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User avatar #69492 - freespeech (04/30/2013) [-]
(If you've followed some of my exploits before, than skip to next paragraph)
Before hand, let me say this. A couple months ago, I got told by a police officer that if I get into a fight, even if I don't start it, I will be taken to court, and most likely be sent to Juvenile hall. I'm not a violent person by nature, but I don't take shit without putting up a fight.

Today on the bus ride back from school (i live about a half hour from my school), i see this freshman wailing on another student, a girl. Now I don't believe in hitting women unless your life or general well being is in danger. Now if she decks you once or twice, just brush it off, it's not worth hitting back, because you;ll get your shit fucked over by the legal system. I holler at the fucker to knock it off, and of course this douche ignores it and keeps fucking with her. At one point he had reacher around through the windows (both his and hers were open) and grabbed her hair and pulled her hair out the window. the guy I was sitting with ( i had window seat) was sleeping, and the seats were pretty high so I cold jump over, so I had to stick with verbally assaulting the shit out of him. After the bus ride, i just ended p saing fuck it, and slid my way out of the seat, with my laptop, went up to the fucker and said "You're so fucking tough huh? Must take some sort of strong man to pick on a girl. You're fucking weak, you don't fucking put your hands on a girl."

He then proceeds to shove me (I've been shoved by my 4 year old nephew harder than this punk) and says that classic line "oh, sorry, I'm not supposed to be my hands on girls."

I wanted to fucking deck that panzie ass mother fucker right there.

What does FJ think the appropriate course of action is? And before you say deck him next time he puts his hands on me or a girl, don't worry, that shit's gonna happen.


User avatar #69612 to #69492 - freespeech (05/01/2013) [-]
someone got butthurt and thumbed everyone down.
#69551 to #69492 - Fgner (05/01/2013) [-]
Don't fight him, that'll give him some kind of satisfaction when you get locked up. You use loopholes.

The officer said nothing about restraining another person from fighting. So next time, just hold him back, keep him "restrained". Take out your anger through more emotional things. Get him worked up, dare him to start the fight. Then when he does, "restrain" him. Then do things like spit on his face and mock him in front of the bus. Ruin his image to his peers by making him look like the piece of shit he is. As long as you don't cause physical harm and only do enough physically to restrain him, it's impossible for you to be in trouble. You technically didn't fight, he was the only aggressor - and he's going to learn his lesson.
User avatar #69509 to #69492 - hashketchum (04/30/2013) [-]
Challenge him to penis fencing
#69494 to #69492 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
I don't know what decking is, but I suppose you could just play a round of UNO of Yu-Gi-Oh and call it a day...
User avatar #69508 to #69494 - freespeech (04/30/2013) [-]
Deck/Decking- to punch
Sorry, it's a word we use in my area, and I forget that a lot of people don't understand what it means.
User avatar #69510 to #69508 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
Oh, yeah, makes sense. I think you should just let it pass, girls should be able to fight for themselves, verbally, atleast. And if it should come to a fight, I'm sure some other guys will break it up, you shouldn't risk going to juvenile hall, whatever it is...
#69526 to #69510 - freespeech (05/01/2013) [-]
I cannot, nor will not stand idly by while those much weaker than I are attacked, especially if it is a woman. Now I'm not saying that women are weak, I'm saying that men are naturally stronger, especially when a kid who weighs about 220 is bullying, verbally and physically, a girl who weighs less tan 150. It goes against both my nature, and an oath I swore to myself that I would not let that happen. It is my duty to defend those who cannot defend themselves. When evil people (i refuse to call them men) gang up on a girl (there are about 4 of the jack asses who bully her) I see it as my job to do what ever I can, mostly distract them with words, my weapon of choice. One would even go as far to say is that I am almost as chivalrous as a night at some moments. No one else seems to care on that bus, not even the driver. To quote Einstein, 'the world will not be destroyed by evil people, but by those who stand idly and watch.'

I guess when I asked the question, I meant do I take it to the principal, or sit with/near this girl to prevent more intolerable acts?
User avatar #69562 to #69526 - blaaz (05/01/2013) [-]
Do both, take it to the principle and sit next to the girl but follow Fgner's advice only as a last resort (that is if you dont see anyway of him backing down soon). If the police get involved make sure to try and get the girl to testify on your behalf (albeit she may be incredibly unnerved by being a witness in a court case as most people would be, Im more then certain that if you truly are being as kind to her as you say you are she will be more then willing to testify on your behalf)
User avatar #69507 to #69494 - optimussum ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
Deck = Sock, punch
User avatar #69490 - onionbubs ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
Hey guys, I was gonna have a picnic with some of my friends tomorrow (because its a nice day tomorrow apparently and life is too short to not have fun once in a while).
I just found out that one of my friends is a vegetarian, and all the sandwiches I had already prepared are like chicken or ham or whatever. What are some good vegie sammiches I could make? No, I am not very good with sammiches.

>inb4 feed them with bacon
User avatar #69491 to #69490 - dumerveil (04/30/2013) [-]
Tomato sandwich with lettuce and some form of cheese. Mayo optional.
User avatar #69496 to #69491 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
Gastronomy master right here. No seriously, that is next gen sammich tactics.
User avatar #69497 to #69496 - dumerveil (04/30/2013) [-]
Well, I doubt onion has the ingredients to make a gourmet veggie sandwich on hand. Plus, it's just a simple picnic.
User avatar #69498 to #69497 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
I wasn't being sarcastic, my cooking skills amount to making cup noodles and pizza.
User avatar #69501 to #69498 - dumerveil (04/30/2013) [-]
Cup noodles are all you need, man.
User avatar #69502 to #69501 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
Bacon
User avatar #69541 to #69502 - Ruspanic ONLINE (05/01/2013) [-]
How to make easy bacon:
Put paper towel on a large plate. Put raw bacon strips on paper towel, keeping them separated, and cover them with the paper towel. Heat in microwave for ~3 minutes at highest setting. Discard greasy paper towels.

Instant crispy bacon, no frying pan required.
User avatar #69503 to #69502 - dumerveil (04/30/2013) [-]
You don't really need to cook bacon.
User avatar #69504 to #69503 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
Actually, the only food you could live of for longer periods of time, is breast milk...
User avatar #69505 to #69504 - dumerveil (04/30/2013) [-]
Not very savory, though.
User avatar #69506 to #69505 - kingofdogs (04/30/2013) [-]
Cup noodles will do for now.
User avatar #69486 - nigalthornberry ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
What am i supposed to do about my eyebrows whenever i pluck them even 1 hair they stay red for about 2 days
I tried doing it right after i get out of the shower that only helps a little bit but that doesn't stop them from growing back over night
#69634 to #69486 - N. Korean citizen (05/02/2013) [-]
ever tried ice?
User avatar #69511 to #69486 - hystericalparoxysm (04/30/2013) [-]
Use lavender oil to help soothe them after you pluck your eyebrows. I also recommend waxing, it gets less painful the more you wax. I used to use GiGi's Tweezeless Wax, it came with a little bottle of the lavender oil.
User avatar #69485 - theangryrussian (04/30/2013) [-]
I need a torrent of all of Metallica's work (prior to black album). Anyone?
User avatar #69493 to #69485 - smashingprodigy (04/30/2013) [-]
http://thepiratebay.sx/torrent/8425017/Metallica5PrimerosDiscos[Mp3]

It's in Spanish, but it covers the first 5 albums.
User avatar #69489 to #69485 - hongtonggobblenuts ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
Look for the right board.
User avatar #69500 to #69489 - theangryrussian (04/30/2013) [-]
I did. I got a response faster here.
User avatar #69487 to #69485 - davvi ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
try piratebay
also, if nobody here comes around to help, you could also try the music board.
User avatar #69483 - fuckitbucket (04/30/2013) [-]
Only really remembered this from ages ago, is it really bad if i missed one of those mandatory school shots? like the ones everyone in the year got...
I'm guessing its for something serious if everyone is supposed to be given it.
#69495 to #69483 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
[big]UR GUNNA DIE [big]!!
#69482 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
I have a lot of friends. When the attractive female ones invite me over to hang around (usually to play games or talk about their problems), I steal their bra's and panties.

I collect these in a box under my bed.
Am I a sick fellow or what?
#69716 to #69482 - thezillis (05/02/2013) [-]
Hah
Yes
User avatar #69543 to #69482 - rokkarokkaali ONLINE (05/01/2013) [-]
Mail them to me.
User avatar #69484 to #69482 - davvi ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
yes
User avatar #69481 - laphantom ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
I'm derping a lot today and I can't get this batch file to work correctly, can anyone help me (link is to a google doc with the code on).
docs.google.com/document/d/1DOOh63WTJp6-hR80t5NrD7dgqtGd2ePVoPB3zDxZK68/edit?usp=sharing
User avatar #69552 to #69481 - Fgner (05/01/2013) [-]
I was definitely expecting a BASH file... I saw that and went "wait...the fuck, is this C?"

It looks fine to me, but I haven't used WinAPIs in absolutely forever, I probably couldn't tell if you were using a deprecated call or anything. Sorry I couldn't be more help! But StackOverflow could probably help you more than Funnyjunk.
User avatar #69565 to #69552 - laphantom ONLINE (05/01/2013) [-]
There is one format I haven't tried yet, just need to remember what its called. It opens like a pop-up.
#69479 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
>Known a girl since 2009, we're both 19 now
> Both of us were extremely shy around each other, rarely spoke in person
>She liked me for a while (found out about a year ago)
>Doesn't like me like that anymore, still considers me a "friend" (inb4 friendzoned)
>Haven't physically seen her for well over a year
>I haven't really fancied her since 2010, still care for her though
>She now has a kid, and i'm actually cool with it... No, seriously.

So, I feel we're going through a stage where nothing's happening, but I don't want to lose contact with her. How can I start up a conversation with her, the chat's we've had have only ever been stuff like "how are you?".. boring stuff. I don't want to come across as though i'm trying to get her to like me again, because I don't like her that way anymore either, but i'd still like us to be friends, because we had loads of stuff in common. That being said, i'm worried I might end up liking her again...
User avatar #69521 to #69479 - ilovelsloths (05/01/2013) [-]
Why are you scared of liking her?
User avatar #69476 - sheperdofthestars (04/30/2013) [-]
So I'm gonna watch The Green Mile for the first time tonight.

How sad should I expect to be at the end? I've heard it's rife with feels.
#69717 to #69476 - thezillis (05/02/2013) [-]
Rev up them feels
User avatar #69475 - weenieandthebutt (04/30/2013) [-]
What's the most common place where I can find the cool chicks who're into anime, manga, games and all the other awesome sauce? My crush is one of those girls into all the cool shit I like (AND MORE) but I just happened to meet her by chance the hundreds of times I've been to this rock nightclub.
#69468 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
so.. i feel atracted to two of my female cousins.. what do?
User avatar #69591 to #69468 - swiftykidd (05/01/2013) [-]
get the hell out of the south
#69477 to #69468 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
The D.
User avatar #69470 to #69468 - Timmietim ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
give them the D
#69471 to #69470 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
i want to. but i have no idea how to start the relationship.....
#69473 to #69471 - alexanderburns ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
>relationship
#69464 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
boyfriend
:o :/
:'( xxx
User avatar #69456 - stefanovic (04/30/2013) [-]
What phrase will I put next to my picture in my yearbook?
#69577 to #69456 - N. Korean citizen (05/01/2013) [-]
My best friend's girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him senior year, and his yearbook quote was "Cheaters never prosper" Shit was so cash
#69544 to #69456 - rokkarokkaali ONLINE (05/01/2013) [-]
"gotta go fast"
User avatar #69512 to #69456 - rageisfunny (04/30/2013) [-]
Awesome, awesome to the max.
User avatar #69488 to #69456 - nigalthornberry ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
Is there word limit if not http://luis.impa.br/chaplin.html
User avatar #69474 to #69456 - weenieandthebutt (04/30/2013) [-]
"chicks shall be getting the D elsewhere other than their grades"
#69465 to #69456 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
mincraft very cool
#69463 to #69456 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
lkfasflkjaslfk - helen keeller
#69459 to #69456 - samoaspider (04/30/2013) [-]
Put something original and not meme-related, also short

Maybe a quote?
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Gandhi
"You miss every shot you don't take" - taken from "Office"
(Futurama has awesome stuff to quote too)

A short yet funny joke maybe?
Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog


I'm 99,9% sure you won't choose any of those but atleast I hope that helped a little.
User avatar #69462 to #69459 - stefanovic (04/30/2013) [-]
Gave me some great ideas, thanks mate
#69457 to #69456 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
i am a huge faggot
#69455 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
I'm a guy, and I'd never have sex with another guy but I really sometimes feel like sticking something up my butt, am I gay?
#69449 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
Told a guy I had an apprenticeship at EON, I gotta tell him what it's like; FJ what would an 18 year old have to do at an apprenticeship at EON???
User avatar #69446 - tehnukecomes (04/30/2013) [-]
i just saw a kid getting hit by a car,and i felt nothing.
while everyone was rushing and stuff,i sat on a chair watching everything without emotion.

am i a hearless asshole?
#69447 to #69446 - prominant ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
You didn't mention how exactly the little kid looked like or how he got hit by a car, but just judging from what you told me now; I'd have to say you're a moron and if/when you have a kid and he gets hit by a car, and people show the same remorse that you've shown then, I hope it hurts.
0
#69443 - prominant has deleted their comment. [-]
User avatar #69442 - ntns ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
im looking for a post with good advice from a fellow funnyjunkers teacher
#69434 - N. Korean citizen (04/30/2013) [-]
Hey. I have a big problem right now. I'm a student and I have short on money. I'm not a big spender when it comes to money, but my family asked if I could lend them some money to pay something. Now I don't have enough for my rent. What should I do?

I have asked for jobs etc but no luck, and I can't ask my family for help.
User avatar #69450 to #69434 - davvi ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
student loans
#69445 to #69434 - prominant ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
Donating blood I'm pretty sure helps, selling shit on EBay, pawnbroking.. loans?
User avatar #69435 to #69434 - medewu ONLINE (04/30/2013) [-]
You can always Donate plasma you go 2x a weak and depending on how much you weigh some people can get about 50$ a week and such so that's always a good route, also check Craigslist cause people always need help moving and such and will pay.
User avatar #69419 - tetusic (04/30/2013) [-]
I feel so overwhelmed with life right now, I'm just of in the middle of a break down. I'm nearing the end of my Junior year in high school, and it has just been nothing but stress for me. On top of school, I'm also in choir, have a boyfriend, and a job, so I have a lot to keep up with. Since this new semester started, I have had to read & annotate 3 books simultaneously, deal with standardized testing, and all this other stuff for my regular classes. In choir, I have to learn 1 song for my choral placement audition next year, 2 songs if I want to sing with a professional choral group in San Francisco, 2 songs if I want to audition for a pop group, and on top of that I have to know another song for a voice lesson recital. I haven't had time to look at any of my music because I've had bronchitis for the past few weeks, so I could barely talk, nevertheless sing. That all needs to be known next week. In my Public Speaking class, I have to give a how-to speech tomorrow with a visual, and I wasn't able to start that until an hour ago. It has to be memorized. Then I also have work on top of all of that. I've really just lost the will and motivation to do pretty much anything, since I'm so strung out and stressed and depressed about attempting to juggle my life right now. Like, I work up the will to do something and once I'm actually doing it, I'm just like..."nah."...My schedule is literally full day-to-day. I get about one free day a week, which is the day I catch up on sleep. Is it at all possible for me to not get all horrendously strung out over all of this? Because I'm literally having break downs about it. I feel a lot less healthy, more tired, less focused, much less motivated...How do I help this?

TL;DR

I'm pretty damn stressed with trying to juggle way too much in my life and it feels like I've pretty much given up and lost the will to do things I have to do. When dropping any of the things isn't an option, how do I not rip my hair out and break down?
User avatar #69426 to #69419 - kobegriffeysanders (04/30/2013) [-]
Coincidentally, I'm a junior in high school who lacks motivation and who's stressed out by a bunch of crap I'm involved with, albeit it seems you're much more stressed than me. I'm also involved in a bunch of choir stuff, and I have a job, so I have a general idea of what you're going through. From what I see, there are a couple things you could do.

One would be to find an outlet to cope with your stress. For example, when I'm really stressed out, I shut the world away and get lost doing stuff on my computer, whether it be browsing the Internet, arranging a song, playing games, or whatever. I try to get away from it all for a while. Doing that exactly might not work for you, but what I'm trying to say is that you should find a way to cope with this stress. I don't know if you would have time for something like that though, but I myself make it work.

Although this may not seem like a great idea, another thing you could do is drop something you're involved with. You could decide to quit your job for the time being, or you could decide to not be as involved with choir or, dare I say, your boyfriend. The reason I suggest this is because it kinda seems like you're involved in too many things if you're this stressed out about everything.

You could also push through with everything for another month or so, and then it will be summer vacation. You won't have to worry (I don't think) about being nearly as involved with everything over the summer, and you'll be extremely relieved that school is over for a while. At least that's what I'm looking forward to.

I don't know if any of this will help, but that's just my two cents. You'll get through it though. :)
User avatar #69429 to #69426 - tetusic (04/30/2013) [-]
Haha dropping the boyfriend isn't really an option, not that I would want to. He kind of helps me cope. He's already graduated, so when I'm with him I don't have to hear anything about school stuff, so it's really nice to be able to escape it when need be.

I'm glad I found someone to relate. Well, not glad that you're going through the same thing, since this sucks... But you get it.

I want to drop my voice lessons, but if I want to get into a Varsity choir my senior year, that's unfortunately not an option. It sucks since it's really expensive and really time consuming and I always push it aside anyway. I know I can just not do lessons next year, since there will be no purpose for me to do so. I made a 1 in solo/ensemble, so I've achieved my choir letter, so I am not at all complaining. But yeah, voice lessons aren't happening next year.

I've heard that junior year is the worst year as far as stress and such goes.

I have nothing going on during the summer other than work, so I GREATLY look forward to summer. 27 days...

Thanks a bunch. I feel a little less panicked now c:
User avatar #69430 to #69429 - kobegriffeysanders (04/30/2013) [-]
Haha all right, I figured as much about the boyfriend.

I guess I don't really know what it's like to have choir be that competitive... I go to a relatively small school (450ish people), and I've been in my school's "varsity" choir since I was a freshman (it's really not a big accomplishment though; if you sound halfway decent, you're in). So I don't really have anything to work up to. You, on the other hand, evidently have a lot to work up to. Are voice lessons required to be in your school's varsity choir?

I've also heard that junior year is the most stressful year, but it's almost over. I'm glad I could help.
User avatar #69431 to #69430 - tetusic (04/30/2013) [-]
My school is overpopulated. My junior class has about 750-ish students. Our choirs are VERY competitive. We have 2 varsities and 2 non-varsities. From worst to best [also non-varsity to varsity] it goes Women's Treble, Mixed Choir, Women's Chorale, and The Chorale. Obviously, the Women's choirs are girls only. I'm currently in the Mixed Choir, just like I was last year because I was a transfer student, and typically transfers don't move up their first year. To get into a varsity choir, you need at least 1 "bonus point" which can be achieved through like...Auditioning for musical, getting voice lessons, going to solo/ensemble, getting a 1 at solo/ensemble, just things like that. The more points you accumulate, the more likely you are to get into a varsity choir, so I'm doing everything in my power to get a high amount of points. Although you do get points knocked off for not attending a concert due to grades [if you're failing any class, you are ineligible to perform for a Quarter], and I was ineligible for our big madrigal show because of Spanish, so that'll hurt. I'm hoping to get into The Chorale, mainly because I don't want to be in the Women's Chorale since I can only handle other females in moderation :P
User avatar #69432 to #69431 - kobegriffeysanders (04/30/2013) [-]
Oh wow, you have it a lot worse off than me lol. :/ I would hate that... High school choir shouldn't be that competitive, in my opinion. That would take the fun out of it for me. I guess there's not much you can do about it though... Just work at it. You can make it. I wish you the best of luck with it. :)
User avatar #69433 to #69432 - tetusic (04/30/2013) [-]
At my old schools [I move about every 2 years], all of my choirs have been so relaxed and just really enjoyable. But here, the choir program is so strict and so gifted and awarded. Never been through such a serious program.

Thanks again c:
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