17.
But i will use your advice, date the chick ( her name is Linda btw ) and won't fuck it up with the other girl ( her name's sarah btw )
#78050 to #78049 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Good, see how it goes with Linda but keep contact with Sarah, if things go south for the both of you, you could try get with Sarah. Good luck man, hope you find happiness with this girl. It's a great feeling being with someone you love. It takes some time for that so don't go dropping the L bomb too early!
User avatar #78051 to #78050 - trilogical (06/09/2013) [-]
I won't, neither am i into that, nor is she XD
Thanks for the advice man, that cheered me up
#78052 to #78051 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Glad I helped and you're welcome man anytime.
#78031 - systemattic (06/09/2013) [-]
So I'm trying to lose weight... I wanted to lose 10 kg in one year, I'm not fat but I'm not fit too, and I have a bit of a belly by now... I'm trying out this "Insanity training" a friend of mine found and 3 of us are doing it daily... Since I'm not from the USA I've never heard of this before, can any of you guys tell me if it is worth it? The training is cool and not boring, and I'm exausted afterwards(just finished today's set an hour ago), but still, is it worth it or am I just waisting my time? Thanks in advance guys posting this on sports too ^^
#78037 to #78031 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
Insanity is awesome if you download it for free, i don't think it'd be worth any money. It's a great work out, after 5 days of doing it i saw a massive difference. Insanity is a massive commitment and you really need to want it, so it's not great for lazy people.
User avatar #78034 to #78031 - davvi (06/09/2013) [-]
the most important part about losing weight is not just working out more, but also changing your diet. eat less snacks inbetween meals, drink less soft drinks, and eat healthier meals altogether.

also, maybe try fitness instead of sports (you can see on the top of any board page)
User avatar #78259 to #78034 - systemattic (06/11/2013) [-]
Thanks! I don't really eat that much, and I try to do balanced meals but since I'm away from home sometimes I can't. I don't really snack much, I just needed to become more active I guess
#78030 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
Should I tell a girl how I feel or not?
I won't see her for.. god knows how long, so the only way will be text.
I don't want to ask her out but I want to at least let her know how I feel.
I also don't want to ruin our friendship.
Should I tell her?
User avatar #78054 to #78030 - daryldixon (06/09/2013) [-]
obviously you should you fucking pussy
User avatar #78006 - beatmasterz (06/09/2013) [-]
If a cop randomly enters someone's house with no probable cause and finds illegal drugs and guns, can he still arrest the owner?
User avatar #78064 to #78006 - medewu ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
No, but with how the laws and everything is going today then most likely they will be able to soon, they weren't able to due to the 4th Amendment, he would still need a search warrant to search illegally but if you grant him permission then, what ever he finds can and will be used against you in the court of law.
#78020 to #78006 - puppetstigma **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #78019 to #78006 - dodgeorramit (06/09/2013) [-]
Nope the exclusionary rule prevents it
User avatar #78013 to #78006 - fuckya (06/09/2013) [-]
Not in the US. It cannot be used against you in court.
Same as in your car. If he searches you and finds something illegal, it cannot be used against you unless he already stated that you were under arrest.
#78008 to #78006 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
I don't think so, coppers need to have a search warrant in order to enter someone's property. They can't arrest if they've entered your house with absolutely no reason.

I think...
User avatar #78009 to #78008 - beatmasterz (06/09/2013) [-]
Would that also go for let's say a corpse?
User avatar #78011 to #78009 - davvi (06/09/2013) [-]
.. i'm getting slightly worried there
User avatar #78012 to #78011 - beatmasterz (06/09/2013) [-]
I need to know this before midnight.
User avatar #78014 to #78012 - godshandshake (06/09/2013) [-]
I laughed.
User avatar #78002 - zynonick (06/09/2013) [-]
I made a thread on this board a few months ago about being in the "Friendzone"
Well, I finally made it out. And now I can actually call her mine. It's only been two and a half months, but they've been the happiest months of my life, and I would like to thank a few people for the advice they gave me.
ilikethisusername , zzonked , gingerizemecaptain

The advice you people gave me helped a lot. I used most of it, and I actually got out of the "Friendzone". So thank you, so much.
User avatar #78004 to #78002 - ilikethisusername (06/09/2013) [-]
no problem.
User avatar #77998 - pringlez (06/09/2013) [-]
Okay so. Not for me here, this is for a bro whom we'll call Dick. He really likes this girl. And I don't blame him. 9/10, funny, nice, great to be around. He's liked her since elementary school. On Friday (which, two days ago in case there's some discrepancy with the international date line and whatnot), he asked me and our other friend, whom we'll call Butt, what to do. I've been in the situation before, and I told him to do what I did. Just be honest with her, tell her how you feel Monday.
There's one problem.
She's got a boyfriend. 8 months.
Dick only has two more chances of telling her how he feels before summer, and doesn't want to have the repressed feelings burden him all summer. wat he do?
#78021 to #77998 - puppetstigma **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#78000 to #77998 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
I mean you answered your question, "She has a boyfriend." I mean, he could tell her, but if he tries to ruin someone's relationship, he's a complete asshole.
User avatar #78005 to #78000 - pringlez (06/09/2013) [-]
He's not going to ruin their relationship. At least, he won't try. But I guess he should do what he wants, I don't even care.
User avatar #77999 to #77998 - pringlez (06/09/2013) [-]
Prefer a quick response, but anything before 6:30 AM EST is fine.
User avatar #78015 to #77999 - fuckya (06/09/2013) [-]
See, that's a complex one, cause if you tell someone that you like them and he know's she's in a relationship, it makes it awkward.

If he really, Really, REALLY likes the girl, and doesn't care if it gets really awkward, (the boyfriends will find out and he's not going to like that), then he should tell her.
#77995 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
ive never been in a relationship where the guy doesnt have tight abs and is an absolute asshole to me and the people around him... i guess i just have a weakness for hot bullies the only thing that i like about these relationships is that the sex is amazing since theyre so dominant.

its weird cus im nothing like them... me and all my guy friends are nerds, but the guys i date always bully them. I need to stop being so shallow and date one of the nicer guys, but none of them are physically attractive in my eyes. It's really annoying! :o
what should I do>
#78059 to #77995 - deathmetalwarlord (06/10/2013) [-]
Stop being a shallow bitch.
User avatar #78016 to #77995 - fuckya (06/09/2013) [-]
Don't date people like me.
#77994 - unncommon ONLINE (06/09/2013) [-]
Advice board I need your advice.
Am I the anti-Christ and or leader of the underworld?
How do I deal with my new-found nobility?
What should I do first?
[Enlarge as needed]
User avatar #78066 to #77994 - medewu ONLINE (06/10/2013) [-]
Devour the souls of the unborn!
#78022 to #77994 - kolimm **User deleted account** (06/09/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#77991 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
Are any ex - smokers here? I used to smoke a pack a day, but I've quit a year ago. And it wasn't anything like "steps" - one day I'd smoked my usuall dose and the next day I didn't smoke even single one.
My problem is, even today I feel strong urge to smoke (on occasion). Mostly when I'm out with my friends. Needless to say, I'm afraid of failing, so it does affect my social life.
Which is nothing of impress, really.
So, advisers - any tip how to get rid of this shit? When will I be finally free?
#78042 to #77991 - ussioc (06/09/2013) [-]
Just tell yourself you're stronger than that, you've gone a year without smoking and just because your friends are doing it doesn't mean you have to. When they go for a cig, dont stand too close or whatever.
#77986 - sundip (06/09/2013) [-]
Hey Advice.

So I have a feeling my girlfriend is going to break up with me soon. It's going to be mutual, just I worry that the feelings will still be there. She's starting work soon, full-time, and I'll still be in college. We won't be able to see each other as much and she's told me she won't be able to have time for a relationship. I've said we can make it work, just she doesn't believe that and she's giving me excuses that she'll even be busy on her day off.

What do I do guys?
User avatar #77990 to #77986 - SunshineCabbage (06/09/2013) [-]
It's better to have a mutual break up than a one-sided one.
How long have you guys been together? Because if you've been together for quite a while, chances are the feelings will still be there for the both of you. I won't lie, it's probably going to hurt, but the best thing to do is focus on something else. Your college work for example, you'll have time to find another relationship, but don't let it affect college because then you're screwed.
User avatar #77989 to #77986 - kolimm **User deleted account** (06/09/2013) [-]
date her sister
User avatar #77987 to #77986 - davvi (06/09/2013) [-]
if the break up is going to be mutual, why do you even want to keep her?
User avatar #77988 to #77987 - sundip (06/09/2013) [-]
It's a long story, just before we got together I was constantly upset and depressed, and she helped me. I never really had anyone help me before, and even when we weren't together I was afraid to lose her.

She's played a massive part of my life and has made me a better person. I'm just afraid to lose her. I felt so lonely without her.
#77982 - CIS White Male (06/09/2013) [-]
How does one initiate making out? Like, how does this happen?
User avatar #77985 to #77982 - kolimm **User deleted account** (06/09/2013) [-]
don't worry anon you'll never get so far so you don't have to worry about that
User avatar #77980 - bitchitroll (06/09/2013) [-]
have any of you ever had to go through Ataturk airport in Istanbul Turkey?
trying to plan a trip to england and i might have to stop in turkey and need to know if the airport is shit or not
#77981 to #77980 - merodach (06/09/2013) [-]
I had a friend who did that. He said that the metal-detector didn't work properly.
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